Guest viewing is limited

CAFCASS Experiences

That is what bothers me - that Judges rely on Cafcass decisions. As I mentioned earlier - I had one Cafcass officer who “threatened “ when I wouldn’t back down and agree to something. Saying “the Judge will do what I say” ominously - and basically I had to back down and agree to something which wasn’t in son’s best interests. Got it sorted at final hearing though.

Am also aware that some Judges know full well that Mothers clamour for Cafcass involvement because they intend to coach and manipulate. One Judge said - everyone knows the child will just say what the parent tells them to.

What is shocking is that Cafcass do seem to take all allegations as fact believing the Mother before any evidence has been seen. As you say PD maybe they are just covering their backs in case anyone gets hurt. But Karen Woodall (PA specialist) is pretty scathing about them saying they are trained to a “feminist model “ of social work (presumably women as victims and men as abusers). You’d think feminists would be saying to Mothers - get a job! Share the care. Bizarre. They have this inbuilt thing as well (from 1970s psychology stuff) that the Mother is the most important - special bond and all that. Which frankly is codswallop. The bond is equal IMO. And some Dads are better parents than Mums. Which is why it should be 50/50 - in case one parent isn’t up to scratch! (Lots of other reasons too).

If it’s a first application with a recently separated couple I can understand in some ways then needing to look into allegations. But in cases like yours PD where you’ve been co parenting for years it MUST be clear the allegations are a reaction to the court application!

I had exactly the same thing after years of parenting. In fact a return to court after final hearing had Cafcass gunning for me and siding with the Mother. Why? Because she risked losing residency. From what I’ve seen, any Dad who applies for residency will have Cafcass siding with the Mother (what’s going on there? Is it “he’s trying to steal her kids” attitude?).
I honestly think they think the kids are “hers”. But not all cases - easier when there are no allegations. I fell foul of making allegations of ex at one point (which were true). She made up some back and then they think - child in the middle of conflict - give them to the Mother.

You need to tread carefully with Cafcass.
 
So I have my interview in ten days. My ex has a nice long list of allegations and has managed to get two of my kids to go along. One is not so serious verbal abuse but the second has said verbal physical emotional and sexual abuse. So all in all a complete s**t storm. I’m nervous and hurt, how can someone who’s meant to have loved you for years go to these lengths just to stop a great parent from seeing his kids. How she sleeps at night I have no idea as she knows it’s all untrue.

Can anyone offer any advice on what I can do or say to help the situation and get the best from the interview.

I’m doing a timeline and keeping a diary of any events, I don’t have contact with ex or kids so not much in the diary. SS have my full response on file to allegations though SW is taking her merry time getting minutes from meetings together.
 
I'm going to post my reply on your thread RJ, as this one is for Cafcass Experiences and you haven't had any experiences yet lol - but I'm sure you will have something to add on here later!
 
I am just about to go through this initial phone call next week, so my daughters Birthday is this Saturday, ex got the Cafcass call, then decided to cut all contact based on as "she told me" Cafcass recommended her to do it.... apparently she has a new concern of me alienating her or something, not sure what it is yet, just another thing to add to the lame portfolio of concerns she has used over the last year or so,, best bit was, within the same day, she applied to the CMS to say I no longer have any overnight stays, I have 14 days to respond, I think I said to the Cafcass woman, "right, I see!", "well that's a turnup for the book! , I thought she would have said I was a paedophile or something worse by now" not sure that has done me any favours as yet.... but I just don't get it, I just don't get any of it :-(
 
ShittyArse said:
I am just about to go through this initial phone call next week, so my daughters Birthday is this Saturday, ex got the Cafcass call, then decided to cut all contact based on as "she told me" Cafcass recommended her to do it.... apparently she has a new concern of me alienating her or something, not sure what it is yet, just another thing to add to the lame portfolio of concerns she has used over the last year or so,, best bit was, within the same day, she applied to the CMS to say I no longer have any overnight stays, I have 14 days to respond, I think I said to the Cafcass woman, "right, I see!", "well that's a turnup for the book! , I thought she would have said I was a paedophile or something worse by now" not sure that has done me any favours as yet.... but I just don't get it, I just don't get any of it :-(
Click to expand...
Hi, sorry to hear your story. I’ve not long done my call with CAFCASS. My ex has literally thrown every allegation she can think of at me. My experience with the CAFCASS officer was good, not everyone’s is the same though. They’d established early in the interview with me that my ex had lied.

I’m not sure they’d have advised her to cut contact. If like me they’ll advise you at the end of your interview what their recommendations to the courts will be.

Best thing you can do in your interview is stay calm and be child focused. They might say your ex said this or that or may not say anything regarding what she’s said at all. You need to be prepared for that and if they do say things regarding her allegations then just say something along the lines of “I’m afraid that’s not true, I just want the children to have a loving relationship with both parents and families”

Do not say anything negative about your ex that could be seen as hostility or animosity towards her, they don’t like that. Make notes for the interview if you need to so you can refer to them. I made notes for mine but I didn’t need to use them with mine as the CAFCASS officer guided the conversation.

Just remember stay calm don’t loose your temper no matter what they said your ex said. You can argue those things later down the line in court.
 
Sorry for any confusion, my current partner is really on the ball, its my ex with the anxiety so bad that before we met ex told me she kept going up to A&E as she was convinced she was going to die. I just answered the questions really, she asked if my ex had any mental health issues, I had to mention this, even though I did not want to, now apparently if you don't further on in the court process I was told it could have an impact if I said there was none when there clearly are, one thing I have been advised is from now on, not contact her in any way unless necessary as anything could now happen, one thing is for sure, ex cant really make any more accusations she has played all her cards now so as to not implicate herself I guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ash
Moved Hacked_off Dads posts and responses to new thread as this section is really just for Cafcass experiences for others to compare.
 
Hi all I’m new to This and looking for guidance as to what questions cafcass will ask, I was the victim of domestic violence, gaslighting, and cohersive control for the last 8 years from my ex, my main priority is my children I want them safe but they are with her atm as she won’t let me see them children services are involved and the police but I’m now at the stage where I am trying to obtain an emergency child arrangement order via my solicitor. But I understand cafcass will get involved to ask question just would like to know what kind of things they ask . Any help would be appreciated

DaddyD
 
Hi there. This thread is really just to share experiences people have had with Cafcass - so suggest you start a new thread of your own on the subject and I am sure you will get plenty of response and help :).
 
I had one mediocre experience with CAFCASS.

He said it would be a 10 minute conversation, but it ended up being 40 minutes. All the mother said was assumed to be true and he really struggled to get what I was saying into his brain. At several points I asked him to confirm he had put what I just said into his notes, he was slippery but confirmed in the end. If I hadn't insisted he record things none of the child-focussed things I said would have been included.

Safeguarding letter contained factual inaccuracies including an account of what I said on alcohol use based on his prejudice rather than my words. Luckily, I had kept all communication in writing and in speech respectful, even reverential. I submitted an account of his factual inaccuracies to his manager and requested correction. Due to a bereavement, release of the updated safeguarding letter was delayed until a day before 1/2 day "determination on evidence" hearing. Goalposts were moved quite significantly for the other side. Maybe his prejudice and misrepresentation ended up working in my favour.
 
Had my cafcass call yesterday. They called promptly at the time they stated in their letter. Dead on 1pm. They started by asking a few personal details. Ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc. They then asked what I'm wanting from the child arrangements order (which is equal share care, lives with both parents order). She asked me why, to which I went through all of the reasons why this arrangement would benefit the children. They had already done their safeguarding checks and said there were no issues. They asked me if I had any concerns about the children's current emotional wellbeing with the mother. I told them about some recent incidents whereby the children had been honest and vocal to me about what their mother had been telling them to say (I.e. that they don't want to live with me because it's inconvenient with their clothes, books etc and that I live to far away from their school (I'm only 6 miles away) and my 11 year old son asked me if I'll be able to manage and take care of them. Something an 11 year old just does not say. He was crying when he told me so I probed further to find out that his mother had been telling him this. My 6 year old girl is more innocent and cannot be manipulated. She told me that her mother told her not to listen to dad. Anyway explained to the cafcass officer all of these concerns but madenit clear that I understand that the mother is scared of losing the children and probably still trying to get over and accept the separation. And also that this all started when she believed I had a partner even though I denied it. I was trying to be reasonable and understanding of my exs situation but made it clear it was about her losing the children and not about what's best for them. She asked me about any concerns of drug or alcohol abuse. And that was really it. At the end she said that they won't be interviewing the children because it sounds like we both know what's best. She also said they won't be representing in court and they'll only file their report and it'll be solely the judges decision. Really just a templated, check box exercise but I think she realised we're a normal family and just have personal differences but no serious issues.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I had mine a few weeks ago and they said there are safeguarding issues with the kids as I have raised some things that happened in the house and told them I have recordings, the cafcass interviewer has not spoken to my kids that I’m awake off as they are 7 and 3 but apparently my 7 year old has said I’m lying and gone mad that’s what their mum told them, but I know my 7 year old would not say that and my wife is saying things to the kids about me and that’s why she told cafcass that, so she is manipulating the kids in telling them things, the cafcass worker has said I should be able to see the kids and has sent it to the courts to look at, the court hearing was last week and I have still not heard anything what so ever it’s taking ages.
 
Preet50 said:
Had my cafcass call yesterday. They called promptly at the time they stated in their letter. Dead on 1pm. They started by asking a few personal details. Ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc. They then asked what I'm wanting from the child arrangements order (which is equal share care, lives with both parents order). She asked my why, to which I went through all of the reasons why this arrangement would benefit the children. They had alresdy done their safeguarding checks and said their were no issues. They asked me if I had any concerns about the children's current emotional wellbeing with the mother. I told them about some recent incidents whereby the children and been honest and vocal to me about what their mother had been telling them to say (I.e. that they don't want to live with me because it's inconvenient with their clothes, boos etc and that I love to far away from their school (I'm only 6 miles away) and my 11 year old son asked me if I'll be able to manage and take care of then. Something an 11 year old just does not say. He was crying when he told me so I probed further to find out that his mother had been telling him this. My 6 year old girl is more innocent and cannot be manipulated. She told me that her mother told her not to listen to dad. Anyway explained to the cafcass officer of these Co cersns bit understands that the mother is scared of losing the children and probably still trying to get Iver and accept the separation. And also that this all started when she believed I had a partner even though I denied it. I was trying to be reasonable and understanding of my exs situation but made it clear it was about her losing the children and bot about what's best for them. She asked me about any concerns of drug or alcohol abuse. Amd that was really it. At the end she said that they won't be interviewing rhe children because it sounds like we both know what's best. She also said they won't be representing in court and they'll only file their report and it'll be solely the judges decision. Really templated, check box exercise but I think she realised we're a normal family and just have personal differences but no serious issues.
Click to expand...
That sounds good. It sounds like Cafcass have sussed that the ex will coach the kids, so they've decided not to talk to them - and have bowed out to let the Judge/court deal with the situation. Update us when you get their letter/report though - sometimes they say one thing on the phone and something completely different in the report! Also in the report you'll get to see what the Mother said. The thing is with those reports, they are mainly just repeating what each parent said - not necessarily agreeing with what each parent has said - , although they do have conclusions/recommendations at the end.
 
How long does it take roughly for the courts to reply back once they receive the cafcass report, my 1st hearing was a week ago and still not heard anything back
 
DaddyD said:
How long does it take roughly for the courts to reply back once they receive the cafcass report, my 1st hearing was a week ago and still not heard anything bacI
Click to expand...

It maybe worth checking the order from the previous hearing. In my case, when the order was issued it stated that Cafcass will complete the s7 report and that there will be an interim hearing on day X to deal with interim contact, and a hearing on day Y to deal with the section 7 reports. You may also want to speak with the court clerks.
 
They have said there will be a section 7 report but also said that I should be able to see my Children . Cafcass put report in on Friday to court just didn’t know how long it takes roughly to a directional hearing then final hearing but just wanna see my kids
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top