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Section 7 Report

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Feellost without my boys

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Hello,

I had my section 7 report yesterday regarding contact to see my 2 boys and a few a few questions.

1) I haven't seen my boys now for 21 weeks, when i first split up with my ex partner i was allowed to go and see them everyday for a month until my oldest was sitting next to on the sofa while we were watching my youngest playing on his playstation. When my ex walked in the room he started to cry out of the blue when both me and my partner asked why he was crying he wouldnt say i even said to him if you want to go back up on your gaming pc i will come up and watch you which he replied that he wanted to stay with me, now this where things turn as i left the house that night and a few hours later i received a text message saying that me ex was cutting all contact as she was doing this for her mental health nothing more nothing less and the boys blocked me from there whats app and i have had no contact since so i went to mediation and done my MIAM meeting but she didnt and was told that mediation was unsuitable.

2) So i applied to court for a CAO and had my original safeguarding telephone call with Cafcass and just said i dont know why all this has happened apart from my ex saying she was doing this for her mental health.

3) I received a copy of the safeguarding letter and my ex had made a number of serious allegations against me which are all un true and luckliy enough i have evidence that they are all are.

4) The day before i was due to go to court for FHDRA i received an updated safe guarding letter saying i was under police investigation for child abuse as my ex had phone the police on the 24th March about this and i didn't know anything till i received this report on the 28th June, obviously when i received this i crapped myself and left work too go straight to the police station to ask what all this was about as i was at court the next day. The safeguarding police officer told me there was no further action and if they were to follow it up i would've been arrested and released on bail.

5) I went to court the next day and i was representing myself when i got took in to the room with the cafcass officer at the court i pulled up some in accuracies about the report as the report stated that my partner had smacked my children the thing is i don't have a partner, the next thing was i had smacked my son on his bum but left marks on his legs so to me that's shows my children are getting coached from my ex and her friend and thirdly that my son was too scared to tell his mam that i had smacked him, i know my son and he would tell her if i had don it which i haven't i have never smacked my children. So when i went in the court my ex didn't even turn up and the judge wasn't happy but i was still not allowed any contact with my children till they get the police report which i think is ridiculous as was 3 month ago when she done this and the judge ordered a section 7 report.

6) I had my interview yesterday with the cafcass officer which went well i think i did get my point across of all the lies my ex has said and in fact i gave him a report off before we met as she had lost her 3 daughters due to emotional neglect and not being able to meet there needs. I said i think she is going down the same path as then as she has made the same kind of allegations as she did then and her mental health is playing a big part of this. But what gets me is that the evidence i had to show the cafcass officer about the lies she has told and the proof i had he wasn't interested in looking at it, i asked now that you have the police report and that there is no further action can i have some interim contact with my 2 boys till we go back to court in October so i can start to build my relationship back up with them as the damage was has been done is ridiculous.

7) The cafcass officer said that he will speak to my ex next week and ask her if i can see them, i am not holding my breath as she is making sure i don't have any contact with them and has turned them against me as up to the day i got stopped seeing them i used to get a message every night off my oldest saying goodnight love you and my youngest used to video call me everyday and send me videos of him blowing kisses to me until the day she cut me off so i haven't had anything back since so to be cut off like that shows she is alienating them against me i text the boys every couple of days to tell them i love them and i miss them but don't get nothing in return.


I feel so lost without my boys in my life and feel like its going to be hard as i have received messages off her friend saying the boys don't want to see me and did explain this to the cafcass officer that they are going to say this due to what they have been getting taught.

Any advice for how i can proceed with out hurting the boys which are 12 and 9. The cafcass officer is going to see them in school when they return in September and the section 7 report has to be sent to the court by the 21st but if i have to wait till i go to court to see my boys it will have been 31 weeks since i seen them
 
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's bloody awful not seeing them.
Your boys love you so don't believe any of the bs their mother is telling you.
Sadly it's a frustrating waiting game where the mothers are gatekeepers to your children.
Others may have some more productive advice than me.
 
It sounds like your ex is trying to play the delay game. Not turn up to court and generally drag things out. The problem is this can go on for a long time..

The main thing is keeping things child focused and trying not to get distracted by the allegations as much as possible. The authorities will only be interested usually if reported at the time and there is then some kind of proof. It doesn't sound like that applies? Ultimately all the bs just disappears if parents can agree a way forward.

What kind of time with the kids are you looking for?
 
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Roblox said:
Have you taken any legal advice
Click to expand...
Hello yeah I have taken legal advice just can't afford it I have been accepted with we are advocate but still waiting to see if they have found a barrister for me. I told cafcass that the minimum I want is overnight stays every weekend but ideally I want 50/50 but am still waiting to get a house which is being a pain to get one I'm hoping by the time I go to court in October I will have one
 
Roblox said:
It sounds like your ex is trying to play the delay game. Not turn up to court and generally drag things out. The problem is this can go on for a long time..

The main thing is keeping things child focused and trying not to get distracted by the allegations as much as possible. The authorities will only be interested usually if reported at the time and there is then some kind of proof. It doesn't sound like that applies? Ultimately all the bs just disappears if parents can agree a way forward.

What kind of time with the kids are you looking for?
Click to expand...
I had to explain to cafcass as they were asking about the allegations she made but he wasn't willing to look at the evidence I have but he did listen to me and typed it all down
 
Sorry to hear you and your boys are going through this. What schedule did you ask for on your application form?
 
So sorry to hear what you're going through.

Stay calm mate. Easier said than done but please do.

I wouldn't be mentioning any sort of minimum time you wpuld accept in an order.

Press for the 50/50.
 
I did say I wanted 50/50 but I put on the C100 that I would like judge to decide who boys luve with although I expect them to leave the boys with there mam but truthfully I would just be happy to see them
 
If it's 50/50 it means they live with both parents legally (what used to be joint residency).
 
With my parents at the minute I am bidding on houses but not getting anywhere near and for me to become priority I have to have at least 50/50 with the boys which is catch 22 as they won't give me that if I don't have a house
 
That isn't necessarily the case. Is there a room the kids could have at your parents? So they have their own room? Even if not, they could be in your room, or have your room when they're staying and you sleep on the couch or something. And you can say, in a position statement, that initially they would live with you at your parents and you're in the process of finding your own place. Just because the ex lives in the former family home, doesn't mean that is where the kids live. It's about which parent do they live with. And they can live with both parents at different times.
 
Oh right thats good to know, yeah they could have my room at my parents till I got my own place I am hoping to have my own place before I go back to court anyway I have 7 weeks to find one and with one housing association I have been giving a priority band but it means the house will be no where near the school. I did tell cafcass that my work said if that's what happens I can work from home the week I have them so I can take boys to school and pick them up luckily I have a good employer like that.
 
Good morning mate.

My experience is that the courts are far more concerned with children having a loving, caring and safe relationship with their parents.

The older they get, the more important a bedroom might be but for now, whatever energy / resources you have, I'd be channeling them towards getting the best outcome for you via the courts.

My experience with CAFCASS has been less positive.

I'd be wary of giving them any information they could use against you. Being overly honest and forthcoming about potential issues might not be the way forward.

Talk about the positives. Stick to them.
 
Well i have already had my interview for the section 7 report and I had to answer about all the allegations made against me even though the judge said in the court order that there was no need for a fact finding hearing due to me being able to see the boys in her home when we had split for a month before she decided to cut all contact and all allegations were apparently historic so I think the judge could see that they were all lies. I did show cafcass the messages and videos I had off the boys telling me they love me up to that point .

Cafcass did ask my concerns in which I did say she is following the same path as when she lost her daughters before we met so I was worried about the emotional needs of the boys but didn't have any concerns about the physical needs as I know she will look after them that way it's more of what she is telling them to turn them against me
 
Just see what the S7 says when you get it back. Hopefully it'll be fine.
 
Fingers crossed 🤞 and hopefully I can get a barrister through we are advocate to help me as I've been accepted by them but they have to find one. Also cafcass did say they are going to ask my ex next week to see if I can have contact with the boys till we go to court I even said I would go in a contact centre to prove am not the monster she is making me out to be.

If she says no I think this will go against her in court as it will show that she is being awkward when she said apparently she has been encouraging the contact which is all lies and with her not turning up to court for the first hearing will make her look bad.

I know when we go back to court she has to explain why she didn't turn up and the judge mentioned this 3 times in the court order so he really wasn't happy as she didn't even phone up to say why.

The good thing about the court order is its all in my favour as I told the judge I would do anything needed to see my boys whether this is contact in a contact centre or doing parental lessons as that's what she has requested and the judge said it shows you are willing to jump through hoops to see your boys and has even wrote that on the court order.
 
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