It begins

[Ash]

If you do it now it's not too late. If he was 13 or 14 then it would be much harder. When does he turn 12?

 

[capa]

Early next year he turns 12

 

[Ash]

So he'd be 12 by the time a case was finalised, unless you reached a consent order at the first hearing. His wishes would still be taken seriously as "nearly 12" in the early stages, but 12 year olds still need parents.

 

[capa]

So he'd be 12 by the time a case was finalised, unless you reached a consent order at the first hearing. His wishes would still be taken seriously as "nearly 12" in the early stages, but 12 year olds still need parents.

That all depends on the stbx cos as I have restraining order she may well seek support from social or family mediator’s, she twisted the knife during and she will continue

 

[Ash]

You don't know what will happen until you put an application. You simply say, I wish to apply for my 11 year old son to spend time with me every other week-end, a midweek overnight and half the school holidays, as he has not seen me since x date. He is already having to adjust to his parents divorcing, during his first year at secondary school and the loss of his Father as well will impact upon him. I have spoken to him and believe he wishes to spend time with me very much. I am unable to discuss the matter with Mrs Ex as she took out a non molestation order after I went back to the house after separation, and unfortunately I was inebriated and went to sleep in the spare room. This was a one off incident and I believe my son still needs both his parents, especially as he approaches his teen years where a Father in his life can be a big support and a rock for him.

 

[capa]

You don't know what will happen until you put an application. You simply say, I wish to apply for my 11 year old son to spend time with me every other week-end, a midweek overnight and half the school holidays, as he has not seen me since x date. He is already having to adjust to his parents divorcing, during his first year at secondary school and the loss of his Father as well will impact upon him. I have spoken to him and believe he wishes to spend time with me very much. I am unable to discuss the matter with Mrs Ex as she took out a non molestation order after I went back to the house after separation, and unfortunately I was inebriated and went to sleep in the spare room. This was a one off incident and I believe my son still needs both his parents, especially as he approaches his teen years where a Father in his life can be a big support and a rock for him.

Wow , that’s very appreciated, regarding child arrangement order where do I start with this ? Through social services or is it just a form to fill out?

 

[capa]

I don’t have a non molestation order I have a restraint order which states only solicitor can contact stbx regarding matrimonial and child care arrangements, so voluntarily seeking a child arrangement order by myself could be deemed as a breach, could it not?

 

[capa]

1st letter ready to be sent for approval by me tomorrow, finally the process will start. Solicitor has stated 14 days to reply otherwise mediation will be triggered the big event will be if stbx agrees to voluntary disclosure, which by past comments she will refuse, therefore onto court then she will have no choice , however she could surprise with her response, all eventualities have been looked into by myself so I am prepared for whatever the response will be. The same said for child arrangements

 

[capa]

So got the 1st letter draft, some amendments to be made but overall I’m happy with the main content, now once it’s finalised and sent, will have to wait and see what stbx response will be, already anticipating her response and definitely see a complete smash and grab regarding finances

 

[MagicJ]

@capa, that is a definite, I'm seeing that now, good that you're anticipating & working to the worst case scenario.

 

[capa]

Truth be told , I e done so much homework regarding what she can get from UC what she would lose , what she can apply for, even to the point I know what road she tries to go down will potentially make her homeless, ok not ideal cos that will impact my son, however she don’t engage or meet halfway that’s the end result, harsh maybe but I have surprises awaiting which she will not think I would do in a million years and yes to benefit her

 

[capa]

Whether im right or wrong to assume this , as said before my ex made my son the sole person impacted in the victim impact statement report and after finally been able to access my sons high school portal, which i was extremely happy about as i am 1st contact and down as primary carer along with his mom, it seems the impact statement claiming son was traumatized etc well it turns out hes doing very very well in school , no negative reports , no issues , no detentions no missed days etc, so wheres the impact and longevity of the event that happened? there appears to be none. Just a case of the stbx culminating and weaponizing my son for her gain knowing it will hurt and impact me deeply. This observation will be passed onto my defence lawyer as part of my appeal to the sentencing i got, live for hope yes i do

 

[capa]

Not much to report back yet however, one question.....

If a mesher order has not been put in place by stbx then i state i want to sell, can she submit one then or is there a legal conflict cos she now knows i want to sell so waited until after i said thats what i want to do

 

[MagicJ]

HI Capa,

One of the first actions a solicitor usually takes is to put a STOP SALE order on the house w/r to action in the Family Courts.
This prevents ANY PARTY from selling the house without a COURT ORDER to specifically allow the sale.

It is usually used by the spouse who has no where else to go & using the basis that it is for the benefit of the children.
So I'm not sure how far you will get, irrespective of whether a MESHER order is agreed or not.

Thanks

 

[capa]

The end goal is to sell , but there are other factors attached to this

 

[capa]

OK all, the process has finally, began, my solicitor itor has sent out financial and childcare letters with thr option to sort and agree this voluntarily without court involvement, there is a 14 day schedule for stbx to reply , am I confident of that happening,NO, I truly expect a delay cos " I couldn't get a solicitor appointment " when stbx stated several times , see my solicitor , yeah right. Also, unfortunately, the text contact with my som has dried up no message since last Friday, either a form of alienation been promoted or he's had a new phone and number and not sharing ,although texts I send are been delivered. This is the bit that's hurting me the most, I love my son and did have a fantastic relationship.
However let's wait and see what happens in the next two weeks

 

[Ash]

More importantly, your son will also be stressed about this contact with you being cut off. Did you submit the C100 for a child arrangements order?

 

[capa]

More importantly, your son will also be stressed about this contact with you being cut off. Did you submit the C100 for a child arrangements order?

C100 hasn’t been done yet, I’m awaiting the response from stbx and whether her stance if ‘ I want him to have contact with his son’ is still as true as it was or was just words. If it can be done and sorted voluntarily then I’m ok with it, however any resistance from stbx then I will push for CAO or interim order so the relationship can be built up slowly

 

[capa]

I need some advice help call it what you will, I no doubtedly will need MIAM for the finances as I see this going to court, what di I need to look for ? What if anything specific do I need to look for ask and more importantly how do I do this and of course approximate cost, thanks in advance

Oh also as I'm still waiting for stbx responce to financial agreement I want to make sure I'm first in line

 

[Ash]

C100 hasn’t been done yet, I’m awaiting the response from stbx and whether her stance if ‘ I want him to have contact with his son’ is still as true as it was or was just words. If it can be done and sorted voluntarily then I’m ok with it, however any resistance from stbx then I will push for CAO or interim order so the relationship can be built up slowly

My only concern is the court may wonder why you waited so long or think you weren’t too bothered about seeing your son.