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Because of the stupid mess I got myself Into is basically the reason, I wasn't in the right state mentally to start this,however as said I see it going this way, to the courts
 
Is there any reason you couldn’t just submit the C100 anyway? The financials could drag on a bit.
 
That's what I'm asking ,well the finance part first well everything that's encompasses miam as the starting point, the c100 though cos I do have contact with son albeit via text,he has said he wants to see me however I'm fearful now the letters have arrived to stbx I'm concerned there maybe some alienation at play as I have to ask son if he wants to see me and that topic goes cold,especially after I reminded him of the day out we had planned

So yes I am asking advice regarding miam especially for finances and any other for child arrangements
 
Morning, next update, as of yet no response from stbx after receiving letter from solicitor 14days ago, hard copy delivered Saturday just gone. Next step, Contact my solicitor Initiate c100 or interim order and financial order, form E looks abit scary but sure I can muddle through it
 
Hi @capa ,

The form E wasn't very complicated, it takes a bit of time to gather the details and pull them together from various sources.

If you work through the form and as you gather the documents, name them as you please BUT prefix them with the form section number this indexing will save some cost from your Solicitor.

The other point to note is that when Form E's are submitted this locks down the parameters against which your negotiations will take place, so it's important to ensure you've had the implications properly advised to you by the Solicitor.

A final point, don't assume it will be plain sailing, as when the questions come back they're entitled to ask whatever they want and a lot of it can be a distraction, just to waste time or it can be to paint a particular picture - so be prepared and don't let them off the hook with questions because you're a good lad and you don't want to question anything.

Hope that's useful in some way!
 
3 weeks this Thursday and no response from stbx regarding financial or child care,I suspect she is playing ignorant and playing for time, claiming I didn't see email, however she signed for the hard copy 2 wks ago
 
Another update, letter sent to stbx to ve delivered today regarding a day out with my son,there has still been no responses from previous letters,however I'm now in the position or thought process of stopping paying the household bills which I have done since February, stbx has lived a life of rent free and bill free since then, now the problem I have is as soon as these bills stop I believe cms will come Into play, now the calculated amount from cms is only slightly less than the total of the bills, so I will be in same position, I'm still paying mortgage,as its in my name only,so there's no issue there. I'm really struggling to find the best course of action here, as I said no response regarding financial or child arrangements.advice appreciated

On another topic, due to me been on an order I cannot go into my own house so therfore,if no mesher is in place I can't even arrange an estate agent to go get a valuation as I believe she is in a position where she don't have to let them in, is this correct?
 
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I think she will definitely stop you seeing your son if you stop paying the household bills. Perhaps the way to do it is - keep paying for now, ask the CMS for an assessment. They will contact the ex to see if she agrees to an assessment. If she says yes, they do the assessment and send it to both of you, saying how much you have to pay monthly. You then write politely to ex saying that in future you will transfer x amount a month CMS to her bank account, instead of paying the bills directly. If you make the amount the same as now (ie slightly more than the CMS) then she can't complain.

If she says no she doesn't want an assessment then the CMS are likely to tell you you don't have to pay anything. So then you're back to the same situation as now. Whether to keep paying the bills or not.

Alternatively, if you think hearing from the CMS might make her go nuclear, you could just

1) Set up a monthly standing order instead of paying the bills with the reference Child Maintenance (to prove that's what it's for if needed).
2) Message the ex politely and say that instead of paying the bills directly, you are transferring x amount monthly, as child maintenance, out of which she can pay the bills.
3) The ask CMS for an assessment - and she'll see she's getting slightly more than the CMS assessment.

However timing is the thing. You're still not getting to see your son and until you're in a position to be able to see him without her stopping it, you risk rocking the boat even more by changing the financial situation.

Once you have a child arrangements order, you have more power to change the financial situation and she can't stop your son seeing you or she'd be in breach of the order.
 
I can't communicate with the stbx, it all has to be done via solicitor cos of restraining order and is not responding to any letters, therefore transferring money to her is a no no, going for assessment seems to be the only option.

I pay all bills and mortgage, she has all her money to herself, I need to rebuild my life ,get my own place etc.

The only contact I have with son is by text anyway

The solicitor has sent letters regarding financial and chold arrangements and is not responding, I have a trip with son planned for Friday and no response even from letter sent on Monday, which is next day signed
 
Sorry I forgot you can't communicate with her. Sounds like you'd need to get a solicitor's letter sent, saying you are seeking a CMS assessment to pay the money to her via the CMS, rather than paying the bills directly.

I think you need to submit a C100 regarding your son.
 
Even me transferring money to her bank account from mine is a breach of my order.

The letter regarding child arrangement was to try and do amicably and voluntarily yet I'm weary her response will be I want you to have him on theses days which I know will be loaded in her favour so she can have her date nights etc and when I dispute those days her response will be ,you don't care that much then if you don't agree, I see it, am prepared for it
 
I hope you get to see him on Friday. If you use CMS you don't have to transfer money to her bank account - the CMS take it from yours and pay it into hers. They charge a bit extra to do this service.
 
That seems a lot. I thought it used to be 6%
 
That's what it stated this morning when I went through the calculator online
 
You're correct - it's on here. Well if your ex is going to get 4% less she might be inclined to ask for it to be paid direct! Is there a time limit on this injunction not to contact her?

 
You're correct - it's on here. Well if your ex is going to get 4% less she might be inclined to ask for it to be paid direct!
I will not be able to pay her direct as this is a breach of order, indirect contact and that was confirmed by solicitor, the only way is for her to apply for a addition to order to allow this.
 
So, trip with son happened, first time I'd seen him in 6 months, and boy it was emotional, no awkwardness, it was like we just picked up from where we left off, we talked briefly about the event that happened, I apologised for any hurt it caused him as it wasn't meant to happen ,although judging from yday there was was no signs that all this has impacted him at all as the stbx has claimed.

Next Thursday is the end of the 14 working days to respond , based on her receiving the hard copy letter and ignoring the email sent the week before.

Expectation, she will refuse voluntary disclosure and request a 3rd party to act as go between, but alas, the order will not allow this. Clearly states financial and child care HAS to be done via solicitors.
 
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