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daughters school report is shocking - After mom said shes doing so well since not seeing me

Resolute said:
I am not sure the court was deciding who/what they do or do not believe.

I fear the decision was simply, this is not our problem.

I hope and believe there will be a way of finding peace with your daughter as she becomes an adult.
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Ill do my best , its had a massive effect on me, basically being ghosted by my own daughter
 
You know that your ex has put her up to it and your ex is trying to make you angry with your daughter - that way she achieves her objective - to bust you both up. So don't feel angry at your daughter - it's exactly what your ex wants. That's how alienators work - make the parent angry so it helps the child reject them. Otherwise known as a set up. You can imagine the kind of things your ex will have said - your Dad is taking me to court because he wants to control you - your Dad has made me upset and worried - you have to tell them all the bad things he's ever done to protect me.

That kind of thing. On top of that it may well have been written under duress. Your daughter is off school a lot - that suggests life with Mum isn't that happy.

It must have been an unpleasant read, but if it was an email you don't even know your daughter wrote it - your ex could have written it based on snippets of info she knew. It sounds like the kind of thing an ex would say rather than a daughter.

So your daughter is still in there. But she has no power at the moment. That might change. And she may well get sick of being stuck with her Mother full time - especially when she wants more freedom.

You will have to keep paying child support as well unfortunately.

Try and have hope - things sometimes turn out unexpectedly. Your ex might slip up and your daughter want to come and live with you at some point.
 
Ash said:
It must have been an unpleasant read, but if it was an email you don't even know your daughter wrote it - your ex could have written it based on snippets of info she knew. It sounds like the kind of thing an ex would say rather than a daughter.
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it was hilarious how the judge said "shes written such a heartfelt statement" I was like A child hasn't wrote that!

it was just full of how bad my character flaws are, no ambivalence whatsoever. I told the court room this should be setting alarm bells off in their heads but I could tell it went straight over there heads

"Daughter finished her statement with "Ive tried so hard with my dad but all I got in return is emotional blackmail"

You coudnt make this nonsense up, it was just 2 pages of how much a victim she is when shes in my company.

also because I posted court letters through her nans letterbox "her nan had to see the doctor due to me making her nervous"
 
This does all sound like your ex. And who told your daughter that court letters made her Nan nervous? I'm surprised they allowed a hearing without your ex present but the attitude does seem to be - this isn't a court issue now due to her age.
 
Ash said:
This does all sound like your ex. And who told your daughter that court letters made her Nan nervous? I'm surprised they allowed a hearing without your ex present but the attitude does seem to be - this isn't a court issue now due to her age.
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exactly, they elevate the daughter to adult chat
 
Another thing her mother will be doing is rewarding your daughter for rejecting you.
She'll elevate her to a level of feeling important.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really tough being rejected by your child.
 
Peanut 21 said:
Another thing her mother will be doing is rewarding your daughter for rejecting you.
She'll elevate her to a level of feeling important.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really tough being rejected by your child.
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shes been purchased the most insane gifts in a short period of time, also the school issues where she lets her have free will

youre right
 
I don't think she is rejecting you, deep down. She is being controlled. She will start thinking more for herself in the next year or so hopefully. She knows you're out there.
 
Ash said:
I don't think she is rejecting you, deep down. She is being controlled. She will start thinking more for herself in the next year or so hopefully. She knows you're out there.
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Its like you said mom wants me to be angry with her, deep down Im full of betrayal, Ill never believe a word she says even if she did come back.

Its seriously affected my parents aswell, as shes cut them off
 
You see you're blaming your daughter already - which is what your ex wants you to think. Just believe in your daughter.
 
Alocacoc said:
Its like you said mom wants me to be angry with her, deep down Im full of betrayal, Ill never believe a word she says even if she did come back.

Its seriously affected my parents aswell, as shes cut them off
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But it is a form of betrayal, even if it's not your daughters fault.
As long as it's never aimed at your daughter I think it's a release to express your feelings of betrayal and disrespect on this forum.
 
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