daughters school report is shocking - After mom said shes doing so well since not seeing me

[Alocacoc]

Morning Ive got my enforcement order on the 6th of March

Since been able to log onto the Arbor App

my daughters all round school report is shocking, her mom is clearly playing the best friend card

56% attendance last 4 weeks. 80% attendance over all

predicted grades no higher than C/. my daughter is and was a star pupil

Detention every 3 days over some misdemeanour,

4 Unauthorised abscences

clearly and suddenly has no respect for authority seems very entitled on her reports

Im absolutely furious, surely the judge needs to see this

mom told cafcass woman - "shes doing so well since not seeing me" cafcass woman fell for it hook line and sinker

 

[Resolute]

It must have been sickening to get this information.

I imagine your ex would say that you are the root cause of difficulties and your daughter has been much better in herself since she stopped seeing you. She could claim that things would have been much worse if your daughter continued seeing you.

I think it would be good to have the better results and behaviour, from before, to contrast with recent poor performance.

Do you have an application in progress separate from the enforcement?

I would think carefully about the best time and way to use evidence from the school.

 

[Alocacoc]

It must have been sickening to get this information.

I imagine your ex would say that you are the root cause of difficulties and your daughter has been much better in herself since she stopped seeing you. She could claim that things would have been much worse if your daughter continued seeing you.

I think it would be good to have the better results and behaviour, from before, to contrast with recent poor performance.

Do you have an application in progress separate from the enforcement?

I would think carefully about the best time and way to use evidence from the school.

I just have an enforcement order and a totally inept flawed cafcass report

her predicted grades are 4 out of 9, when I was present I have evidence that she averaged 5-6 out of 9

I also have evidence there was no detentions, and now she has a stream of them

she also suddenly has no respect for people in authority or respects peoples boundaries

what do you suggest I do? this needs a total residential change imho so i can rescue this girls future

 

[Resolute]

I am not sure what to suggest.

I thought the enforcement might be of an interim order with a C100 application going on already.

Maybe you could make a C2 application before the 6th of March and use that hearing to apply for your daughter to live with both parents. It would still be an enforcement hearing as well.

 

[Alocacoc]

I am not sure what to suggest.

I thought the enforcement might be of an interim order with a C100 application going on already.

Maybe you could make a C2 application before the 6th of March and use that hearing to apply for your daughter to live with both parents. It would still be an enforcement hearing as well.

ok great i will look into it right away thank you

 

[Resolute]

The C2 would kick off another process to run on from your enforcement hearing if it is accepted. A decision would still be needed on how and when evidence from the school is best used.

 

[Ash]

I'm wondering if he could use the school evidence as part of the enforcement application? Because if the enforcement hearing doesn't go well and they accept the Cafcass S7 view, then presumably an application to vary would be cancelled? You could actually put in a C2 on the day for application to vary also I think.

 

[Resolute]

I'm wondering if he could use the school evidence as part of the enforcement application? Because if the enforcement hearing doesn't go well and they accept the Cafcass S7 view, then presumably an application to vary would be cancelled? You could actually put in a C2 on the day for application to vary also I think.

I was thinking not to sacrifice the school evidence at the first hearing. Perhaps indicate the issue and use it as a carrot for continuation. Something like 'I am really concerned about what Cafcass have missed. There is evidence that needs to be considered. Our daughter has not been doing well recently. This cannot all be dealt with today. I only recently realised how bad things have been since she stopped having time with me.'

I am worried that if the evidence is spent at an enforcement hearing. It won't be properly considered. But, will be seen as already dealt with following the hearing.

My ex used promises of evidence to tie the courts hands.

I think the daughter is 15. Age might limit options.

Edit
They did a S7 for the enforcement hearing? S7 should have picked up trouble at school. Asking for S7 update/addendum might be a good idea. I assumed S7 had not been done and might result from C2.

 

[Ash]

Yes they did a Section 7. Asking for a section 7 addendum could be an option. I think things might drag on a long time with an application to vary as well and then the court wouldn't order anything anyway. Is she 15 now Alocacoc? If so she could actually just come and live with you of her own accord and talk to who she wants and do what she wants.

It could be an option to focus a position statement on concerns for his daughter in the light of recent information, which Cafcass seemed to be unaware of, that she is failing badly at school, absent a lot of the time and her grades have dropped dramatically since x date and you think this is related to the stress of being cut off from you. Her education is important and you feel she really needs the support of both parents during this crucial time of her GCSE's. And you ask that the court enforce the order.

To be honest I don't think the court will do anything if she's 15. I think they will follow the Cafcass recommendation and say she can decide for herself.

 

[Ash]

I'm also wondering if it might be an idea for you to write to the school. Maybe something like this - addressed to the Headteacher and marked Private and Confidential (but email it to the office and put FAO of Headteacher - private and confidential).

Dear Mr/Mrs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Re My daughter xxxxxxxxxxxxx Year 10 (or Year 11 or whatever)

I am writing as I have recently seen that my daughter has had significant absence from school recently and her grades have reduced significantly. Currently there is a court application in progress with the family court, as Mrs Ex is no longer complying with the Child Arrangements order and xxxxxxxxxx has been kept from seeing me. I have not seen her since x date. Obviously this is an extremely stressful time for myself and my family, but it is no doubt also stressful for my daughter and it would appear to be affecting her performance at school also.

I would be grateful for any support you can offer my daughter at this time and also if you could let me know if you have any concerns.

Both her Mother and I have parental responsibility and there is a Child Arrangements order dated x date which sets out when she would normally be with each parent.

Please feel free to contact me at any time. My address and phone number are at the end of this email.

Yours sincerely, Your Name.

 

[Ash]

I've suggested that to keep it polite and formal and about concerns for your daughter. Avoid the temptation to be negative about your ex or rant about her - keep it professional.

 

[Alocacoc]

They did a S7 for the enforcement hearing? S7 should have picked up trouble at school. Asking for S7 update/addendum might be a good idea. I assumed S7 had not been done and might result from C2.

they did a 3 minute phone call,

thanks for the advice guys, but I dont see why I should not make it clear mom is abusing the child, if it was the other way around the woman wouldnt be cooperative with a male abuser

 

[Ash]

Was it a section 7 then or just a Cafcass initial safeguarding call and letter? Is your daughter 15 now?

 

[Alocacoc]

Was it a section 7 then or just a Cafcass initial safeguarding call and letter? Is your daughter 15 now?

no it was just a phone call, they never came to see me or my property neither did they check my daughters welfare

yes shes 15

 

[Resolute]

they did a 3 minute phone call,

thanks for the advice guys, but I dont see why I should not make it clear mom is abusing the child, if it was the other way around the woman wouldnt be cooperative with a male abuser

Sorry for the impression I have given. It was not my intention to suggest you keep things under wraps and protect or cooperate with your ex.

The point I was trying to make is that you should use the evidence you have in the best way. I'm saying this because I f***ed up myself. I gathered great evidence and presented it well, but at the wrong time.

A section 7 report would pick up evidence from the school. The problem is that by the time a report is done and the final hearing has taken place, your daughter could easily be 16. In which case, the court could not make an order.

The question is not:

Should you use the evidence?

It is:

How can you use the evidence in a way that will make a difference?

Another question:

Will enforcement work for a 15 year old if she says she does not want to see you?

 

[Alocacoc]

Sorry for the impression I have given. It was not my intention to suggest you keep things under wraps and protect or cooperate with your ex.

The point I was trying to make is that you should use the evidence you have in the best way. I'm saying this because I f***ed up myself. I gathered great evidence and presented it well, but at the wrong time.

A section 7 report would pick up evidence from the school. The problem is that by the time a report is done and the final hearing has taken place, your daughter could easily be 16. In which case, the court could not make an order.

The question is not:

Should you use the evidence?

It is:

How can you use the evidence in a way that will make a difference?

Another question:

Will enforcement work for a 15 year old if she says she does not want to see you?

thanks for the reply, I have told the court "this child is not negotiating from a position of free choice, but a position of duress"

mom has been diagnosing her with medical conditions the lot saying Im the antagonist, I have her medical records and she has been diagnosed with nothing.

she even tried to get me arrested for harassment all because I tried to resolve, I mean what is that teaching the kid shes gonna be so warped & entitled with no boundaries for life, its clear shes testing everyone elses authority aswell after I was erased and she was given free will.

Ive added her detention report
1) no detentions in 2021/2022 when I was present
2) 2 Detentions in january when I was present
3) I was erased in May 2023 and her behaviour descends into pure chaos/disrespect for authority

 

[Resolute]

I do not think there are any direct identifiers in your docs. With the name of the app used by school, the dates, the child's age, faculty name...

Is there a risk of being identifiable?

 

[Alocacoc]

1) 2 more detention pics where she has started wagging school, shes been excluded aswell for truancy , one afternoon she was excluded for just the afternoon so dont know whats gone on there
2) her above average expected grades when I was present in April 2023
3) her complete downfall of grades when I ve been erased 6 months, Nov 2023

 

[Alocacoc]

I do not think there are any direct identifiers in your docs. With the name of the app used by school, the dates, the child's age, faculty name...

Is there a risk of being identifiable?

sorry I just screen shotted them, the main page states her name a bit like a forum user

 

[Resolute]

I think you can still edit yourself if you see a need