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Advice What can I do???

Hi all.

Just after a bit of advice if possible.

Thanx to Ash I have a great position statement ready for court next week.

But I wanted to ask your views, the sw will get a copy on the morning which she won’t be happy with as she pretty much told me I need to share it with them in advance this isn’t going to happen. But my question is she will want to speak to me before the hearing as she has each time but tbh I don’t want to have to speak to her as it’s pointless.

So will it be looked at badly if I politely decline if she asks to speak to me?

Or if I should accept how do I handle it since she is not going to be happy when she reads PS not that I care but just to be prepared.

As always any advice and opinions is greatly appreciated
 
Hey @DB2021 don't worry about her reaction, that's on her & water off a ducks back for you.

I'm represented so my Barrister took care of those conversations, I'm not quite sure what happens if you're a LiP hopefully another member who has can share some insight!
 
MagicJ said:
Hey @DB2021 don't worry about her reaction, that's on her & water off a ducks back for you.

I'm represented so my Barrister took care of those conversations, I'm not quite sure what happens if you're a LiP hopefully another member who has can share some insight!
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I’m not worried about her reaction. Everything in the statement is true so she can do and say what she likes 😀.

I guess I just don’t want to get into a conversation with her over it rather just decline speaking with her and let the judge decide.
 
Hi All.

Just wanted some advice if possible.

My little girl has a big assembly at the end of this month who ch I’d like to go to but I’m worried given how the situation is.

On one hand I want to be there supporting her but I’m also worried that if she spots me it will cause a lot of aggro?

Should I hang fire with attending things for now just until everything is sorted out one way or another and also to not put any stress onto my little one?

Or do I turn up and take the risk of it causing issues for me and for little one?
 
I think, with the current situation, and your ex not agreeing to any time with your little girl, it could cause issues. Without an order, she could tell the school to not let you go. I'm guessing you're thinking that, previously, you were criticised (unfairly) for not going to a school nativity play?

The difference then was it was in the interim - and it was still unfair when the order wasn't being followed.

It's a difficult one though.
 
Ash said:
I think, with the current situation, and your ex not agreeing to any time with your little girl, it could cause issues. Without an order, she could tell the school to not let you go. I'm guessing you're thinking that, previously, you were criticised (unfairly) for not going to a school nativity play?

The difference then was it was in the interim - and it was still unfair when the order wasn't being followed.

It's a difficult one though.
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Yeah that’s what I was thinking as I am worried it may cause issue’s especially with my ex fuming about the appeal.

And yes that was part of it but I do want to still go to these things so that my little girl knows I haven’t just gone and not interested if that makes sense.

Maybe it’s best to wait until after appeal bits etc then see what’s what just to be on the safe side
 
You need to make a decision that takes account of your case in the round. In my case the child had limited time with me and my ex acted like I was harassing her any time I breathed. The school was very wary of me because of stories she told.

I have training and experience related to working with violent or abusive behaviour. For the first year or so I acted with this as a guide. Here is part of the strategy I used:

Arrive so early that no parent would be before me in the queue

Scope the venue carefully for entrances and exits

Put myself in a location as visible as possible without there being any way that ex would have to directly pass me on entrance or exit

Leave the venue 5-10 minutes after my ex

Bring a witness wherever possible (my dad)

Book with the school
 
I think with a hearing coming up, I'd be inclined not to go and not create any drama before the hearing. You know you can be criticised either way! Whatever you do or don't do. I'd focus on getting this hearing sorted for now. There will be other events. While there are no NMO's in place, you don't want to trigger one either.
 
Ash said:
I think with a hearing coming up, I'd be inclined not to go and not create any drama before the hearing. You know you can be criticised either way! Whatever you do or don't do. I'd focus on getting this hearing sorted for now. There will be other events. While there are no NMO's in place, you don't want to trigger one either.
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Okay I’ll steer clear for now just to be safe.

I did think of emailing ex and saying I was planning on going and if she had any objections. Also I had already spoke to the school and mentioned being right at the back out the way and leaving as soon as it finished.

As I think my little one seeing me may cause issues but like you say better to air on the side of caution for now until courts sorted etc.
 
I think your ex will not be in a great frame of mind with the hearing coming up. She might ask your daughter (or pretend to) and it might be another rejection if she says no, daughter doesn't want to see you. Which is the essence of what your case is about.
 
Ash said:
I think your ex will not be in a great frame of mind with the hearing coming up. She might ask your daughter (or pretend to) and it might be another rejection if she says no, daughter doesn't want to see you. Which is the essence of what your case is about.
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Yeah good point actually guaranteed ex would tell little one to make sure there was an issue if I did turn up. Didn’t even think of that.

Thanx Ash I’ll stay away for now and just continue to send cards every couple of weeks
 
Morning all.

So I’m less than a week away from my Permission to appeal hearing in front of the same judge who pretty much cut me out my little girls life.

I’m not sure what I’m really asking for here but I’m just hoping for advice really.

Mainly of how to deal with any questions this judge is likely to ask i.e “why are you trying to appeal”

I don’t really want to speak much at all other than asking for permission to appeal but I’m also worried that if I stay to quiet it may be looked at wrongly by another judge if he does reject my request.

I can’t take anyone with me sadly so I’ll be doing it alone again.

The closer it gets the higher my anxiety goes but I also know that it’s just another step in the process that we as fathers have to fight through each and every day
 
He can either give you permission to appeal or he can refuse to give you permission to appeal. So I'm not sure you really need to answer any questions - he knows what happened at the last hearing and he's seen your appeal paperwork. He's probably already made his mind up whether he's going to give permission or not. I hope it's a quick hearing and don't let him make you feel bad for appealing.

Whether he gives permission or not, you are still appealing - it just goes to a different court for the appeal so it doesn't really matter what he does. It's just a case of getting through a hearing. None of us know who is going to say what but we are all within our rights to say very little if we wish to. Or just repeat "I'd like permission to appeal please".
 
Hi all.

Just wanted to update you all had my permission to appeal hearing today.

Went in and wasn’t original judge same rank as they say but a different one to be told he has no idea why the hearing was listed in front of him as he doesn’t have the authority to rule on it 🤦‍♂️.

He apologised and said it should have been listed in front of the Judge who sent out the hearing paperwork so god knows what has happened with the courts.

But a huge plus it won’t be heard by the arsehole I had previously which is the biggest relief just means more delay and to wait for another hearing date to get permission fingers crossed.

I’m court for no more than a minute so whilst a waste of time actually a huge amount of positives have come from it and I’m feeling bloody great actually.
 
Technically, a more senior Judge could just give permission to appeal from seeing the paperwork. Now your ex sent a submission, maybe that will happen. Then you basically get an appeal hearing.
 
Ash said:
Technically, a more senior Judge could just give permission to appeal from seeing the paperwork. Now your ex sent a submission, maybe that will happen. Then you basically get an appeal hearing.
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Yeah I thought that as when I looked into things it usually says a permission to appeal hearing is not listed as a attended one and they don’t ask for oral submissions so as you say the judge looking at everything decides from the paperwork.

All confusing to me tbh.

Judge today did say the next hearing would be a permission to appeal hearing but I wonder if he wasn’t able to say much other than what he did
 
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Sounds like a real lot of messing about. Your application has been all over the place.
 
Ash said:
Sounds like a real lot of messing about. Your application has been all over the place.
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Hasn’t it just but I’m hoping that because it’s now been put before the senior judge, things will move forward and I’ll be giving a fair chance.

I just can’t see the senior judge making the mistake of putting it infront of the wrong judge surely she will have known it should have been her.

Definitely makes me wonder if things have been going on in the background
 
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DB2021 said:
Hasn’t it just but I’m hoping that because it’s now been put before the senior judge, things will move forward and I’ll be giving a fair chance.

I just can’t see the senior judge making the mistake of putting it infront of the wrong judge surely she will have known it should have been her.

Definitely makes me wonder if things have been going on in the background
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Hey @DB2021 glad to hear there is an opportunity to move things forward in a positive direction, I really hope this works out.

Just for your reference, the actual scheduling and allocation of Judges to hearings is carried out by court admin staff, inline with any parameters set during the hearing.

It is likely the person who allocated this judge either didn't read or understand the order correctly or, more likely, they've had to shuffle judges about due to absences and shortages and so the wrong level of judge was assigned.

Either way it's a blunder by the court!
 
It was confusing magic. It went to a higher level Judge who said before the appeal could be heard, another hearing had to take place with the original Judge for permission to appeal. Then he was told - no the permission needs to be heard by a higher Judge!

From what I've read, often permission is granted just from reading the papers and an appeal hearing then listed. Fingers crossed this is what happens.
 
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