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Hi Jafranks.@DB2021 - also has there never been an option for contact centre visits? Or has that already happened? Couldn’t see anything about this. Maybe you’ve been there and done it
It is it’s the worst situation I’ve ever been put in and to be treated with such contempt by the sw and the judge at 2 hearings nearly broke me.That is horrendous. It really is.
No child of that age can ever express, think and verbalise such things. My boy is three shortly and to think of your situation from someone just a little older is just completely unthinkable.
Yet it’s the judge and social worker who have contributed to this, massively. It is shocking.
Get yourself going again. Be kind on yourself for sure because this isn’t you - I’m no hippy or spiritual guy but you don’t have anything to beat yourself up about. Use this energy and grief to stand up to court (in the right way).
A contact centre (albeit you’re going backwards in that sense of what you’ve had) is the least they should give you. I spent too long doing this, but. They are recognised contributors in their crappy system. They don’t do anything except observe and write reports of your time together. That’s all they do. It is again shocking that this is not being used in your situation.
as I said you need a new judge. Yours was not capable of doing his job correctly. You’ll get a new judge at your appeal hearing
I have felt broken for a long time but my little girl always keeps me going no matter how badly I’m treated by the system. I know deep down she’s pleasing mum and being manipulated to see her partner as dad now it’s obvious but they will never kill my resolve. I have moments like Tuesday that I nearly buckle but very quickly I bounce back because I know that’s what my daughter needs.Those paragraphs make me feel how I felt in my proceedings. Sick and broken. I applied to court and looked to the court for fairness, resolution and progression - because that’s what I believed a court will do - it’s not for us. Now I know better. I gave up mate, I asked the judge to stop the proceedings as I was hurt. I then got that used against me as if I didn’t want my boy anymore. I’m not saying that is option. I was done and out of it for the reasons you’ve said last week, it’s better for your daughter to not continue it too.
I try now and not be a total hater of court, Cafcass, the mother of my child (who now I am polite with for the sake of my boy and our time together). But don’t really want to be that hate guy personally and what I’ve had to go through for nearly three years… But in your situation as with mine. If you keep going you will (however long it takes and how much you put in) you will benefit and you know that you’ve done everything for your daughter to keep seeing you. Time will pass and you will be with your daughter correctly and rightfully.
Don’t give up. Keep pushing. You might be totally numb but let’s see what your appeal does.
I’ll leave this here for now. It’s easy for me to message about this and that because of what I have now. I have my boy. But believe me I didn’t have him for a long time. I did the appeal and I won. With help from here. As I said in another post elsewhere I wouldn’t have what I have now if it wasn’t for this forum.
If you want to message me for anything I’m here. I look everyday or every few.
Makes you sick to your stomach doesn’t it that a loving father can be discarded with such ease.It is just a horrendous court order that totally tramples on your right to family life. The judge failed on all levels. An appeal surely must be granted. Im not sure if you know of BAILII it has hundreds of family court cases including appeals. Im sure there must be some cases that mirror yours and can be used as legal precedent.
Ahhh okay apologies ash.Glad your appeal is in I deleted the order wording but we get the gist.
This is the positive post another forum user was looking for the other dayThose paragraphs make me feel how I felt in my proceedings. Sick and broken. I applied to court and looked to the court for fairness, resolution and progression - because that’s what I believed a court will do - it’s not for us. Now I know better. I gave up mate, I asked the judge to stop the proceedings as I was hurt. I then got that used against me as if I didn’t want my boy anymore. I’m not saying that is option. I was done and out of it for the reasons you’ve said last week, it’s better for your daughter to not continue it too.
I try now and not be a total hater of court, Cafcass, the mother of my child (who now I am polite with for the sake of my boy and our time together). But don’t really want to be that hate guy personally and what I’ve had to go through for nearly three years… But in your situation as with mine. If you keep going you will (however long it takes and how much you put in) you will benefit and you know that you’ve done everything for your daughter to keep seeing you. Time will pass and you will be with your daughter correctly and rightfully.
Don’t give up. Keep pushing. You might be totally numb but let’s see what your appeal does.
I’ll leave this here for now. It’s easy for me to message about this and that because of what I have now. I have my boy. But believe me I didn’t have him for a long time. I did the appeal and I won. With help from here. As I said in another post elsewhere I wouldn’t have what I have now if it wasn’t for this forum.
If you want to message me for anything I’m here. I look everyday or every few.
Ohhh the anger I have is something else but I won’t ever show them it. I know that’s what they want you to do and I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. I’m a respectful guy and no matter how badly they treat me I won’t react badly.I'll just add to that view - that no you don't have to be a hater, but sometimes getting angry about the injustice can help - I don't mean go round being angry with court people, that wouldn't be good - I mean feel angry instead of powerless and channel that anger into trying the next thing and not giving up. I think many of us have been at a point where we nearly gave up. But - and this is to jafranks and DB - you didn't give up. You licked your wounds after the battle and got up to fight another day. I've been there too. When something feels wrong, it is wrong, and we have to tell people it's wrong to get heard.
What is the most galling is that we have to keep spending money and paying fees because of inadequate court processes and professionals - to get things put right.