It begins

[capa]

There's an expectation in the back of my mind that once the stbx receives the appointment date that she will finally come to the table after months of ignoring requests from solicitors and want agreement agreed prior to 1st hearing, yes it would help but there would be stringent clauses attached to any agreement however, is it possible to cancel or withdraw the FDA if this happens?

I e been reading and researching these next two stages and I'm reasonably Intelligent in understanding yet stbx, this will scare her, she now has to get solicitor involved unless she goes LIP but she hasn't the capacity to do that,hence why I think she will reach out and want it done without court. Am I wrong g in that line of thinking, I know stbx and she will not want me finding out what she been spending money on, I already have questio s in anticipation of her form E, if it gets to there

 

[MagicJ]

There's an expectation in the back of my mind that once the stbx receives the appointment date that she will finally come to the table after months of ignoring requests from solicitors and want agreement agreed prior to 1st hearing, yes it would help but there would be stringent clauses attached to any agreement however, is it possible to cancel or withdraw the FDA if this happens?

I e been reading and researching these next two stages and I'm reasonably Intelligent in understanding yet stbx, this will scare her, she now has to get solicitor involved unless she goes LIP but she hasn't the capacity to do that,hence why I think she will reach out and want it done without court. Am I wrong g in that line of thinking, I know stbx and she will not want me finding out what she been spending money on, I already have questio s in anticipation of her form E, if it gets to there

At any point, any family court proceedings can be ended, whether Childcare Act or Financial Remedy, by both parties submitted a consented & signed agreement to the court who will ratify & seal the order then vacate the hearing dates.

On your point about STBX, whilst good to strategise & put in place actions for every outcome, most acrimonious divorces don't follow logical paths.
I wouldn't be surprised if her reaction isn't instead as you suggested to lawyer up & try and prevent any information getting out.

It will come down to how much money she has available to proceed down a legal defense route.

 

[capa]

It will come down to how much money she has available to proceed down a legal defense route.

Answer to that is none as far as I'm aware, it would mean a loan or legal aid route which I'm not sure if she would qualify

 

[MagicJ]

I hope & pray that she looks at it sensibly then & as you suggested comes to the table to work it out.

Best wishes to you on this journey @capa !

 

[capa]

The next week or two will determine that once the letter lands from the court, I'm optimistic but prepared for a long hard delayed process

 

[Daddy]

There's an expectation in the back of my mind that once the stbx receives the appointment date that she will finally come to the table after months of ignoring requests from solicitors and want agreement agreed prior to 1st hearing, yes it would help but there would be stringent clauses attached to any agreement however, is it possible to cancel or withdraw the FDA if this happens?

I e been reading and researching these next two stages and I'm reasonably Intelligent in understanding yet stbx, this will scare her, she now has to get solicitor involved unless she goes LIP but she hasn't the capacity to do that,hence why I think she will reach out and want it done without court. Am I wrong g in that line of thinking, I know stbx and she will not want me finding out what she been spending money on, I already have questio s in anticipation of her form E, if it gets to there

I think if you both agree, then you can use the FDA as an FDR. But I wouldn't withdraw the FDA because the other side could then refuse to cooperate and you are back to square 1.
As MagicJ says, you can both decide to come to an agreement at any point, you could even do mediation. But by starting financial proceedings you start the clock ticking, so if you fail to agree at FDA and FDR, then the court will decide at a final hearing.
It took me 12 months from application to FDR (where to my surprise we settled). I imagine it would have been another 6 months from FDR to final hearing.

 

[capa]

A little help please, I've received a list of barristers to pi k for my first appointment, now they all specialise in children law private and public but this is a financial court case and only two specialise in family finance, dies this matter, most of them were called to the bar within the last 6 years only 2 at beginning of 2000 and they don't specialise in the finance, does this matter?

 

[MagicJ]

Assume it's for the FDA.

It will be dependent on the gap between you both in terms of differences on view between the different needs/assets/issues.
If there are no differences & the Solicitors can agree it then you can vacate the FDA altogether & save costs.

In my case it was contentious & I ended up with a 20 year call Barrister who was Finance only and well experienced - couldn't have done it without.
Even so, I still felt slightly let down in certain aspects when we were in court.

So bottom line is, try & reach agreement, if contentious go for experienced, otherwise a basic Barrister is okay

 

[capa]

Another question has anyone on the forum dealt with any barristers from St Ives Chambers in Birmingham?

 

[Ash]

If anyone has, can you send capa a private message please and not post it on the forum. Thank you.

 

[capa]

Thanks Ash, forgot to mention that

 

[capa]

Another update, I've heard via solicitor that after months and months of no response from the letters my stbx called my solicitor requesting a call back which my solicitor did...twice, however stbx did not answer, now, solicitor is advising to send her the letters via a server to be signed for. This needs to be cleared with my barrister, however any advice? Should I go down this route? If stbx does not accept will it strengthen my case of her not been responsive and incommunicado. Or is there no point me doing it as the last two letters were returned back to solicitor which means stbx never opened door or went to PO to collect, do i waste money with a server?Thanks in advance

 

[capa]

Finally an update worth sharing, so my stbx after months of not replying or communicating co tacted my solicitor, where she admitted she can't afford a solicitor as she can't afford it, really, an average income with UC and CB OF 1500-1600K per month th and no household bills or mortgage to pay. So she was advised to seek a legal aid solicitor,now is there any instance in this at the forst hearing that I will have to pay for her representation or court costs? Even if its a legal aid solicitor?
On a side note too, I can see the game she's playing, as she admitted to my solicitor that she's scared of me and my son has said he is terrified of me and don't want to see me, well, tell that to the messages me and my son have been exchanging since Xmas, it appears a State of desperation as the financial order has caught her out and backed her Into a corner.
My only concern is that her form e is going to be lacking all the detail mine has and when exchanged I'll be chasing the gaps and documents whereas she will have a lead on mine as it is detailed as much as I can possibly do.

Also, if I do have to pay her solicitor and costs can this be done from sale of house if it happens? And what happens if a house sale is not agreed?

 

[capa]

Another update,so one week past deadline for Form E, and still no form E submitted by stbx, still no response from solicitors requesting a date for exchange actually no response at all, except from 4 weeks ago when solicitor outlined what's required and the potential co sequences of not abiding to deadlines so now there me thinking and please if anyone has experienced this I'd like to hear how and what happened.

So I'm thinking with 3 weeks to first hearing
1. Stbx does not submit Form E, what happens? Is court vacated to allow more time?

2.Stbx submits Form e day before ,therefore no time to Interogate said Form e, what happens on this occasion? Vacated again?

3.if its vacated what powers does the judge have to lay at her door if any of the above happen or dare I say it Form e isn't even done.

4. Is there anything I can do legally so any of the above happen before first hearing?

Clearly stbx has no regard for authority and I know this from all those years but quick enough to put me to the ground with police.

Again any advice or opinions greatly appreciated.

 

[capa]

Quick update

Solicitor has reached the same thoughts as me that stbx will not show up at our first court hearing in 3 weeks and in her words my ex has buried her head in the sand. No response to emails,letters and phone calls and voicemail. The nature of the contact, Is your for E ready for exchange? think we have both resigned ourselves to the fact stbx probably hasn't done it and thus will not attend the hearing. How can you negotiate with someone who is that unreasonable, especially when this is about securing firstly the needs of my son , this isn't about me wanting the lions share, ive conceded that isn't going to happen. Remarkably, im calm, as i know i have kept to all deadlines set, sent in all information that was required and hopefully the judge will recognise that when compared to stbx.

 

[capa]

Today is deadline day set by solicitor for stbx, to confirm form E and supporting documentation is ready to exchange, if not my solicitor will be applying for wasted court costs and for a penal notice to be submitted for contempt of court if there's no reply or exchange.

 

[Dirge]

I was in similar situation with my stbx. She ignored court timetable and when we did finally get to exchange, her disclosure was full of holes. There were no consequences for her. Hope it goes smoothly for you.

 

[Jumper85]

That's my experience too. I didn't choose to use a solicitor, I was LIP but applied straight to the court for hearings. The ex didn't exchange all financial disclosure within the set timescales by the courts but the court didn't care, they received what they needed before the hearing (despite the gaps) and we were able to proceed with the hearing. I find solicitors are a drain on finances, I can only assume these continuous letters are costing you a small fortune and adding very little benefit. My only advice from experience is just keep pushing through the courts if she isn't prepared to communicate, on the other hand, the letters from solicitors could also be daunting and scary as you've suggested so maybe an alternative is a heart warming communication stating you don't wish to proceed down this avenue but all other avenues have failed, you'd be prepared to consider alternative methods (mediation, etc) but she needs to engage firstly.

Just a thought. Good luck,

 

[capa]

Direct contact is a no no, and has been suggested by solicitor on multiple occasions to try and sort this without need for court and still nothing. It's simply down to the fact I pay mortgage and bills, she pays nothing and having a free ride and it has now got to stop,I need my Independance,my own place set up so I can rebuild properly with my son.

And yes it's costing a small fortune near 4k all in so far and aint even had first hearing yet which no doubt will be adjourned

 

[Jumper85]

Ah, sorry to hear that. I was exactly the same, the ex was living in the house whilst I paid the mortgage but I did remove myself from the bills but thankfully she engaged in the financial discussions, a year later and I've just had my FDR and waiting on my final FDR being diarised.