Where to go from here? Seeking honest advice and support...

[Ash]

Parental alienation ruins lives and that should be acknowledged and addressed.

Agree 100%. It is enabled by Cafcass and Social Workers sometimes. And it is disgraceful that extreme radical feminists are trying to paint it as fabricated. It's a backlash because it was just beginning to be taken seriously before the pandemic. They have tunnel vision and most of the types that are promoting that drivel are probably alienators themselves.

 

[Jimi]

Exactly. When you see that utterly dishonest perspective becoming entrenched in the mainstream media it is just devastating. There is a fake feminist, man hating lobby alive, active and well connected.

Plus, such view is encouraged by cafcass and the family courts. They do not want to consider PA is as widespread as it really is. That would pose them all sorts of problems to their reset positions.

Just look at how cafcass U-turned on it. That's not a coincidence

 

[Ash]

Absolutely it's a U turn - from this from 2017 - which gave hope to many at the time - but they then retracted ........... They were also criticised for suggesting that it's Cafcass that decide what court orders are made - when it is Judges. A lot of Judges do recognise parental alienation - it's Cafcass that are the problem.

Divorcing parents could lose children if they try to turn them against partner

Measures being trialled to prevent ‘parental alienation’ feature penalties including permanent loss of contact with child

www.theguardian.com

 

[Ash]

Sorry Willoughby - we have digressed a bit.

 

[Peanut 21]

There is an MP Nick Fletcher who has advocated for men. Some sap for the Guardian (worst msm outlet in my opinion) did a hit piece on him. Usual lefty feminist tripe.
Have a search online because he's done speeches about divorced dad's and access to children issues.

 

[Willoughby]

Sorry Willoughby - we have digressed a bit.

Not at all, this is really helpful. I'll post on the other thread too but have lodged complaints with CAFCASS, I received a semi-apology in what they called a 'local dispute process', but I decided to lodge a formal complaint which they have just responded to and refused to entertain the complaint because they feel I should have raised my concerns at the time - during court proceedings.

Here's the problem - I didn't raise concerns because I was told not to by my legal representatives, who said that if I did it would reinforce my ex-partner's allegations of abuse by me, I would be seen as argumentative etc. And why is that? Because of the social normative prejudice that men are guilty by default if allegations are made, we're not allowed to be assertive.

I've kept the correspondence and will see if I can contact the MP Nick Fletcher mentioned above.

 

[Peanut 21]

Thread 'MP speaking up for dads' https://dadswithkids.co.uk/threads/mp-speaking-up-for-dads.598/

 

[PoorMe]

If you have alternate weekends and half holidays, that's almost always as good as it gets.

Ello. Got any statistics or something to back that up? Not being adversarial, but my situation is, I've had alternate weekends and then evenings (not nights) on the off week for years (no orders in place). But now she's just unilaterally removed the off week evenings, which is what I'm about to go fighting for. So a statement like this resonates with me and I'd like to know where it comes from.

 

[Peanut 21]

I think Jimis opinion is mainly based on experience and that of others. I'll have look around to see if I can find some stats on it.

 

[PoorMe]

I think Jimis opinion is mainly based on experience and that of others. I'll have look around to see if I can find some stats on it.

Thx. I had a fast google and couldn't see anything obvious, but didn't look very hard (am at work).

 

[Peanut 21]

I've had a quick search too.
Most sites say "case by case" in terms of times.
The common amount of tike does appear to be every other weekend format.
Obviously there will be cases where the dad has full custody, 50/50 and other ratios.
The main point for dad's pushing for 50/50 is to have a strong argument that it'll benefit the kids.

As your informal arrangement was that standard, there's no harm in pushing to add on extra days.
As an example, my partner requested x2 extra days to be formally added during the 3 half term school holidays onto the CAO he had. It was allowed by the Judge.

 

[PoorMe]

Thx fella.

 

[Jimi]

Have got it over the years from research statistics, solicitors and experience, both mine and others.

Families need fathers have statistics if you're interested in all that. Theirs are more honest and in depth than most, as they've experienced the reality of family court. Society obscures that the majority of single dads' relationships (or lack of) with our kids is enforced by the status quo and family law.

The fact is, if men knew the truth of how they will be treated post separation, many wouldn't have kids full stop