Thanks and to go from being his primary carer to then the idea of supervised contact has killed me, and like you say to see my boys face and hear his voice I am expected to just roll over and accept this. Don’t get me wrong I will take anything at the moment to see him, it just seems wrong that this is how easy it is for her to do this. I also rang her social worker to ask bout my boy I:e how is he and what’s he been doing and she simple reply that she can’t discuss this information, but because she took him out of his school at the beginning of this nightmare, I kept asking about his school and when the social worker replied with she can’t give me information about him she then went on to say he will be starting a new school but I’m not aloud to know what school or where, even though this is a big step in his life with everything else going on and they just excluding me from it all.
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Trying to survive for my boy
- Thread starter Bill
- Start date
I just want to say as well I’ve been away from him for nearly two months now and I’ve seen there are many farthers a lot stronger than me on here who have been away from there kids longer than that, I just want to say thanks and I respect you all, the fact you can share and try and help people out, shows how much stronger you are than I’ve been. So again thanks for the stories, the advice and dads with kids itself, as in my lowest points there been much support and respect from all
It really is unbelievable you have ended up in this situation, I was in a similar position a couple of years ago with ex taking 4yr old out of school and family home, and had urgent hearing and the court in no uncertain terms told her you can’t do that and to return them home and school. I feel time is your enemy here, the longer this goes on the harder it will be to reset. Do not accept the current situation, if you are on the birth certificate you have parental responsibility and entitled to know where he is at school at bare minimum.
I agree that you could drop a line to ex's solicitors along the lines of
"As per the court order of x date, please can you inform me of the name of the school which my son is attending".
Keep it simple for now - if you try to get too involved too soon, your ex will be more obstructive. There is a letter template on here for introducing yourself to the school and asking to be kept informed, which you could send (adapted as and where necessary) once you have the name of the school. It wouldn't be a good idea to turn up at the school at this stage though, but they will need to send you reports, newsletters and other parental communications. A lot is done on the school websites now, or via an app, so you should be able to see newsletters on there. The main thing the school needs to send you is the school reports.
"As per the court order of x date, please can you inform me of the name of the school which my son is attending".
Keep it simple for now - if you try to get too involved too soon, your ex will be more obstructive. There is a letter template on here for introducing yourself to the school and asking to be kept informed, which you could send (adapted as and where necessary) once you have the name of the school. It wouldn't be a good idea to turn up at the school at this stage though, but they will need to send you reports, newsletters and other parental communications. A lot is done on the school websites now, or via an app, so you should be able to see newsletters on there. The main thing the school needs to send you is the school reports.
Tell me about it, after the first urgent court date they just decided to give her benefit of doubt, but then couple weeks ago it was confirmed that she went to a refuge due to the allegations she made towards me. I believed that because I’m on birth certificate and that I had been with him from day 1, this would mean no matter what is going on between me and ex, me and my boy would still have a relationship but everyone I go to whether it be social or solicitors just tell me I have no rights to know until at least the court date. This is what I’m finding hardest about it all is not only haven’t I seen him but I’m not even aloud to ask how he is. It’s such a mess, I could never tell my lad that he wouldn’t be able to see or speak to his mother for 2 months, so I’m stunned that she can without any remorse
Yeah it does and I understand that the child safety is paramount, but surly if there was concern to risk to him then ether school or other parties would of noticed, but it just seemed outrageous that the mothers can make any accusations with being questioned. Like you say they play the system, and are use the child as a tool to benefit from.
The lowest points are virtually unbearable. Every little victory will make you stronger. In yourself and in the eyes of those that matter. It takes plenty of strength to reach out, ask for help, and take things on board. Keep at it, you can get there.