Hi all, new here so please be gentle!
I've just received the section 7 report, following a fact-finding hearing back at the end of May '23. I have a solicitor but of course I can't badger them 24/7 and I have a few things that, to me at least, don't quite make sense or don't seem right...
short history (happy to clarify any points here):
- left FMH in nov '20
- ex stopped me seeing kids apr 22
- applied to court for access may 21
- ex had me arrested for c+c, r**e, financial control, sexual assault July 21 - just a week before initial hearing
- began seeing kids in contact centre oct 21 for hour and half a fortnight, supervised - contacts have all gone well
- may 23 we FINALLY got the fact find hearing done (various issues with the courts caused delays) - barring two allegations which I admitted to regarding shouting at kids and having threatened suicide back in sept '19, allegations were either not or only partially proven. judge said not proven on r**e, sexual assault, financial control, c+c
- august 23 had section 7 meeting and now I have the report
the report was supposed to be to look at how contact between the children and I can progress, however its recommended a change to 3 hours a month from 90mins a fortnight, no progression past this. The cafcass officer recommended I pay for play therapy for my daughter as she's nervous/worried about seeing me. Recommended stays supervised.
the bits I don't understand are that:
- despite the fact find having not found the allegations of r**e, c+c, financial control, sexual assault, etc the cafcass worker has still listened to my ex make these allegations again, has then said she believed them, and has then factored them into her decision. Should this happen? Surely the fact find outcomes should override this?
- the cafcass worker doesn't seem to treat my ex and I equally, for example she says that the accuracy of my mental health screening thing she did relies on me being honest (understandable), however she does not say the same of my ex's assessment for domestic abuse. this doesn't seem fair?
- there are several instances where they make comments about mental health and how they don't think my depression and anxiety would explain some of the things that had happened in the past (fact find again make decisions on these and found that my mental health WOULD have impacted these events). The cafcass advisor doesn't list any qualifications in mental health after their name, should they be making statements on what is likely? esp after the fact find?
I love my kids. I've worked really hard over the last (nearly) three years to educate myself, hold myself to account and to try to be a better dad. I didn't do the things my ex has accused me of and was relieved that the fact find supported me on this, however it feels like that two days of being cross examined and found not proven was worthless as they've just revisited it and decided I'm 'faking'! I should have been a better dad back before the split, I wasn't good enough, but I've been really working hard to be better.
I accept my daughter has been more affected than my son, and I'll happily pay for play therapy as recommended by cafcass, but I just don't see how permanently reducing contact (that's how it reads, certainly no suggestions past that) is fulfilling what the court has asked. I could understand maybe dropping the length/frequency while we get the therapy in place and supporting her, I can understand keeping it supervised, I want my daughter to feel safe of course. I don't understand though how they can say I'm doing things that there's no evidence of (and that I'm not!) and ignore the two years of positive contact reports and then recommend less contact...
sorry for the rant. I just don't get it.
I've just received the section 7 report, following a fact-finding hearing back at the end of May '23. I have a solicitor but of course I can't badger them 24/7 and I have a few things that, to me at least, don't quite make sense or don't seem right...
short history (happy to clarify any points here):
- left FMH in nov '20
- ex stopped me seeing kids apr 22
- applied to court for access may 21
- ex had me arrested for c+c, r**e, financial control, sexual assault July 21 - just a week before initial hearing
- began seeing kids in contact centre oct 21 for hour and half a fortnight, supervised - contacts have all gone well
- may 23 we FINALLY got the fact find hearing done (various issues with the courts caused delays) - barring two allegations which I admitted to regarding shouting at kids and having threatened suicide back in sept '19, allegations were either not or only partially proven. judge said not proven on r**e, sexual assault, financial control, c+c
- august 23 had section 7 meeting and now I have the report
the report was supposed to be to look at how contact between the children and I can progress, however its recommended a change to 3 hours a month from 90mins a fortnight, no progression past this. The cafcass officer recommended I pay for play therapy for my daughter as she's nervous/worried about seeing me. Recommended stays supervised.
the bits I don't understand are that:
- despite the fact find having not found the allegations of r**e, c+c, financial control, sexual assault, etc the cafcass worker has still listened to my ex make these allegations again, has then said she believed them, and has then factored them into her decision. Should this happen? Surely the fact find outcomes should override this?
- the cafcass worker doesn't seem to treat my ex and I equally, for example she says that the accuracy of my mental health screening thing she did relies on me being honest (understandable), however she does not say the same of my ex's assessment for domestic abuse. this doesn't seem fair?
- there are several instances where they make comments about mental health and how they don't think my depression and anxiety would explain some of the things that had happened in the past (fact find again make decisions on these and found that my mental health WOULD have impacted these events). The cafcass advisor doesn't list any qualifications in mental health after their name, should they be making statements on what is likely? esp after the fact find?
I love my kids. I've worked really hard over the last (nearly) three years to educate myself, hold myself to account and to try to be a better dad. I didn't do the things my ex has accused me of and was relieved that the fact find supported me on this, however it feels like that two days of being cross examined and found not proven was worthless as they've just revisited it and decided I'm 'faking'! I should have been a better dad back before the split, I wasn't good enough, but I've been really working hard to be better.
I accept my daughter has been more affected than my son, and I'll happily pay for play therapy as recommended by cafcass, but I just don't see how permanently reducing contact (that's how it reads, certainly no suggestions past that) is fulfilling what the court has asked. I could understand maybe dropping the length/frequency while we get the therapy in place and supporting her, I can understand keeping it supervised, I want my daughter to feel safe of course. I don't understand though how they can say I'm doing things that there's no evidence of (and that I'm not!) and ignore the two years of positive contact reports and then recommend less contact...
sorry for the rant. I just don't get it.