Scared my son will forget me

[BilalDad]

Hey.

Context, my son is 15 months old and hasnt lived with me sknce he was 6 months but I saw him at least twice a week every week until his mum blocked all contact. I’ve finally managed to get a date booked in a contact centre to see him on the 14th June which will be over a month since he last saw me and I’m really worried he will forget who I am…

 

[proud_dad]

Hi, my psycho ex took my boy on a long 2 month summer holiday when he was 1. After the two months, when he saw me, he gave me the biggest smile and didn't want to be taken off my lap. It was a beautiful moment.

Understandably you're worried, but infants are smarter than we think. Just show him happiness and joy when you see your child. Make sure you enjoy these moments as well.

 

[blindex]

Hey.

Context, my son is 15 months old and hasnt lived with me sknce he was 6 months but I saw him at least twice a week every week until his mum blocked all contact. I’ve finally managed to get a date booked in a contact centre to see him on the 14th June which will be over a month since he last saw me and I’m really worried he will forget who I am…

Children have a built in desire to seek their parents no matter what. You’ve heard of countless children that have been adopted and then getting into adulthood desperately going after their biological parents. Keep fighting don’t give up

 

[Kyle]

Hey.

Context, my son is 15 months old and hasnt lived with me sknce he was 6 months but I saw him at least twice a week every week until his mum blocked all contact. I’ve finally managed to get a date booked in a contact centre to see him on the 14th June which will be over a month since he last saw me and I’m really worried he will forget who I am…

Catastrophising is a subject I recommend all separated dads learn about. Assuming that the worst will always happen is an incredibly harmful position to be in. How to manage those thoughts is really vital as we push to maintain our relationship with our kids against what are often quite inhuman acts.

Learning to think the opposite about what you're fearing is a common healing process. Try not to think about the possibility of your son forgetting you. But focus your thoughts on remembering who he is and that you will always be his dad no matter who tries to deny you both that and never stop fighting for a day when your contact with him is uninhibited. We are all in this fight.

 

[Ash]

If you have had a bond with him since birth - that will still be there. He will know you and respond.

 

[BilalDad]

Thanks for this post guys. Just an update I saw him. He cried initially but like it was more he just seemed shocked to see me. We had loads of cuddles and then he was so happy.

 

[OliverR]

Your story is almost the same as mine, my son is 16months , me and my ex separated when he was 6 although we did get back together briefly in the past few months I've only seen my son once a week for the majority of that time . I've tried to focus on planning stuff for when he is here with me and making a diary with plenty of photos talking about our time together. I'm not sure of your relationship with your ex but mines pretty evil and I wouldn't put it past her to try and turn our son against me when he is older so keeping the diary not only helps with my mental health but also something I can pass to him when he is older .