Letting go…

[DC5]

We’re not yet divorced and I’m happy for my ex to move on to find happiness. However, we’re currently living under the same roof and we have 3 children to care for.

I think my ex is now on dating sites and meeting other people, she is also becoming very disengaged in day to day life at home.

Bearing in mind that I have lied to her in the past, should I approach this with her? Or let it be?

 

[Roblox]

You say you've lied. Like have you cheated or something

 

[DC5]

You say you've lied. Like have you cheated or something

No never cheated, but have lied about seeking other vices. So I feel kinda hypocritical if I was to face her about it, but it makes me feel really deeply sad, and I need to get it out there for the goodness of our future co-parenting relationship. Still don’t know whether that is right or not

 

[Dirge]

Welcome to the forum DC5. Depends how amicable things are with your ex. If you feel an honest conversation could take place, then maybe say you recognise that you both need to move on, but for sake of harmony whilst under same roof and children's welfare, establish some ground rules, such as not introducing new partners to kids before divorce settled etc. You also need to talk about getting child arrangements formalised. If that conversation would be difficult, maybe suggest mediation to help you both get out the other end of divorce in good shape. If ex is not going to co operate, then number one priority is get a formal CAO. Do NOT move out before that. Just seen your other post, so looks like you have engaged with mediation etc.

 

[Ash]

Have you tried couples counselling to try and resolve any current and past issues and rebuild trust? If you think it's beyond that, then listen to Dirge. Don't move out without a child arrangements order in place, however hard it is to think she might be online dating others.

If she's disengaged then maybe you're separated under the same roof now. But take things one week at a time. She may change from one week to the next if she decides there are a lot of xxxxx holes out there and starts to appreciate you.

Do you want to separate, or try and make a go of things? If it's the latter then yes talk to her and say - you'd really like to try couples counselling and improve things.