Ex wife changed kids school without telling me or them!

[Dadof2]

Hello everyone, sorry if this is the wrong section, I'm in panic mode!

Brief history

Seperated from ex 4 years ago (she had an affair, I had the cheek to catch her!)

50/50 childcare

I lost my job a year ago, she started court to reduce my access, firstly to 6 days out of 14, then 4, then 3, then 2 by the final hearing!

It remained 50/50 and I thought case closed...

Picked my kids up today, my sons been told he has 3 days left in that school, I told him he must've misheard and they meant 3 days til half term, spoke to the headmaster... Ex wife has applied to move them to an English school (they're currently in a Welsh one going into years 3&5 in September!) and it's been approved!


Me and the kids knew nothing about it so I clearly haven't agreed!

Where do I go from here?

I've obviously spoke with their current school and I rang the admissions board who've told me to email, anyone else? The courts maybe?

 

[Ash]

It should need the consent of both parents. So I would email the school and send them a copy of the order, if they haven't got a copy already, and be quite formal and businesslike but friendly, and say that as the children legally live with both parents, it needs the consent of both parents for a school change.

Then email your ex and say you've been informed by the school that the children are leaving at the end of this term and starting a new school, and say this needs your consent, and you have informed the school it needs the consent of both parents, and ask what her reasons are.

The alternative is an urgent specific issues/prohibited steps application to prevent the move, but the court would want to see you've attempted to resolve it first via communication. Also you'd need good reasons why the current school is better than the prospective new one. And she would need good reasons why they should move.

What would have been an idea, at your final hearing for 50/50 would have been to have a clause added stating neither parent may change the childrens school without the consent of both parents. Now technically this is the case anyway due to PR but by having it in the order, it makes it breachable and the school will see that in the order and say they need consent from both. Also it prevents a moonlight flit (ie if the school notify you an application to move them has been submitted, it gives you advance warning she maybe moving to another area eg).

 

[Ash]

Assume your 50/50 order does say "lives with both parents"?

 

[Scotay]

She cant do that without your permission if you have PR. My ex tried to do this to our daughter when the school cottoned on to my ex and her behaviors and started talking with social services.

Ex immediately withdrew my daughter from school and tried to move to another but failed as the school demanded i sign a document agreeing the move, i didn't of course so she couldn't move her.

 

[Dadof2]

Sorry for the delayed reply, been a hectic few days!

Basically...

Admissions have told me either parent can apply and only the parent who applied can discuss it...

They wouldn't even tell me what school my kids are currently enrolled in!

Luckily the school told my children the name of the school, I've contact them and they've said the only people who can rectify it is admissions!

Me and my ex wife use a court ordered app where you can't delete anything and she's claimed on there it was an accident how you can go through that many pages of an online application twice on accident just shows what I'm dealing with!

As it stands, as either parent can apply to move children school, I've applied to move them back!

 

[MagicJ]

Crazy!

Importantly what kind of nonsensical stress does this put on the children!

 

[Dadof2]

The fact my kids were told in school, it was their last 3 days in that school is both insanity and a blessing, had they not been told, who knows when my ex would've come clean.

They've had a rough year and just when we thought it was all over, this happens.

 

[MagicJ]

Aged 7 & 9, they need protection and if your eldest is anything like mine, they're smart enough to want input into a decision that affects them

 

[Ash]

Does the school have a copy of your court order? And does it say the children live with both parents? You could inform the school that neither parent can change the child's school without the consent of both parents. But the problem is, they are not lawyers and don't always understand the significance of a lives with both parents order. However they should have contacted you to let you know. Under LEA rules they possibly do only need consent from one parent.

 

[Ash]

You might still need to apply for an urgent specific issues order if the school refuses a second application.

 

[Dadof2]

Aged 7 & 9, they need protection and if your eldest is anything like mine, they're smart enough to want input into a decision that affects them

Oh my son 100% is aware of what's going on, this is why I was so greatful for social services involvement.

As soon as they said they'd interview the kids 3 times, on 3 days at 3 locations to make sure they weren't influenced by surroundings etc I was at peace knowing even if it wasn't the outcome I wanted, it'd be what the kids wanted, luckily they wanted 50/50.

 

[Dadof2]

Does the school have a copy of your court order? And does it say the children live with both parents? You could inform the school that neither parent can change the child's school without the consent of both parents. But the problem is, they are not lawyers and don't always understand the significance of a lives with both parents order. However they should have contacted you to let you know. Under LEA rules they possibly do only need consent from one parent.

The school don't have a copy yet as they've pretty much said it's out of their hands and all down to admissions.

The court order only specifies the break down of days but I have emailed the court (over 2 weeks ago) for clarification on a few things.

 

[Ash]

So does the order not say anywhere who the children live with? I have heard of orders before where it specifies the time with each parent but doesn't actually give "residency" to either.

 

[Ash]

Yes order wording is something to be hot on at a final hearing. I took a draft order with me. Edit - that was second time around after first order wasn't worth the paper it was written on. But for anyone reading this - it's a good idea to take a draft order with you - with the wording you want. Courts like it as well I believe.

 

[Scotay]

As it stands, as either parent can apply to move children school, I've applied to move them back!

I don't think this is true as my ex failed when she tried this one on.

School contacted me, i made sure they had all my details so i got exactly the same information sent to me as ex did. They told me an application had been made to move my daughter and i had to sign agreement for the transfer.

I knew what my ex was up to, the school had caught on to her behaviors and was trying to start again at a new school, i refused to sign so they move could not go ahead.