Ex claims I cant see my child because of mental health issues.... what formalities can I take?

[Relents]

Hi,

My ex is keeping my child away from me and at first she claimed it was because of TRUST.

After I told her I am suffering badly with mental health and not in a good place...… she then has changed her withholding my child because "I am not safe to look after a child in my current mental health state"
What right person, after being forced homeless living rough for a few nights.... removed access to everything I've built for 15 years would not be suffering from mental health issues? I am seeking help from my GP and Therapy, both I am sure will provide letters if asked that I am capable to looking after my child.

I stable enough to look after my child. And up until the breakup was looking after 2 days a week in our home as i always have, there are 0 safeguarding concerns - although I am sure she will defend this.


A solicitor wanted to charge a large amount of money, could i draft a letter myself and send it recorded delivery ? along the lines of this what I have just drafted on Chat GTP.

Or would this be a waste of time? I am abouts to process the mediation forms.



---

[Your Name]
[Your Address]
[City, Postcode]
[Email Address]
[Phone Number]
[Date]

[Ex-Partner's Name]
[Ex-Partner's Address]
[City, Postcode]

Dear [Ex-Partner's Name],

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you with the utmost sincerity and concern for the well-being of our daughter, *CHILD* .

First and foremost, I want to reaffirm my unwavering commitment to being fully involved in *CHILD* upbringing. It is my sincere belief that both of us, as her parents, play equally important roles in shaping her future and providing her with the love, care, and support she needs to thrive.

I am deeply troubled by the recent claims you have made regarding my mental health. As you know, the breakup between ourselves has caused me to suffer from poor mental health, a situation which I have not taken lightly. However, I want to assure you that I have sought help from mental health professionals, who have provided me with the necessary support and guidance to address these challenges. I have attached a letter from these professionals confirming that I pose no risk to our child, *CHILD* .

Any insinuation that my mental health poses a threat to *CHILD* or yourself is not only inaccurate but also deeply hurtful. It is my firm belief that such allegations are malicious and serve only to create unnecessary conflict and distress.

I understand that co-parenting can be challenging, especially when emotions are running high. However, I am committed to finding constructive and amicable solutions for the sake of *CHILD* well-being. Open and honest communication between us is paramount, and I am fully prepared to engage in dialogue to address any concerns you may have in a respectful and productive manner.

My primary concern, above all else, is *CHILD* happiness, safety, and best interests. I firmly believe that maintaining a loving and supportive relationship with both of her parents is crucial for her healthy development. As such, I am dedicated to working together with you to ensure that *CHILD* receives the care and nurturing she deserves from both of us.

I sincerely hope that we can set aside any differences and focus on what truly matters: providing *CHILD* with a stable, nurturing, and loving environment in which she can thrive. I am fully committed to playing my part in achieving this goal and am hopeful that we can move forward collaboratively for the sake of our daughter.

Please do not hesitate to reach out to me if you would like to discuss this matter further or if there are any concerns you would like to address. I am here to listen, cooperate, and work towards the best possible outcome for *CHILD* .

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and I look forward to your response.

Warm regards,

[Your Name]

---



Thanks,

 

[Ash]

I'll reply a bit later but don't send it just yet. This is par for the course for ex's to accuse you of all sorts because they want to keep control, so try not to take it personally. And I wouldn't admit to mental health issues to your ex either.

 

[Relents]

I'll reply a bit later but don't send it just yet. This is par for the course for ex's to accuse you of all sorts because they want to keep control, so try not to take it personally. And I wouldn't admit to mental health issues to your ex either.

Hi Ash,

Far too late for admitting mental health issues with my ex. I openly wrote a letter apologising for the mistakes on my behalf and then also told her openly that I am suffering... truth has tripped me up.

thanks

 

[DadLad]

I had the mental health allegation used as a barrier to contact against me. My barrister at the time presented my GP note in court and this shut down her allegation.

She then changed her reason again and I have had to gather evidence to shut down that allegation.

Eventually the reasons become pathetic and wear thin, this is when they are exposed as the perpetrator.

 

[nothernsoul]

Exactly what dadlad says.

This was the pattern of behaviour I have ensured. Almost at 2 years now. They will run out of allegations and then will be left with the most pathetic of them at the very end.

With mental health, you can pay your GP to write a very brief summary for you. This will include any mental health history. I have had 2 bouts of low mood / depression and it is seen as a positive to seek help. It's the parents who don't get help whom are the danger.

I'd nip in to the GP and get the ball rolling. Takea about 2 weeks and get it knocked on the head.

 

[Relents]

Thanks guys - its very reassuring hearing those stories as my GP has already said what a ridiculous claim it is.

I wont have any issue in getting the letter from her.

I just wanted to up my chances of seeing my daughter before hand, and was hoping if i sent that letter my partner would see sense that she cant use those claims.

Thanks

 

[nothernsoul]

Good evening mate.

I would love to think that she would. But just don't get your hopes up. A mother who is attempting to use a fathers mental health is on the path to try anything

Was your mental health ever an issue that prevented you caring for your child when you were together?

 

[Relents]

Good evening mate.

I would love to think that she would. But just don't get your hopes up. A mother who is attempting to use a fathers mental health is on the path to try anything

Was your mental health ever an issue that prevented you caring for your child when you were together?

No, I used to look after my daughter 2 or 3 days a week as I work shift work. I have always worked with young children even in my career and currently work with vulnerable children. Funnily enough, I have also been looking after my nieces whilst I have been separated. I have always been a very good father and anyone who knows me will confirm this, pre the break up her family even know how good of a father I am - I am sure they class me as the worst currently.

When we split up, she made me homeless and removed everything I have ever had. My mental health, like any normal person was poor. I sought help instantly and I am receiving support.

 

[nothernsoul]

Good man.

You're doing everything you can for your family.

Be proud of yourself.

 

[bujanin]

No, I used to look after my daughter 2 or 3 days a week as I work shift work. I have always worked with young children even in my career and currently work with vulnerable children. Funnily enough, I have also been looking after my nieces whilst I have been separated. I have always been a very good father and anyone who knows me will confirm this, pre the break up her family even know how good of a father I am - I am sure they class me as the worst currently.

When we split up, she made me homeless and removed everything I have ever had. My mental health, like any normal person was poor. I sought help instantly and I am receiving support.

Sounds like you are holding a good hand. Don't let the words make your mental health any worse. This is easier said than done I know but just because somebody says something it doesn't make it true or right. You've been through a torid time.

 

[Jimi]

She'll kick you until you're dead. All you can do is look after yourself and do your best for your kid. Which includes being prepared to walk away if it all gets too much.

As the courts won't help you, social services won't help you, cafcass will do the opposite of help you and your ex will never, never relent. It takes a while to realise that they really are that evil.

 

[Ash]

Sorry I didn't get back before. I wouldn't send her any type of letter at all. Get mediation started instead, and a C100 filled in ready to go when mediation fails (sadly it usually doesn't even get off the ground most times). Those kind of letters are cathartic sometimes. Write them if it helps but DO NOT send them. It's hard to get your head round but your ex has an agenda and no words will change that.

And DO get a letter from your GP - then you can tell Cafcass that and present it at court if necessary. It feels like a very personal attack being accused of something so personal, but it is simply a strategy and agenda that Mothers do all the time to keep control. Try to detach from it being a personal attack and rationalise that this is just a very unpleasant game which relates to money (Child maintenance and house equity) and child "residency" and people will do whatever it takes to keep control. Your ex is no longer the person you were married to but a sole entity with a mission and you are not part of her agenda. It's just the way it is. Focus on thinking about your kids and getting things resolved, and jumping through hoops along the way.

 

[Relents]

Thanks everyone.

advice is second to none as per usual.

 

[BrassTacks]

Exactly what dadlad says.

This was the pattern of behaviour I have ensured. Almost at 2 years now. They will run out of allegations and then will be left with the most pathetic of them at the very end.

With mental health, you can pay your GP to write a very brief summary for you. This will include any mental health history. I have had 2 bouts of low mood / depression and it is seen as a positive to seek help. It's the parents who don't get help whom are the danger.

I'd nip in to the GP and get the ball rolling. Takea about 2 weeks and get it knocked on the head.

This is a disturbing read…. My ex has tried various approaches to try show I’m an unsuitable parent, most recently trying to allege mental health issues.

It’s like she’s on “page desperation” in the playbook: it’s just so exhausting to have to deal with every single issue.
Hang in there: just be tough, and focus on getting back on your feet and maintaining a relationship with your daughter.