Hi, hope for some advice here..
We have a court order that stipulates I see my children every other weekend (Fri to Mon), plus a midweek night.
this has been in place for nearly 4 years now and works well.
My ex has been trying over the last 1.5 years to stop midweek contact, she is constantly coming up with reasons why it doesnt work. All of the reasons come from her, not the kids. Eg, my son (age 13) doesnt like getting the train, but he wont say that to you. - this is just one example and even if it was the case (which I highly doubt) he is no longer getting train.
Every barrier she has put in place has been overcome. But now she has moved onto my daughter (age 11) with similar tactics.
We have discussed the routine openly with my children and neither have said they wish to change anything, they say the like it how it is. They have even said things such as 'mum exaggerates' and 'makes small things into a big deal'
However, Ex has applied to the court to make the midweek contact 'flexible' ie only if the children want to come. In reality this would mean that she puts more and more barries in place to make it difficult for them to come. Eg, suggestion new clubs (she always arranged scouts on a friday night), arranging meals out with family, arranging meeting friends - all to prevent contact.
Obviously as the children get older they will have their own voice and arrangements will change, but this is a clear case of her influencing the children to get what she wants, not what the children want. It's been a constant battle for years like this.
I will go court and prevent my views on why I dont feel the order should change, as it works well. A change to a 'flexible' routine would not be consistent, it would lead to the chaotic and stressful routine we had before the court order. Also it means she is in control of contact, it would likely mean I would be offered contact on certain days when she needs the kids picked up from school or certain clubs.
Also, we have tried mediation many times before the original court order, never worked as she just uses it as a way of trying to get my to agree to her controlling demands, rather than looking for a solution to any problems. Cafcass suggested family mediation, but the court have not asked for it before the next hearing - I am in 2 minds, but I dont get any sensible response from her when I suggest it.
The whole thing seems like a waste of time, but she has a history of lying and controlling matters. I really dont want to change the court order, it works perfectly well for myself and the children
any advice appreciated
We have a court order that stipulates I see my children every other weekend (Fri to Mon), plus a midweek night.
this has been in place for nearly 4 years now and works well.
My ex has been trying over the last 1.5 years to stop midweek contact, she is constantly coming up with reasons why it doesnt work. All of the reasons come from her, not the kids. Eg, my son (age 13) doesnt like getting the train, but he wont say that to you. - this is just one example and even if it was the case (which I highly doubt) he is no longer getting train.
Every barrier she has put in place has been overcome. But now she has moved onto my daughter (age 11) with similar tactics.
We have discussed the routine openly with my children and neither have said they wish to change anything, they say the like it how it is. They have even said things such as 'mum exaggerates' and 'makes small things into a big deal'
However, Ex has applied to the court to make the midweek contact 'flexible' ie only if the children want to come. In reality this would mean that she puts more and more barries in place to make it difficult for them to come. Eg, suggestion new clubs (she always arranged scouts on a friday night), arranging meals out with family, arranging meeting friends - all to prevent contact.
Obviously as the children get older they will have their own voice and arrangements will change, but this is a clear case of her influencing the children to get what she wants, not what the children want. It's been a constant battle for years like this.
I will go court and prevent my views on why I dont feel the order should change, as it works well. A change to a 'flexible' routine would not be consistent, it would lead to the chaotic and stressful routine we had before the court order. Also it means she is in control of contact, it would likely mean I would be offered contact on certain days when she needs the kids picked up from school or certain clubs.
Also, we have tried mediation many times before the original court order, never worked as she just uses it as a way of trying to get my to agree to her controlling demands, rather than looking for a solution to any problems. Cafcass suggested family mediation, but the court have not asked for it before the next hearing - I am in 2 minds, but I dont get any sensible response from her when I suggest it.
The whole thing seems like a waste of time, but she has a history of lying and controlling matters. I really dont want to change the court order, it works perfectly well for myself and the children
any advice appreciated