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CAFCASS officer (phone call)

bbl said:
How would you advise to safeguard myself as I am genuinely worried as she got me arrested previously through false allegations and wouldn't put it past her to do it again.
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Safeguarding yourself.

You can get voice activated recording devices to wear as a necklace or keep in a pocket. I suggest you have one for any time you spend with the child or with your ex. Similarly you can use your phone and/or sat nav to record your location history. If you have video calls, use a screen recorder. There is a good one built in to android. So far as possible without looking suspect, follow up on any conversations with something in writing. Keep everything you write positive. Pretend you are writing to somebody reasonable that you can work with.

The above moves are all for insurance against attack rather than for you to go on the offensive. You will have a catalogue of evidence to defend yourself with.

In my personal opinion, the clever thing for your ex to do would be not to involve the police. Police need evidence and have a much heavier burden of proof for the person making allegations to satisfy. The wise move for her would be to make a load of allegations that cannot be proven or disproven for the final hearing. She can rely on a general reluctance to call the "victim" out instead of evidence. At a DRA allegations can be signposted rather than detailed to make the court act with caution. I wouldn't expect what she brings to the DRA to be her big guns.
 
bbl said:
Thank you very much, so you would advise to keep my solicitor?
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That is very good news Cafcass have recommended shared care. I think you would be very wise to have representation at the DRA as yes your ex will almost certainly argue against it or may try to raise new issues. Hopefully the court will ignore due to the Cafcass report, but that is another reason to keep yourself squeaky clean now and ongoing by not making any allegations yourself and not reporting her for harrassment (the court might see this as a hostile move). Are you getting harrassment by email or message?

So representation at your next hearing could either be your solicitor, or a barrister.
 
If my ex disputes CAFCASS recommendations on what grounds can it go to a final hearing as the report was very thorough?
 
I can't answer that right now and you need to take one step at a time. Each step helps dictate the final outcome. It can drive you mad trying to think of all the what ifs. To a certain degree it helps prepare to pre empt things she might do or say, but just do your side of things. Agree with the Cafcass report in a position statement, and ideally have representation so someone can knock the ex's arguments on the head if she tries them.
 
He'll all,

To keep you updated my ex has disagreed with the recommendations of the CAFCASS for shared care on the grounds that it will be unsettling for my son and the previous contact she sent was not relevant even though CAFCASS wanted to mirror the contract in there report. I have been given an interim contact order with increased time, however I am sticking to the grounds of shared care going into the final hearing. Can anyone give me any advise for the final hearing and a position statement. Feel like I have been totally deflated again.
 
bbl said:
He'll all,

To keep you updated my ex has disagreed with the recommendations of the CAFCASS for shared care on the grounds that it will be unsettling for my son and the previous contact she sent was not relevant even though CAFCASS wanted to mirror the contract in there report. I have been given an interim contact order with increased time, however I am sticking to the grounds of shared care going into the final hearing. Can anyone give me any advise for the final hearing and a position statement. Feel like I have been totally deflated again.
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Hold onto the extra time for the interim.

It is a draining process so allow yourself some down time (mentally and physically).
When is the final hearing and when do you need to get the PS in?
 
Peanut 21 said:
Hold onto the extra time for the interim.

It is a draining process so allow yourself some down time (mentally and physically).
When is the final hearing and when do you need to get the PS in?
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The final hearing is in January. I am not sure whether the solicitor I had as I don't
 
Solicitor I have isn't particularly good, I just don't think he argued my case well and there has alot follow ups I have asked where he has not followed through.

I wish one of you guys could of attend as your like gold dust 😂😂
 
As the others say - good your interim time is increased. What is the interim order now? I'm happy to help with a position statement, but presumably you have to do a witness statement (aka final statement) with evidence for the final hearing? That's usually ordered to be submitted by a certain date and both parties exchange statements on that date. You can still do a position statement just before the hearing as well, but the witness statement (misnoma really) is your evidence for final hearing to argue your case for the order you want.

What I would suggest is, retaining the solicitor until statements are exchanged and bundle submitted to court. Then disinstructing the solicitor and using a direct access barrister for the final hearing - you're more likely to get the best possible order. You could instruct a direct access barrister at any time. But I'll wait to hear what your timescale for submissions is before the final hearing.

Although your ex disagrees with the Cafcass report recommending shared care, the report still stands and will also help at a final hearing, so you're quite likely to get it even if not 50/50. But it helps if your lawyer is better than hers!
 
Hello, I spoke to solicitor and he said a submission statement is the only thing required from me and her and maybe a few questions asked from the magistrates to both parties we should be hopefully half a day
 
Not even sure what that is! Submissions are usually things you want to say to the court, so maybe similar to a position statement. It does sound like the final hearing is going ahead without witness statements and evidence then. However there was another case like this and his ex still sent in a full statement and evidence and he was a bit disadvantaged by it. This is sometimes the downside to using a solicitor is you don't get to see the court paperwork - although presumably she would send you a copy if you asked. If your ex did do that I guess you could ask for it to be disregarded as not ordered. Maybe they will be following the Cafcass report mainly. But I would not be happy having a final hearing without someone making a case and arguing my side of things to get the best order possible. So I'd still suggest a direct access barrister. Alternatively you could keep the solicitor and get them to instruct a barrister of your choice (but then you'd be paying for both). One advantage of a direct access barrister is - they write up the order. If you have a solicitor and barrister, the solicitor writes up the order - and in my experience they can make mistakes or get into arguments with the other side about wording for weeks. Whereas a barrister's draft order is usually beyond question.
 
I think the best thing you can do is to safeguard yourself is what you've done already - the geoloaction option on your phone. Have you never noticed exes are like scammers - they do it all day and they're exceptionally good at it - it's stuff you'd never have thought of.

Ultimately however you protect yourself they'll come up with something else. But the burden of proof is always on them.

Solicutors are fine when you're in a bind but at some point we all need to save money. If you're Lip and the other side has a barrister or solicitor, they prepare the bundle and the judge will ask them to write the order with you present.
 
Thank you for the advise. Also my other concern is my ex is trying to make me write in communication book which was this was refused and also requesting a video call over the time I have my son over Christmas this will via my mum. The reason I am concerned is due to all the allegations prior and again I feel it is putting my safety at risk even by doing this and control. My view is I was going to speak to the CAFCASS about this tomorrow but I'm worried it will be viewd as conflict, again I feel the need to protect myself
 
Do the video interview anyway. But record it - there's often a bully in screen recorder.

Communication book not a problem. If you have it, complete before drop off and take a photo of each of your entries - if your ex is like mine, she'll amend it before court!
 
I did this before you see, it is all about control, very invasive and what I do with my son on a regular basis and again due the allegations she has made I don't trust it.
 
bbl said:
I did this before you see, it is all about control, very invasive and what I do with my son on a regular basis and again due the allegations she has made I don't trust it.
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And sorry, I meant 'video call' not interview.

You need only take this protections do a while, until they are thrown out by the court.
 
But this is prior to a final hearing you see so I don't want this to carry on
 
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