CAFCASS Indifferent again

[Seb]

Hi All
Any advice is welcomed.
I’m back in Court to regain contact after almost 4 years, at least with my daughter as she’s still 14, my other son is 16 now.
Had the hearing on the 12 May representing myself. CAFCASS and the mother came with the intention of dismissing my case and but I’ve asked the judge when can I tell my children my version of the story and show some facts that I’m keeping for the children to be adults enough so they understand the false accusations that have been brought to me. I’ve also asked the judge why my children are aware of these preliminary proceedings again and they’ve been brought to court. Apparently their intentions were to put the children to speak to the judge directly and tell them that they don’t want contact with me.
Judge did not like that and ordered Caffcass a S7 report and a new hearing in August. Judge did not had contact with the children.
I’ve contacted Cafcass asking what steps will they take further, texted the representative and heard nothing back.
They treat these cases very superficially and don’t take any responsibility to check the false accusations and the mother’s alienations.
I’ve got 3 children with the mother. The oldest lives with me since 2016 and he was 13 at the time. Now he’s 20 and still lives with me. Mother moved up north and since 2019, when she picked up the 2 younger ones after the summer holiday, restricted my access to schools and made false allegations also to school. Despite proving with facts her lies, judge ordered no more direct contact and indirect contact. Somehow, the children did not want any contact with me. We separated with hugs and kisses, see you soon, like normally every other 2 weekends. The manipulation of the mother managed to distant them from all the relatives and friends from my side and Court ordered in 2020 no contact and 2 year ban to apply as the mother asked.

Why Cafcass is playing blind with things happening behind the children perceptions. They encourage contact but no basic actions towards it.

I suppose to play calm and keep looking at this circus of hypocrisy. I’m waiting for them to contact me for the interview and will be hard to keep my interrogation of them to prove me what measures have they taken to stop the children hating their father that cared, feed, play, travelled, worked hard to provide for them.
They suppose to show us their competency and provide a better outcome and promote the family love.
My daughter accused me of ruin her childhood and accused me of dragging the mother to courts for 30 times. She can not see this is the only way to keep a calm dispute with her mother for contact. I always new where they moved twice so far but never forced my way to see the children. Still, when I crossed the paths with them at court, they looked very distressed and unhappy.
Mother remarried and claimed the new husband is the father figure in their life now. I’m not fussed about that but children were manipulated by them into believing I don’t care about them and I have a family on my own. I did remarried and have a 4th child but I never thought less of others. It’s hard to accept and my sleepless nights are not stopping.

Also, if anyone knows a good barrister in Lake Distrinct area, it will be much appreciated. Burrow-in-Furness more exactly for the hearing. I live in Kent and might be more difficult for them to travel so far.

Thank you and let’s not give up.
Seb

 

[Ash]

I remember your situation. You still need to be careful what you say to Cafcass because they analyse things and take them the wrong way sometimes. So saying something like you want to tell them your version of the story will set alarm bells ringing with Cafcass - they will see you as trying to turn the kids against the Mother. They don't seem to care about Dads being absent and look at things like - the kids are in a stable home and doing ok at school. Rather than - the kids have a biological parent missing from their lives that is important to their wellbeing as they grow up.

If a section 7 is being done, it will include the kids wishes and feelings and your 14 year old daughter's wishes will be taken seriously. And they will no doubt be the Mothers views that have been imposed on her. The only argument against that at a hearing is - how can she know her wishes and feelings without having the opportunity to see you and spend time with you?

I admire you for not giving up. But I think it really does hinge on your daughter saying she wants to see you. The courts might make an order for a 14 year old but it would be very difficult to enforce if the ex says - she doesn't want to come. The distance makes it harder.

What have you asked for in an order? Every other week-end? Or something like a couple of weeks a year when you stay near them for a holiday (or for her to come to you for a holiday?).

I hear your frustration, but you need to let that out on here and deal with Cafcass in a calm way or they will just take against you. I'd say you want the opportunity for your daughter to spend normal time with you and remember who you are, regardless of what she has been told about you and you think it's important to her development to still have a relationship with you.

 

[Seb]

how can she know her wishes and feelings without having the opportunity to see you and spend time with you?

This is a very valid point and I’ll be putting a lot of weight on it asking Caffcass to justify their views on it and explain how’s this beneficial after been in their growing up process till 4 years ago providing all for than but not beneficial anymore erasing me from their life.

 

[Seb]

What have you asked for in an order? Every other week-end? Or something like a couple of weeks a year when you stay near them for a holiday (or for her to come to you for a holiday?).

I’ve asked only the holidays to be spent with me and eventually family events when they occur due the long distance between our places. I’ve got my niece marrying next year in USA and would love to participate with all the children. These traditions will die slowly and family values will be lost completely if we don’t try to maintain and pass to the next generations.

 

[Seb]

deal with Cafcass in a calm way

I totally agree, still, they suppose to follow the procedures: first to contact the parents and after, the children. I’ve been told that in 4 weeks time, they will contact me but it has past over 6 weeks, written to them few times, even texted to the person in charge and still not heard anything back from them.
Are they not responsible to report to anyone about their works? Are they acting with their own rules? At court, in the past, they came with so many excuses of lack of personnel or people in charge taken off sick days and reports not done in time or police records not been disclosed and conclusions have been taken based on their sole opinions. Courts favoured them all the time.
What kind of institution is Cafcass, where are their qualifications coming from?
In my case, they let me down completely and threaten my children very superficially and not bothered to follow the facts.
Seemed very unprofessionally and superficially.
They should be hold also accountable for their unprofessionalism of not following their own steps.
I think, my next letter to them will be another complain, which it will not helping for my case again.

 

[Ash]

What are you waiting to hear back from Cafcass about? The Section 7 report? These things can be slow but it should be with you before the hearing in August. I wouldn't advise writing to them again or texting them again as they will just take against you. Is there a date in the order by which Cafcass has to submit the S7?

 

[Seb]

What are you waiting to hear back from Cafcass about? The Section 7 report? These things can be slow but it should be with you before the hearing in August. I wouldn't advise writing to them again or texting them again as they will just take against you. Is there a date in the order by which Cafcass has to submit the S7?

Yes. There’s a date of 1st of August for Cafcass to submit a Section 7 report along with the transcript of the 2020 hearing to the court and to both parties. The preliminary hearing was on the 12th of May. When I’ve emailed Caffcass about what steps will be taken, they replied that I will be contacted within 4 weeks. (6weeks past since their response)
Obviously, they will be doing the report in a rush and very superficially without getting much involved.
I’ll have to search for a good barrister to represent me in court. It might put a bit of pressure in doing things right and not push me away more than now.

The judge dismissed from the case my boy as he’s over 16. He’ll be 17 in August. Looks like I could try to get in contact with him now as he’s not considered to be part of the proceedings anymore. Wanted to send him a birthday present. Last time I’ve tried to send them Christmas presents via their big brother, the mother threaten her own son not to visit her with my presents for his siblings. I should be good to go now. I’ll investigate more about that.