Wishes & Feelings - Process & Views

[MagicJ]

Hi All,

I would like to canvas the members views on their experience with Cafcass & the conduct, results and impact of a WISHES & FEELINGS report ordered by the court or otherwise.

I'm specifically after:

- What was the setting, method, witness other than the cafcass officer
- How closely did the report match reality
- Did it actually carry any weight or bearing

Thanks All

 

[DB2021]

Hi All,

I would like to canvas the members views on their experience with Cafcass & the conduct, results and impact of a WISHES & FEELINGS report ordered by the court or otherwise.

I'm specifically after:

- What was the setting, method, witness other than the cafcass officer
- How closely did the report match reality
- Did it actually carry any weight or bearing

Thanks All

Hi Magic.

My experience wasn’t great at all with Cafcass.

Ex was seen at home with our daughter.

I was made to go to there office and sit in a dingy room with ex present.

Only other person there was Cafcass officer.

Tried to ask questions at end of 45mins was told to leave because she was busy women was so rude.

Luckily for me because of issues in exs life the case was taken from them and given to social services which at beginning worked out very well for me but as we sadly know now that has completely changed.

 

[Peanut 21]

In my partners case:
He was interviewed at home.
Ex interviewed at home
Kids interviewed separately in their schools with pastoral care/school elsa.

Kids wishes and feelings seemed genuine in first S7 over 4 years ago. Latest one this year, daughters wishes clearly her mothers words, sons influenced by sister and mum in some parts. But cafcass recognised this and said daughter aligned with Mother and son influenced by sister.

Still in process so not sure on bearing yet.

 

[Ash]

This happened with another Dad on here recently. His daughter expressed her wishes and feelings as part of the section 7, which were contrary to what the ex want. His daughter then went through hell for a while, while living with her Mother most of the time and his ex made a big fuss at the next hearing and a Section 7 addendum was ordered. By the time of the Section 7 addendum the girl's wishes aligned with those of her Mother, which were for minimal time and no overnights.

A section 7 isn't the be all and end all. Even if your children were free to express their own wishes, without heavy influence from your ex, if the ex refuses to accept the Section 7 and an addendum is ordered, things drag on for a long time with the children under pressure. If your ex is adamant she only wants a standard order, say for minimal time, then she will make sure your children say the same. And that's when the kids get all the stress and feel torn.

You already know my views on that though And others may have had different experiences. Personally I think it's better to get an order without childrens wishes being involved (if that wasn't going to happen) based on their best interests.

 

[Peanut 21]

Yeah I think personally childrens wishes and feelings should be removed. At least with very young kids. They don't have the capacity to deal with the repercussions.
And they get manipulated by the resident parent.

 

[mva]

Caffcass met my boys at school with conversation with their teachers as well.

They we’re 9&8 at the time.

Boys according to caffcass report only wanted contact with me every other Sunday for day time only 7 hrs.

I don’t believe mother coaxed them but after 2 years supervised ( contact centre) that had come the norm. They just said they were happy seeing dad and caffcass stuck with status quo.

Prior to court they wanted and were getting roughly 50/50.

 

[Ash]

That sounds fairly typical. Sorry to hear that. The kids get ground down.