It can be very difficult to obtain evidence of parental alienation as much of it can be verbal, between the alienating parent and the child. Even if the child tells you - Mum said xyz about you. That isn't clear evidence. If you say the child says this, the other parent can deny it, and it's common for alienating parents to coach children as well, if they're going to be spoken to by Cafcass. Result is - the child feels in the middle and anxious or fears punishment by the alienating parent.
So to start with - keep records. Any emails or texts from the ex that are derogatory, hostile or say child doesn't want to see you etc - are a start. They indicate an attitude. If you see any messages on child's phone from the alienating parent - that are shocking and give an clear sign that the child is being told untruths or negative things about you, screenshot them. If the alienating parent won't allow you access to child's devices, then state that, as their parent, you must have access - passcodes etc, to be able to monitor them safely. But if the child is told not to let you, suspect there is something fishy going on.
Make diary notes. You can write an email to yourself as a diary note, that way it's date and time stamped. Then file those emails in a folder. For example:
Diary Note:
Emailed ex name on Monday xth to arrange Easter holiday dates. No reply. Daughter came for the week-end on Friday xth saying Mum says she isn't allowed to come for holidays. Email from ex name on Tuesday xth stating daughter hates being at your house and doesn't want to come for more than 2 days.
Diary Note:
Daughter arrived seeming distressed and shouting at me a lot. Eventually she calmed down by bed time after watching a film and having supper. Next morning daughter asked me if it was true I had been to prison and done bad things. Reassured daughter that I hadn't. Daughter said Mum had told her this. Reassured daughter that Mum must be mistaken or she must have misunderstood and not to worry and she is loved very much.
Those kind of diary notes are not as strong as hard evidence like a communication from the ex to the child, or a psychologists report, or a report from school saying child has disclosed something. But they can be used as evidence attached to a statement at a final hearing.
So to start with - keep records. Any emails or texts from the ex that are derogatory, hostile or say child doesn't want to see you etc - are a start. They indicate an attitude. If you see any messages on child's phone from the alienating parent - that are shocking and give an clear sign that the child is being told untruths or negative things about you, screenshot them. If the alienating parent won't allow you access to child's devices, then state that, as their parent, you must have access - passcodes etc, to be able to monitor them safely. But if the child is told not to let you, suspect there is something fishy going on.
Make diary notes. You can write an email to yourself as a diary note, that way it's date and time stamped. Then file those emails in a folder. For example:
Diary Note:
Emailed ex name on Monday xth to arrange Easter holiday dates. No reply. Daughter came for the week-end on Friday xth saying Mum says she isn't allowed to come for holidays. Email from ex name on Tuesday xth stating daughter hates being at your house and doesn't want to come for more than 2 days.
Diary Note:
Daughter arrived seeming distressed and shouting at me a lot. Eventually she calmed down by bed time after watching a film and having supper. Next morning daughter asked me if it was true I had been to prison and done bad things. Reassured daughter that I hadn't. Daughter said Mum had told her this. Reassured daughter that Mum must be mistaken or she must have misunderstood and not to worry and she is loved very much.
Those kind of diary notes are not as strong as hard evidence like a communication from the ex to the child, or a psychologists report, or a report from school saying child has disclosed something. But they can be used as evidence attached to a statement at a final hearing.