Will this go in my favour and firsr hearing

[ryan111]

Hello

Will it go in my favour that i approached csa and i pay for my child monthly or will this be completely irrelevant.

Also at my first hearing can i get character statements from my boss and my landlord saying i never cause and issuies and rent always paid and thighs like that
Thank u

 

[bujanin]

Hello

Will it go in my favour that i approached csa and i pay for my child monthly or will this be completely irrelevant.

Also at my first hearing can i get character statements from my boss and my landlord saying i never cause and issuies and rent always paid and thighs like that
Thank u

I remember feeling totally daunted by the endless character statements that my ex presented with her first statement - nine I think. 'she's great, she's really ace oh yeah super person' that kind of stuff. Then I read on this site that judges aren't paying much attention to 'hearsay', they've got reams of stuff to read. A couple probably can't do any harm though.
I do keep up monthly payments to the CSA though seems smart to be upright.

 

[ryan111]

Thank you for you're response.. Im thinking more so showing im holding down a job and rent always being paid to show im financially stable.. But yeah ill always pay for my son mate it is the right thing to do

 

[Richie1989]

Mate, judges don’t give a shit about money or references. All they care about is the child being safe in your care. Alcohol, drugs, mental health etc. focus on proving those allegations wrong. Like I say that’s all they care about. Child payments etc is part of financial settlement not child arrangement order

 

[Ash]

What Richie said. Although it can help if you say in a position statement that you pay CM at the assessed rate from CMS and have never missed a payment (if that's the case). To show you're a committed Dad. Unless you're applying for 50/50 then it's better not to even mention CMS because there wouldn't be any if it's 50/50.

 

[ryan111]

Thank you. That was my idea trying to show im committed but you're right i need to focus on the things that shes actively going to bring up.

Its annoying because none of my past issue is has affected me being a dad

 

[Ash]

It is annoying. This is a process you just need to jump through hoops, wait till they find there are no welfare issues and then you get your order.

 

[Peanut 21]

As a spectator in what can happen to a good enough dad (no such thing as a perfect parent), it doesn't seem to matter what you do, the ex will find fault. And the professionals will fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Dads seem to be instantly on the back foot and it's an unfair game from day one.
If the ex gets allegations in first, people tend to believe and go along with that narrative.
Dads are encouraged to not make claims back as it will be seen as conflict between parents.
Dads get told to do parenting courses and change their way of parenting.
Men are targeted as not being sensitive enough or empathic. They're, in a subliminal way, being told to act more like women.

I don't care what anyone says, the courts and social services do have an old fashioned feminist view point. There's the inbuilt assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators.
Dads have to deny any abuse they have suffered from the ex and get told to follow the narrative of what the ex/kids have said.
Other organisations/people such as schools and family/friends get sucked into the exs lies.
No-one believes the children could be influenced by their mother.
It's a really unhealthy way of managing the situation.

Sorry for the rant on your thread @ryan111

It's not all bad and some dad's do get justice. I just feel it's a long way before it's an even playing field.

 

[Richie1989]

As a spectator in what can happen to a good enough dad (no such thing as a perfect parent), it doesn't seem to matter what you do, the ex will find fault. And the professionals will fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Dads seem to be instantly on the back foot and it's an unfair game from day one.
If the ex gets allegations in first, people tend to believe and go along with that narrative.
Dads are encouraged to not make claims back as it will be seen as conflict between parents.
Dads get told to do parenting courses and change their way of parenting.
Men are targeted as not being sensitive enough or empathic. They're, in a subliminal way, being told to act more like women.

I don't care what anyone says, the courts and social services do have an old fashioned feminist view point. There's the inbuilt assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators.
Dads have to deny any abuse they have suffered from the ex and get told to follow the narrative of what the ex/kids have said.
Other organisations/people such as schools and family/friends get sucked into the exs lies.
No-one believes the children could be influenced by their mother.
It's a really unhealthy way of managing the situation.

Sorry for the rant on your thread @ryan111

It's not all bad and some dad's do get justice. I just feel it's a long way before it's an even playing field.

Sadly this is very true! :-(

 

[KF31]

As a spectator in what can happen to a good enough dad (no such thing as a perfect parent), it doesn't seem to matter what you do, the ex will find fault. And the professionals will fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Dads seem to be instantly on the back foot and it's an unfair game from day one.
If the ex gets allegations in first, people tend to believe and go along with that narrative.
Dads are encouraged to not make claims back as it will be seen as conflict between parents.
Dads get told to do parenting courses and change their way of parenting.
Men are targeted as not being sensitive enough or empathic. They're, in a subliminal way, being told to act more like women.

I don't care what anyone says, the courts and social services do have an old fashioned feminist view point. There's the inbuilt assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators.
Dads have to deny any abuse they have suffered from the ex and get told to follow the narrative of what the ex/kids have said.
Other organisations/people such as schools and family/friends get sucked into the exs lies.
No-one believes the children could be influenced by their mother.
It's a really unhealthy way of managing the situation.

Sorry for the rant on your thread @ryan111

It's not all bad and some dad's do get justice. I just feel it's a long way before it's an even playing field.

Completely agree

 

[Flozinho]

As a spectator in what can happen to a good enough dad (no such thing as a perfect parent), it doesn't seem to matter what you do, the ex will find fault. And the professionals will fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Dads seem to be instantly on the back foot and it's an unfair game from day one.
If the ex gets allegations in first, people tend to believe and go along with that narrative.
Dads are encouraged to not make claims back as it will be seen as conflict between parents.
Dads get told to do parenting courses and change their way of parenting.
Men are targeted as not being sensitive enough or empathic. They're, in a subliminal way, being told to act more like women.

I don't care what anyone says, the courts and social services do have an old fashioned feminist view point. There's the inbuilt assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators.
Dads have to deny any abuse they have suffered from the ex and get told to follow the narrative of what the ex/kids have said.
Other organisations/people such as schools and family/friends get sucked into the exs lies.
No-one believes the children could be influenced by their mother.
It's a really unhealthy way of managing the situation.

Sorry for the rant on your thread @ryan111

It's not all bad and some dad's do get justice. I just feel it's a long way before it's an even playing field.

Heartbreakingly accurate. I hope change comes....I hope for the sake of the children and the dads it comes soon. Too much unnecessary suffering