Wife works part time. How much % of mortgage does she pay

[Gallivant]

My STBEW works 70% this was until recently to allow her to write a book (she got an £80k advance for) and to also look after our 3 year old.

3 year old went into full time nursery 3 months ago and book had to be postponed for 1 year because of the time divorce stuff takes up.

I have asked her to go back to 100% but she has refused. I believe this is to try to garner a greater than 50% split of financial assets.

She wants me to pay 65% of all mortgage and other joint bills now that we have started to uncouple our finances. We both live in the same house for now.

Her book advance got paid into her company and she doesn’t draw an income from it so she said that cannot be included as income when we submit financials to the mediator. I am aware I am entitled to my share of this.

Will she be entitled to more than 50% of the assets because she is “part time”. At 50% she will have enough for a 4 bed house as will I.

Oh I know she is working her normal job on these days off recently. I can’t prove it unless I see her emails or work calendar.

I have asked for her to go back to work full time as we don’t have enough to pay for oil for our heating and I will have to turn the boiler off in 3 weeks and have cold showers. Waiting her response but she could pay it from our savings account or her business account.

Can I tell her she is 50% liable for the mortgage even though we haven’t sorted the financial split or will that work against me and I need to suck up and pay 65% for the next few months?

 

[Ash]

Bit late so I'll reply tomorrow!

 

[StayStrong]

My view:

Mediation is to reach agreement outside of Court. Therefore, any agreement would be premature until mediation.is completed or exhausted.

I suggest that if the status quo is mortgage currently paid equally it remains that way, you are potentially in jeopardy of setting a precedent if you relent. In my own circumstances the parallel was school fees, paid exclusively by Ex. I was pressured to contribute but did not through seperation, result at Court was she was ordered to pay them lump sum in entirety.

Re her work and is she actually back at 100%. Irrelevant right now. At Form E disclosure you will then see whether this is the case or not.

Re paying for oil and "cold showers" coming up. To me this sounds like 'playing violins' by yourself. Drop it. Court will criticise you. Instead, adjust your other personal outgoings to accommodate heating costs. The welfare of your 3yr old is paramount, keep that right at the front of your actions.

HTH, SS.

 

[Ash]

Hi. It seems to me that 70% of a lot is a lot and 70% of a tiny income is a tiny amount. ie if your STBEW is working 70% rather than 100% but has earned 80k this year, then 70% of 80k is a lot more than 100% job on minimum wage. So her argument sounds a bit manipulative. Clearly she wants to stash away as much as she can for after the marriage ends and try and not count the 80k as earnings (which they are even if a bit of a one off).

Having said that if the 80k was paid into her "company" and it's a limited company, that is a common get around that self employed people use (men as well as women!). Whether it would stand up in court or not is unknown - it probably won't because she wrote the book on her own presumably (rather than with colleagues) and her name will be the author presumably. Therefore it is her book and her remuneration.

It's a tricky situation while you're both still living in the house.

As far as I understand it, when it comes to splitting of assets it is 50/50 - unless you do a deal. (eg accept less than 50% in lieu of her claiming on your pension - if you have one and she doesn't).

My view is, whatever you can afford housing wise, the main thing is to ensure that, so you can still provide a home for your 3 year old. My concern would be more that she tries to claim spousal maintenance for the mortgage and keep the house for her and your daughter, by means of claiming she is the resident parent who has the care of the child.

I think I mentioned before once, that it's a good idea to have a child arrangements order in place before the divorce goes through (although there may be other opinions on that). If you have the child arrangements in place, you could actually move out, and have no obligation to pay anything other than Child Maintenance payments (if the CAO is for less than 50/50). Unless you agree otherwise.

But maybe you don't want to move out yet and want to keep seeing your daughter every day. My concern also will be that your daughter will be starting school when she is 4. When does she turn 4 - before this September or after? And that's when ex's can get heavy about future child arrangements and have a plan in mind.

I realise it's a complicated situation and not just about Child Arrangements and a lot of financials involved - and maybe you feel secure in being able to continue both living at the house. But there have been many cases, where an ex wants you out, where they can get you out quite easily, stay in the house, claim they are the resident parent, and use restricting child arrangements to blackmail you over the financial agreements for divorce.

Maybe that isn't the case in your situation and it's amicable enough that you both agree to stay there until everything is agreed. But already there is leverage and a kind of blackmail going on. A lot of Dads would be paying the entire mortgage, with the stbx not working at all.

I think I would be wanting housing split and separation as soon as possible, with the Child Arrangements secured - that way you can at least afford to rent using your own income, until the house is sold via the divorce being finalised. Assume it's big enough and valuable enough that a court would see it's unreasonable for her to live there on her own, when there's a 50/50 child arrangements in place and the child legally has two homes.

Another option is to remortgage the house onto interest only meanwhile, reducing the amount of mortgage payments. In other words, the mortgage is not being paid off, just the interest being paid indefinitely until it's sold.

I am not 100% about this but I don't think the percentage of mortgage you pay, affects the percentage of asset split when the house is sold - all the while this is an informal arrangement. Or is she wanting 65% payment as part of a divorce consent order (ie she's not planning to move out/sell up?).

Assume you're going the route of both staying in the house until the divorce finances are settled (by mediation/consent order?) then the house is sold, and sorting the child arrangements via the divorce. However there are timescales involved with selling and buying houses, and you may end up having to rent for a while anyway if the house is sold.

One option to consider is - applying for a Child Arrangements order now - for 50/50 shared care - with a plan proposed that this will take effect from the time you move out of the house as you're separating and will be renting a house, but don't want to move out until Child Arrangements are formalised.

I think it's less about what she's looking for in the assets split (although a stbex will often want the lion's share) and more about her perhaps minimising her earnings now, so she can say she is the resident parent who needs spousal support and CM to maintain a home for your daughter. That is the usual thing. Designating herself the resident parent - and the world will see she is that, because she's the Mother. Unless you have a Child Arrangements order in place saying otherwise.

I can't remember but I seem to think you were not wanting 50/50 due to work commitments - if that's the case there would always be Child Maintenance to pay (15% of your gross income).

Worst case scenario would be - if she DID get you pushed out of the house, she would immediately be entitled to 15% of your income, with the mortgage still to pay, and you may not be able to afford to rent anywhere. This is the stressful situation many Dads encounter and end up living in a bedsit and unable to afford court fees for a Child Arrangements order.

I don't mean to be doom and gloom but it can be confusing, while living in the same house, to separate thoughts. When you're married there is trust and agreement. When you're separating, there "may" be a degree of a trust but agreements can't be relied on (they are not binding and can be changed overnight if someone changes their mind). Only court orders are binding.

Have you discussed what will happen re child arrangements after separation? It's actually possibly to get a Child Arrangements order, by consent, without going to court, if you can agree on those before moving out. My view is any stbex who is not willing to commit to a consent order for Child Arrangements - has an ulterior motive and anything they say re promises re Child Arrangements cannot then be relied upon.

So if we assume that you're both agreed the child will spend more time with her than with you, then, even if it's agreed that it's a "live with both parents" order (even if it's 60/40 time instead of 50/50), there will still be Child Maintenance to pay. The amount will be 15% of your gross income less the number of nights the child is with you (unfortunately this is a big incentive for exes to minimise the number of nights child is with you, to get more money).

Not sure I've been much help there! In your current situation. I think rather than agreeing who pays what percentage of the mortgage now, you should perhaps be seeking agreement on Child Arrangements for after separation, and having those formalised, saying you will be expecting the house will be sold and the equity split 50/50 so you can both buy another house. And see what her reaction is - if you don't know already.

She will be thinking about her future financial security - if she doesn't earn much and book publishing is only a once in a blue moon thing, she will be wanting to ensure she has financial security and wanting you to provide for her and the child to some degree (as she aint going to give the child up).