Ok - I have a couple of threads to start here.
But I'll start with SS...
What I've found with SS is that anything the mother tells them about me gets written in the the report as if it was fact.
She falsely accused me of DV some years ago. The children's services report names me as "the perpetrator"!
On one occasion, my daughter came to me complaining of what sounded like threadworm, which can cause itching at night. She told me she'd had it before, and that I was supposed to get a torch, shine it on her bum and use sellotape to catch and remove them.
I did a quick search online and found that what she was actually referring to was that you can sit in the dark, point the torch at the child's anus and after some time, turn the torch on. If you see the worms, use sellotape to catch them and take to the doctor's to confirm what they are and get the right treatment tablets.
You don't remove the worms to treat the problem. It is purely to confirm what the problem is.
Anyway - our daughter claimed that "mummy's eyesight wasn't good enough" so her partner did it. Yup - her partner apparently shone the torch on her anus to catch worms.
I wasn't comfortable with this, and after some deliberation I contacted children's services. I said that I wasn't trying to get anyone in trouble, but it made me feel uncomfortable.
Anyhow - they did their investigation and after a while reported to me that there was no safeguarding concern. I asked if this was because they'd been told he didn't do it, or because even if he had, they didn't see it as cause for concern. They refused to tell me, saying I should get a copy of the report.
I did (via subject access request) and found two sections in there that concerned me. One was a quote from the GP saying that I'd not gotten over the breakup ... and one was a quote from the school saying I'd asked them to give me something to show the court. Neither was true.
I managed to get it in writing from both the GP and the school that they had NOT said these things. I contacted CS to let them know. They said "we can't change the report as that was what was written by the officer that worked on it, but we can add an extra page with the bits you've added" They were adamant that their processes don't allow them to go back and edit reports.
I told them this wasn't good enough, because the report contains provable lies about me. They argued it quite hard.
Eventually, I was advised to quote the GDPR laws which state that they can't knowingly hold false information about you if you ask them to remove it, and told them I'd seek legal action if they failed to remove it. Lo-and-behold, it turns out they can indeed edit the reports, as the offending sections were removed.
I was told that they now only put in reports things from GPs and schools that are sent via secure email and can be referenced.
What is perhaps more shocking is that the two incorrect statements were written by 2 different CS officers. It's seems that making up potentially harmful stuff about a father is just normal behaviour.
I'm still listed as the "perpetrator" of crimes that I was not guilty of though.... I haven't managed to get that changed yet.
Oh - and as it turns out, yes, the ex did lie about her partner looking for the worms (my daughter now remembers being pressured to say that it was her mother and not him) but CS have confirmed that, as he had lived there a while by this point, they wouldn't be concerned even if he had!
I could possibly try to show them that the mother had lied to them, which if I was CS I'd want to know why. But I get the feeling they just don't care if a mother lies to them and tries to gaslight a child in to not telling the truth. My daughter was not contacted by CS. Only us parents were.
But I'll start with SS...
What I've found with SS is that anything the mother tells them about me gets written in the the report as if it was fact.
She falsely accused me of DV some years ago. The children's services report names me as "the perpetrator"!
On one occasion, my daughter came to me complaining of what sounded like threadworm, which can cause itching at night. She told me she'd had it before, and that I was supposed to get a torch, shine it on her bum and use sellotape to catch and remove them.
I did a quick search online and found that what she was actually referring to was that you can sit in the dark, point the torch at the child's anus and after some time, turn the torch on. If you see the worms, use sellotape to catch them and take to the doctor's to confirm what they are and get the right treatment tablets.
You don't remove the worms to treat the problem. It is purely to confirm what the problem is.
Anyway - our daughter claimed that "mummy's eyesight wasn't good enough" so her partner did it. Yup - her partner apparently shone the torch on her anus to catch worms.
I wasn't comfortable with this, and after some deliberation I contacted children's services. I said that I wasn't trying to get anyone in trouble, but it made me feel uncomfortable.
Anyhow - they did their investigation and after a while reported to me that there was no safeguarding concern. I asked if this was because they'd been told he didn't do it, or because even if he had, they didn't see it as cause for concern. They refused to tell me, saying I should get a copy of the report.
I did (via subject access request) and found two sections in there that concerned me. One was a quote from the GP saying that I'd not gotten over the breakup ... and one was a quote from the school saying I'd asked them to give me something to show the court. Neither was true.
I managed to get it in writing from both the GP and the school that they had NOT said these things. I contacted CS to let them know. They said "we can't change the report as that was what was written by the officer that worked on it, but we can add an extra page with the bits you've added" They were adamant that their processes don't allow them to go back and edit reports.
I told them this wasn't good enough, because the report contains provable lies about me. They argued it quite hard.
Eventually, I was advised to quote the GDPR laws which state that they can't knowingly hold false information about you if you ask them to remove it, and told them I'd seek legal action if they failed to remove it. Lo-and-behold, it turns out they can indeed edit the reports, as the offending sections were removed.
I was told that they now only put in reports things from GPs and schools that are sent via secure email and can be referenced.
What is perhaps more shocking is that the two incorrect statements were written by 2 different CS officers. It's seems that making up potentially harmful stuff about a father is just normal behaviour.
I'm still listed as the "perpetrator" of crimes that I was not guilty of though.... I haven't managed to get that changed yet.
Oh - and as it turns out, yes, the ex did lie about her partner looking for the worms (my daughter now remembers being pressured to say that it was her mother and not him) but CS have confirmed that, as he had lived there a while by this point, they wouldn't be concerned even if he had!
I could possibly try to show them that the mother had lied to them, which if I was CS I'd want to know why. But I get the feeling they just don't care if a mother lies to them and tries to gaslight a child in to not telling the truth. My daughter was not contacted by CS. Only us parents were.
