Section 7 undertaking, ex trying to manipulate Cafcass?

[Km5]

Really very pleased for you on the Judge's response. As completely frustrating as it has undoubtedly been since the Interim Hearing clearly by his remark "I am not prepared to accept any further correspondence about this order" shows he wasn't impressed at all with her behaviour and quite rightly so.
Your Ex will now slowly start to understand that Court proceedings are serious matters and rulings do have consequences - not good either when a final hearings is yet to come before the same Judge.

Yes take great care on any communication you have going forward. Even when with the best of intensions to any reply I made it would twist the most innocuous minor point into a completely different story trying to bolster her own highly inflated opinion.

I'm sure she will now comply to the Interim Order as to the time between now and the final hearing it will be closely scrutinised for any deviation of what he has ordered. The "but' comes with she my change tack and start making unjust/ unfair/ made up allegations as future case building. I know as i've been there !

The most important outcome is you have the time determined to be with your children and that your eldest boy gets the help he needs for you to have and enjoy the loving relationship of Dad and Son which has been so cruelly denied.

 

[StayStrong]

I had good news today, response from the judge saying he has considered mothers email the day after the last hearing (in which she tried to claim she doesn't agree with the order and was railroaded and rushed at the hearing), he has considered fathers and father's counsels response opposing mothers viewpoint, he has considered amendment made by fathers counsel to make one recital clearer for the mother, and has considered mother's draft which changed the order..... Judge's response is that he does NOT accept mother's changes and that the original order stands with the minor amendment we agreed to.

He concluded with, "I am not prepared to accept any further correspondence about this order".

The order was attached exactly as my barrister set out and is dated from 10 days ago, the date of the hearing. Consequently she's already breached twice on phonecalls! As Cafcass have been noticeable by their absence I shall await for their contact or chase them next week as we are now behind schedule on deadlines for the family assistance order.


I am so pleased that the judge has held fast against the mother's attempt to derail my interim order and hope this makes her see she has to comply. Won't hold my breath though !

I'm very pleased for you Hobnob. I too had to contend with a request to have an Order set aside (& she was repped!), and had the same outcome as you have had.

My advice to you is to immediately send today's correspondence and Order to the Cafcass person and politely request a response which updates the timetable of their involvement and specifies what their next action is going to be.

I never knew until afterwards that a request to "set aside" had been made, but did have cafcass on the phone to me in the interim period, and reflection of that lengthy phone call makes me now know they were fully aware of the request and were sounding me out. Utterly devious and downright contemptuous to the principle that both parents have equal rights throughout.

Illigitimi non carborundum mate....take that torch forward for your childrens' sake.

SS.

 

[Ash]

Excellent news and sounds like that Judge has the measure of your ex. Yes breaching straight after a hearing is par for the course! Yes I am sure she will try some more manipulation one way or another.

 

[Hobnob]

If you're still with me guys, the Cafcass saga continues...
Quick recap -
Court hearing on 18.07.22 - judge ordered an interim contact order for 6 months to include monthly weekend overnight stays in the UK with my 2 girls plus weekly phone calls and a week with me in the UK at xmas... to reinstate contact with my son via an initial letter, plus counselling for my son arranged by Cafcass, and supported reintroduction for him and I via Cafcass... also for the Cafcass section7 author to facilitate a family assistance order over the same period with a court review in 6 months after a final report from Cafcass to seek a final order or decide if a final hearing is necessary (it will be necessary as mother has made it quite clear she will NEVER agree to the kids coming to my home abroad, nor does she agree with half of school holidays with me).

The mother attempted to derail the order and rewrote it, sending to the judge who dismissed her and stuck with my barrister's order, consequently the order wasn't sent out for 2 weeks. In the meantime, Cafcass bailed, mother didn't follow the order and we are now 3 weeks in and deadlines missed for various things.
Yesterday I finally spoke with the Cafcass officer who was very defensive with me and making lots of excuses about her lack of communication with me (I hadn't asked for an explanation), turns out she's had plenty of communication with the ex and has even been back to visit her and the kids since the court hearing...

Here are my new concerns...
1. Cafcass officer has spoken with my 13yr old son again to ascertain what questions he has for me, with the intention I address them in my letter to him. The list of questions was put to me in a very vague manner in which she kept saying things like "oh I can't read my own writing", "my notes are downstairs", whilst taking in a parcel and trying to recall her conversation with my son, who's name she kept getting wrong (the new working from home standards of professionalism). Questions were along the lines of:
a) You said you don't like mum? (Never said this to the kids or in their presence)
b) You never told me you were leaving? (Untrue)
c) You never spoke to me over covid? (He and I spoke on the phone a minimum of twice a week every week and messaged daily throughout)
d) Why don't you provide for us yet you bought a Mercedes for £40k? (I walked away with nothing and paid for everything - recently reduced CM due to legitimate income drop but had been paying over £1k a month for over 2 years and still pay to mortgage despite signing house over - I also suffered financial abuse throughout the whole relationship. I also haven't bought, nor do I own a car - I lease a car and use hire car when have the kids in the UK, one time I got an upgrade to a Merc that would have been worth about £100k at the airport back in April this year, the girls know I don't own these cars and only hire them for the weekend)
e) Why did you buy me a mug with certain marvel character on as really hurt me? (It was an innocent gift alongside a related card which he claims was a dig at his mother. He smashed it to pieces.)
The overriding theme of these questions was about finances, he claims I'm "buying" his sisters because I take them out once a month and his mum has told him they can't afford stuff and she's struggling because I don't provide. I asked why is mum having these discussions with my son about finances and the Cafcass officer defended her and said it was my son putting 2 and 2 together and making 5. She said I should open him a bank account and send him money directly. (I offered my son birthday money and he refused point blank). I don't see how this is possible when I haven't seen him for 2 years, we'd need to go to the bank together.

I raised the concern that if I answer his questions it could cause further confusion and internal conflict for my son as he currently has one set of beliefs (unfounded and based on misinformation), and that if I give him my own explanation he may further believe I'm a liar, fueling his anger and rejection of me, or if he does believe me, that raises doubts about what he's been told by his mother, which will be devastating for him also. Cafcass officer told me, "do not tell him the truth". She advised me to explain to him that these things are not his business and not for him to worry about.
I am really concerned about how to even approach this letter without doing more harm. Cafcass have given him the opportunity to raise questions but tell me not to give him the answers he seeks. I already tell him via messages how much I love and miss him so the same via a letter will achieve zero. His anger towards me clearly stems from all the lies he's been told, he's even denying I've had contact with him despite their being thousands of messages to prove we have. Cafcass don't seem to want to acknowledge the reality of what's happening to my son !

2. The section 7 objective was to ascertain the kids feelings about visiting my home abroad. My youngest child is almost 8 and is chomping at the bit to come with me, she made no bones of telling Cafcass this and the Cafcass officer even said to me, "if she could drive herself to the airport she'd do so right now". My youngest also said she wasn't bothered if her siblings didn't come she still wanted to come by herself. Cafcass recommended she come, but mother refused and it's not yet been ordered for interim.
Mother has not explained to daughter that she's not allowed to come or why, and after the hearing when I had her overnight, she constantly asked am I coming, when am I coming. She also said "daddy, has the *lady* (Cafcass) told you that the government are going to help me come visit you?".....
I raised this with Cafcass and was told that I'm to blame them and that she will explain and sit down with the kids and go over the court order. I explained my worry is daughter is confused and I can't tell her why she can't come over, I'm concerned she will feel I don't want her to come and I can't tell her that her mum won't allow it. Again, she said "you can't tell her the truth". So I'm to blame Cafcass for telling daughter the wrong information.
As the conversation continued, it was clear that the Cafcass officer wasn't even aware that they aren't allowed to come to my home. She said I'm concerned they're coming for a whole week at Xmas and it may be too much too soon for middle daughter. I had to put her right and let her know that the week is to be spent in the UK. She's seemingly unaware that her recommendations have not been agreed to or ordered (she failed to show up to court).

3. In my interim order it's been agreed for pick up of girls from school instead of home to prevent middle daughter being reluctant. Cafcass officer stated yesterday she is worried middle daughter may have a "meltdown or kick off" and not want to come. (She never "kicks off", she regresses to 2 year old child looking at the floor and shaking her head in distress saying she has to go out with mum instead, though I've managed to stop this some time ago after months of perseverance). These words have come from the mother. She raised them at court and said what if middle child doesn't want to go with her dad from school, the judge said father will deal with it. Now Cafcass are backing up mother's "worries". Her suggestion is I go to Matalan and buy my daughters a novelty suitcase each so they look forward to my visits. I agreed with all her suggestions as I was unable to tell her that I've already bought rucksacks, diaries, special things for them to bring with them when they're with me, and that each and every item has mysteriously "disappeared". Daughter doesn't know where such items are any longer and when I've asked the mother she claims to have created a "memory box" of me for the kids where she's put these things. (This freaked me out and made me feel as though I'm deceased!). I've seen this "memory box" once and it was a used plastic children's lunch box! Anyway, I digress, the point being, she spoke to me in such a patronising way about how to encourage them to come with me, when I've been having no issues with them coming with me for months. They are happy with me and never want to leave, however, now I'm being told by Cafcass there's concerns middle daughter won't come.

4. My weekly court ordered calls go completely ignored, unanswered, declined. Mentioned to Cafcass and she said mother has said girls don't answer and you only ask the same questions of them. She intends to help me find the "right topics". Again, so very patronising when I have previously enjoyed so many lovely and lengthy telephone conversations with my daughters, and we never struggle for things to talk about when we are together. Cafcass admitted that they will probably have to be present to facilitate the calls as the mother is unable.

 

[Hobnob]

5. In the section 7 report the family assistance order was recommended by Cafcass and was outlined with a schedule of actions and deadlines. These have already been missed and the Cafcass officer has made no commitment to adhering to the schedule with me. The first monthly review never happened and I had to press her to reschedule it to next week as her suggestion was to leave it until end of September! That's half way through the order !

She gave no timescales for the letter, or my sons counselling, or any indication of when she intends to speak with the children.

She's also impossible to reach. She's ignored me for 3 weeks and then finally answered me yesterday to make an appointment for a call. She missed the appointment and I spent over an hour on email and calls trying to reach her before finally doing so. Her response was, "oh we are like ships that pass in the night".

She was very vague about making an arrangement for our next telephone call, I had to pin her down to a time.

She also told me by email that she will be unavailable at various times because of annual leave and other court cases but gave no indication of the dates of these and only gave the main switchboard number as an alternative contact.

In summary, I have absolutely zero faith in this Cafcass officer conducting the family assistance order with any real focus on the kids best interests or in committing to her communications with me through the process. Her primary concern seems to be to protect the mother.

I'm not sure where to go with this. Do I have any options to ask for a different officer to be assigned or could that make things worse as the kids have already built a rapport with the current one? Do I risk losing weeks and months if I go that route? Is it better the devil you know? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated?

 

[Ash]

It is patronising isn't it? And very frustrating that they are not trained in parental alienation and spend too much time enabling it by pandering to the Mother. To be fair I think their focus is on protecting kids and they think appeasing the Mother will be better for the kids - what they don't get is that a Dad can be just as good a parent and a Mother isn't everything! And they're only living with the Mother because Cafcass assume that's the best place for them to live always (so in my view they deny the idea that a Mother is deliberately alienating).

It sounds like the Cafcass officer is out of her depth completely. It is incredibly difficult when your ex is lying to the kids and causing them stress and pressure. I know how hard it is - whatever you do, the kids are stressed. If you tell them something that's true it causes conflict - if you let them believe lies it's harmful too.

The problem is, all this is happening while they're with the Mother. I wouldn't be happy with the situation either. This is partly what's wrong with the court system. You get a good Judge who is proactive and then relies on Cafcass to sort it out and Cafcass are overloaded, undertrained, and biased towards Mothers. But mainly completely out of their depth with parental alienation.

This is why parental alienation is so particularly nasty. To avoid stress for the kids it ends up being "enabled" further. What Cafcass will never do is recommend taking the kids from the Mother. Tbh I think part of why they're so ineffective in these situations is they sit in the middle and dither and don't know what to do. Which is why it needs robust intervention which the court gave. Again to be fair they know children can't just change and adjust overnight and things have to be handled carefully.

I think it was completely wrong to ask your son what questions he wanted to ask - when he has been coached, pressured and lied to and doesn't have his own voice. And yet she did that anyway. That isn't exactly counselling is it? I would just write whatever you want in your letter and not refer to those questions at all.

Maybe something like - "Ms X the lady from Cafcass, passed on to me some concerns and questions you had for when I write to you. I just want you to know I do and always have loved you and that when parents separate, things can be complicated and there are things that happen that children don't know about and shouldn't know about until they're older. The most important thing is that you are still loved and wanted by both parents and adult matters are for adults to sort out between them. I don't think financial matters should be discussed with children either, but wish to reassure you I have always provided for you financially and have never owned a Mercedes - that might be a misunderstanding as I have had to hire a car at the airport to pick up the girls and on one occasion the hire car was a Mercedes.

Sometimes misunderstandings can cause hurt feelings but the main thing to remember is I do and have always loved you and wanted to see you. And I am sure when we get to see each other and talk properly, everything can be understood properly and sorted out. No parent is perfect and sometimes parents just can't live together any more and separate and children then have two homes and see their parents separately.

Ms X the Cafcass lady, is there to help try and resolve things so you can enjoy happy times with both parents."


I don't know - whatever you think. A letter is never the same as face to face is it? I wouldn't even mention the other questions though. Over the years I was given "phrases" to say in these situations and one was "Mum might think that but it's not the case, it's probably a misunderstanding" - as a way of telling my son something he had been told that wasn't true! I was seeing him regularly but he would arrive with these accusations and things he'd been told by Mum - that was the phrase I was told to use - and it was effective - so as to not criticize his Mother but to say that these are "misunderstandings". That in itself is a lie because they're not misunderstandings! They're deliberate dissing!

But I was told to always correct a lie but say it in a way that didn't criticize or blame the Mother. So my son didn't feel conflicted.

There was a time though where he was consistently adamant that I wasn't his real Dad. I would correct it and say yes I am and Stepdad is your Stepdad. I tried the explanations like maybe the word "real" means different things to different people and Stepdad was married to Mum and lived with him and Mum, but I was his Dad because I helped "make" him - he was part of me and Mum. He still denied it and said no = Mum says you're not my real Dad (ie Mum said it so it must be true). On that occasion I just got out his birth certificate and showed him. Then he knew it was true. I probably shouldn't have done but glad I did. He could see it in black and white on his birth certificate. I don't think it did him any harm, in that moment, to realise that what Mum said was wrong - it perhaps gave him some criticial thinking skills - and I think in his own mind he just dismissed the whole thing and probably thought - parents are going to say different things - maybe it doesn't matter.

It was actually a very positive moment because he laughed when he saw his birth certificate and saw what his Mother's maiden name was Obviously I can't tell you what it was.

Anyway - your Cafcass situation - I wouldn't have any confidence either. I don't know what to suggest right now. When I've read Judgements of cases there have been cases where a Cafcass Guardian has reported back and the Dad hasn't agreed with her and the Judge has either agreed with the Dad or another expert or the Guardian has been replaced.

The problem is - a) Cafcass are completely overloaded - which isn't helpful I know b) they don't know how to handle parental alienation - they're not trained it. They might mean well but ...........I think she probably gets that ex is lying to the kids because she said to you - don't tell him the truth. Which is why I think you need to find "phrases" that aren't so black and white. Alienators are black and white people. Everything is black and white - no middle ground. When I used to say to my son well yes maybe Mum does do it that way but families have different ways of doing things and neither is right or wrong - they're just different. The next time I saw him he said - you're wrong - it's either right or it's wrong. This is what ex told him. I just used to change the subject and he'd soon forget it all and start behaving like a normal kid. Which is why the most important thing is seeing them and having as much time as possible - so you can a) manage things and b) they are away from that negative, hostile influence and not immersed in it.

I did recognise at some point that if in some way I could get things more amicable with his Mother things would be a lot easier for my son. I offered the olive branch a few times (even though it made me feel like vomiting after the horrific things she'd done) but just got a load of abuse back.

You can't change what the other parent does - you can only be there for them as much as you can and be a good parent. You can't blame yourself for ex's awful behaviour. Kids will work things out themselves and learn coping strategies. But they can't do that if they're immersed in her world and never see you.

She will never accept it probably unless forced to be a strong court order and even then she will probably carry on the hate stuff - but as long as she follows the court order and you see them regularly you can keep the relationship good.

I think in all communications to or about the ex, always use a calm, positive tone - rather than express the frustration at what she is doing - ie show you're the one who means no harm and isn't a threat to her. She will always see you as a threat to her Motherhood (because you're married to someone else and another woman is involved and because you left her). She will always have revenge. What she should do is focus on her own life, moving on and let the kids see both parents. But some people just use Motherhood as "their life" - as a status thing. And there is so much in society that assumes kids stay with Mothers and Dads are just careless people who "abandon" their family. So ex's like yours play on that.

Sorry I'm going on too much.

So what to do. I think it's too soon to write to the court again to say this isn't working. Try and keep the Cafcass officer onside. Agree with her - carefully and politely suggest things that you think are important or would work. Remind her gently, that you know your children. Carefully say to her that the children need to feel they can come with you and if she tells the mother that the court thinks it's best they come from school and that's what will happen, then it will be easier for your daughter to come - she needs permission to come.

 

[Ash]

What you really need, I think, is psychologists reports - but that is a big, expensive route. Psychologists report will prove the parental alienation, and will be higher evidence than the Cafcass Guardian report and the Judge will follow it. Psychologists report might even recommend change of residence if the Mother doesn't comply with an order within x months. That has been done - even when a Dad has lived abroad. But that, as you can imagine, is going to take time and money. Right now, go with it one step at a time. The positives are - the kids know someone else is involved to try and get Mum to let them see you.

So one step at a time. Bend over backwards to keep the Cafcass officer onside. If you do disagree with something, then say so, but do it gently and have an alternative suggestion. It's ok to disagree with her but you need to keep her onside. Thank her for her advice (flattery helps). She sounds useless but - just play the game for a bit. Give it a month maybe. If you're not happy with the situation then maybe email the court and ask for a directions hearing saying there is not much progress and you wish for a change of Guardian and/or psychologists reports on both parents.

The danger is - if the Cafcass officer sits in the middle - is they report back that the situation is "intractible". Because they pussyfooted. Don't accept that.

I totally get you and you know when someone isn't doing it right and you don't have confidence. And yes it's patronising.

I don't want to be doom and gloom though - the problem right now is Cafcass, not the courts. The court has tried to make the Mother follow the order by the family assistance order (which in itself denies that she is just being obstructive). A final hearing could do the trick. If a Barrister wipes the floor with her then she is likely to never want to go back to court again and will just follow the order. Yes she will always be manipulative but you can guide your kids and give them strengths (and see what normality is) when they're with you.

 

[StayStrong]

Hobnob, I'm really sorry to hear this but I am not surprised. You have remembered my comment made after the June hearing regarding "...be very wary..." and so it comes to pass.

I don't agree with Ash. Enough is enough. You have endlessly tried to contact this person and eventually you have succeeded, only to then experience total unprofessionalism across multiple areas as you describe today. In the meantime it appears there's cozy cups of tea and apple pie being enjoyed by the ex with this person, yet again evidencing the institutional gender bias that pervades cafcass.

You have done your very best to see the last Order implemented....but that isn't the script! You have done your genteel and reasonable approaches to cafcass and no doubt displayed a far greater level of patience and allowance to their ineptitude than anyone could reasonably muster. To no avail.

Enough is enough.

Hobnob, I think you need to do two things: write to Court, detailing the Order failures, the slipped timetable and your total lack of confidence in the cafcass individual; and, write to cafcass through the complaints system and get personnel changed.

SS.

 

[Ash]

Good idea.

 

[blindex]

She gave no timescales for the letter, or my sons counselling, or any indication of when she intends to speak with the children.

I agree with StayStrong, enough is enough.

You may want to look at Cafcass operating guidance https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/about-cafcass/policies/cafcass-policies/ and refer to it in your complaint.

Here is the link to the Family Support Order operating guidance.

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Family-Assistance-Orders-guidance-flow-chart.pdf

Based on what you said, the officer is not following their own rules which is not surprising

Don't make it personal though and keep it short and to the point

 

[Nemobaz]

Hi everyone,

Quick update on my case and I have a few questions I hope you can help me with....

1. My situation - 3 kids with ex-wife, I'm remarried with 2 stepkids and live overseas in Europe, ex and kids are in the UK. Contact with kids was stopped for 14months due to covid travel restrictions, but when this changed, ex had a new boyfriend and became obstructive to me resuming regular contact with the kids and my relationship with them began to suffer, telephone contact was also obstructed and dwindled to nothing. I filed for CAO end of last year (after failed mediation) and so far Cafcass found no safegaurding issues against me but noted I alleged emotional abuse of the children via PA from the ex. At the FHDRA I self-repped, Cafcass weren't in attendance, and the judge sided with ex. Ex was completely hostile and made false allegations against me that were not previously raised (coercive control/harrassment/bullying/spying). The judge ignored all allegations but also didn't give me an interim order and told us to sort things out between us in the meantime.
I see 2 of my kids once a month, after months of pleas and argument this was progressed to overnight stays on the last visit. Every visit is difficult with terms and conditions dictated by ex, middle child reluctant to come at first, eldest child has completely cut me off and never comes, and every visit (the kids are totally happy with me) is followed by the kids being interrogated, anything and everything being used against me, the kids cut me off in between visits, and I get sent nasty emails berating me. E.g. on last visit, after a hectic day out, kids chilled out for half an hour watching TV and I lay on sofa with my eyes closed. (Kids are 7 and 10 and were right next to me). Ex alleges I slept whilst they played outside unsupervised, not true.
Ex is also point blank refusing for the kids to come and stay with me overseas at my home.

2. Judge ordered a section 7 to determine whether kids want to come to my home and Cafcass mediation to determine CAO at the next directions hearing in July.
Cafcass interview was with the same officer who did the initial safeguarding interview before the FHDRA and seemed to go very positively with me. Ex had obviously been interviewed first as Cafcass knew details could only have heard from her. She had clearly omitted a lot of information as the Cafcass officer was shocked and didn't know the kids have refused all telephone contact with me in-between visits. After asking me how child arrangements were going and me explaining the difficulties, the Cafcass officer actually suggested it could be PA and stated they could put a stop to it. Cafcass also looked at my home via video call as ex alleged it was unsuitable. Cafcass told me they saw no problems with my home (described it as suitable and beautiful!) and told me they'd also be looking at the ex's home and seeing the kids there, before interviewing them separately at school, and then finally seeing me with my 2 youngest kids during my next visit in June before she writes her report. It's next weekend I'm due to see her with the kids together.

3. In the meantime, I've asked the ex to reschedule a weekend with the kids to coincide with the July court date as I can't afford to travel back to the UK twice in one month to do court and see the kids separately. Ex has refused and given no reason other than 'the children don't have to have plans to be unavailable to you'. She's ignored my pleas and the fact that I won't see the kids for 6 weeks if she refuses to amend the date. She still point blank refuses and says it's my problem.
On my visit next weekend she tried to stop me picking the kids up as agreed on the Friday evening, firstly stating it was too late for them. When I argued this she said actually it was because she had a work commitment. I said I'll pick them up from whoever is looking after them and she said it's not fair to put that responsibility on someone else to handover the kids. Finally after I said this was unacceptable she relented and said I could collect from the kids grandparents (her parents), but not to step foot on the drive, wait in car, and IF the kids want to come they'll come to me, she also added that I have pressured her into this arrangement. My middle daughter always needs persuasion so this arrangement is unlikely to work and also I have no contact details for grandparents to let them know my exact pick up time. This varies a little due to flights but we've agreed a cut off time of no later than 9:30. Ex has ignored all requests to answer these concerns about pick up and only told me I'm causing her mother a huge amount of stress by insisting on collecting the children on the agreed Friday evening. I suspect the pick up will be problematic and I potentially won't have my kids. I'm due to meet Cafcass with the kids the following morning.

4. During email exchange to request this and also to request a call with the kids on father's Day this Sunday (which she has ignored). Ex has dropped onto the end of the email that she is meeting with Cafcass tomorrow. This was something I was unaware of as she has already had her interview and home visit and the children's interviews at school were this week. As far as I can gather, if she's seeing Cafcass tomorrow, this is an additional meeting to the process that was outlined to me from Cafcass? I believe she dropped that information in as a threat. The hostility she has shown since the first court hearing is off the scale. The judge reinforced her arrogance so she's run with it and sent me further nasty correspondence telling me I'm an unreliable bully.
I have reserved a barrister for the next hearing.

5. Every time a professional becomes involved, my ex tries to align them with her and bombards them with phone calls and emails. She did so with the mediator (who is now facing a panel review with the mediation standards board due to my complaint of her unprofessional and biased conduct), she did so with this Cafcass officer the first time around during the safegaurding process, and I have no doubt that she is doing so again and slagging me off to Cafcass and no doubt forwarding any and all correspondence to them.

So, my questions are....

Is it typical for Cafcass to have multiple meetings with the mother/resident parent that I have no knowledge of, other than ex has chosen to make me aware? What do I do about Cafcass seeing me with my kids if my pick up doesn't go to plan next Friday? I haven't made ex aware that I'm seeing Cafcass the following day as I worry she could deliberately sabotage it and I've no idea if Cafcass have told her either.
My worry is that she has the extra meeting because she's made yet more new false allegations about me or that's she's trying to win favour with Cafcass by increasing her contact with them. I will meet the Cafcass officer face to face once, whereas the ex has clearly been having far more dealings with her. I believe she is trying to interfere with the section 7 and manipulate the outcome of the report in her favour. I also believe the kids will have been heavily influenced by her coaching and alienation prior to their interviews. Does anyone have any advice or experience they can share in relation to this?

Thanks.

I have had my 50/50) stopped due to a section 7 report however I am not even allowed calls, ex says it is distressing the child however it’s all based on lies

 

[Hobnob]

I have had my 50/50) stopped due to a section 7 report however I am not even allowed calls, ex says it is distressing the child however it’s all based on lies

I'm sorry to hear this. What was in the report that caused 50/50 to be stopped?

 

[Nemobaz]

Apparently I’m a drug addict but I’m not worried about that because blood tests will prove I’ve never done that. It saying I’m unfit due to mental health even with a medical report from mental health team saying no risk. I am sick of it all being anything the woman says is gospel

 

[Hobnob]

Apparently I’m a drug addict but I’m not worried about that because blood tests will prove I’ve never done that. It saying I’m unfit due to mental health even with a medical report from mental health team saying no risk. I am sick of it all being anything the woman says is gospel

Unfortunately this is standard behaviour from the mother, it will get worse. Just keep your calm and prove your innocence against each allegation. The more she throws at you that you can disprove the less credibility she has. This forum is a great resource and help.

 

[Nemobaz]

Unfortunately this is standard behaviour from the mother, it will get worse. Just keep your calm and prove your innocence against each allegation. The more she throws at you that you can disprove the less credibility she has. This forum is a great resource and help.

thankyou, I'm doing my best to stay calm, im looking into some complaints not that i think it will go anywhere... they are supposed to be protecting the children and yet wouldn't look at evidence i have of my daughter at the window writing messages saying she wants to see me and voice recordings from my son saying the same... yet they take the word of the mother that they don't want anything to do with me.... absolutely disgusting in my view... anyway that's my rant over with.. thanks again hobnob ..

 

[Hobnob]

thankyou, I'm doing my best to stay calm, im looking into some complaints not that i think it will go anywhere... they are supposed to be protecting the children and yet wouldn't look at evidence i have of my daughter at the window writing messages saying she wants to see me and voice recordings from my son saying the same... yet they take the word of the mother that they don't want anything to do with me.... absolutely disgusting in my view... anyway that's my rant over with.. thanks again hobnob ..

Did the S7 report ascertain the children's wishes and feelings? Can you give more specifics on where you are at in the court process please.

 

[Nemobaz]

Did the S7 report ascertain the children's wishes and feelings? Can you give more specifics on where you are at in the court process please.

It’s Manchester family court and everything was on the mothers words spoken in the room on Monday. I wasn’t able to explain anything or show evidence