Guest viewing is limited

Safeguarding letter issue

B

bujanin

Experienced member
Member
Hello folks

One thing written in the safeguarding letter from three weeks ago has brought me to an extremely low point. I have slowly picked away at it

School has reported to have witnessed
father’s controlling and aggressive behaviour which the child also noted that she feels
unsafe with Mr *********.


I have been waking throughout the night so upset that I am being labelled as aggressive towards my child and that the child says that they feel unsafe with me. It's now written in official documents that can be used by my partner in the future to say 'look your father was aggressive and controlling towards you'.

Finally today I sat down with the headteacher and safeguarding officer. They have stated that there has been no communication with CAFCAAS and that they have not reported aggression or controlling behaviour or child feeling unsafe to anybody. They were genuine and stated that any report made by the school would have to go through the headmistress. I recorded the convo. I feel hugely relieved but what kind of shenanigans is this.

Can anybody advise - do I write to CAFCAAS now requesting some explanation of the untruth and if so how to avoid alerting them to the fact that I have shared details of the safeguarding letter?

Or do I include a reference to this in the response to my wifes allegations that I am in the process of finalising now.

I want an apology and for this to be removed from the record and the Judge to be made aware. It's created a depth of depression that I haven't known before.

Any input will be appreciated.
 
Sometimes what you read in a Cafcass report has to be read carefully. Some things that sound like they are being stated as fact, are actually just reporting what the ex has told them. So if your ex told them "School has reported xyz" then Cafcass would write that under the section of whatever the ex reported.
 
I'm really sorry you have had this and it's so distressing. Cafcass do sometimes talk to schools to get their feedback but the school has assured you they haven't said this. If it's any consolation it is not a major thing in the bigger picture and other things can counteract this statement.
 
Ash said:
I'm really sorry you have had this and it's so distressing. Cafcass do sometimes talk to schools to get their feedback but the school has assured you they haven't said this. If it's any consolation it is not a major thing in the bigger picture and other things can counteract this statement.
Click to expand...
Thanks Ash.

At the moment I have only supervised interaction with my daughter, at the school. and I believe that this is why - aggressive and controlling becasue there is no other reason in the process so far.

Do you think that writing to the case officer at CAFCAAS is a good idea?
 
Would the school tell you in writing what they told you verbally?
I know sometimes they don't like to as they don't want to get involved.
As Ash has said, sometimes a cafcass safeguarding letter is just a load of repeating what someone else has said.

It's easy for me to say, but I know how you feel, but unless cafcass see you with your child and do a proper report, safeguarding letters are just a mish mash of others opinions.

It does sound like they're just repeating what the mother has said.
 
bujanin said:
I want an apology and for this to be removed from the record and the Judge to be made aware.
Click to expand...
Don't hold out for an apology. Who do you want the apology from? Cafcass? The ex? It ain't going to happen. Sorry if that sounds harsh but even if they did apologise it would only be a token one as you've asked for it. It wouldn't be sincere.
 
Ash said:
Who does the supervision at school? I've PM'd you.
Click to expand...
The headmistress and the safeguarding officer. It simply came about because my wife denied me access to our daughter, her adviser from a firm of solicitors wrote to the school and asked me to contact them for access. My solicitor says that it's very unusual and that it can be helpful because any notes can be requested and they can be asked to attend a hearing if needed. There was no legal reason for me to be having supervised sessions at that point.

I am dealing with a woman who is way above her station but I thought that the judge (female) at the first hearing was neutral and will hopefully pull her down a peg or four.
 
Challenge it at court (in a witness statement when time comes, and trascribe recording of school saying that and tell judge there's evidence if he wishes to see it). Evidence has to carry weight.

Cafcass said the school said in those circumstances is hearsay. Court has to assess the weight under the Civil Evidence Act weight criteria (and as you can transcribe and produce a recording it won't carry any weight - plus it will be fun for you to make cafcass look rediculous in front of a judge).

Civil Evidence Act 1995

An Act to provide for the admissibility of hearsay evidence, the proof of certain documentary evidence and the admissibility and proof of official actuarial tables in civil proceedings; and for connected purposes.
www.legislation.gov.uk www.legislation.gov.uk

It helps your case, because it can be used to challenge cafcass credibility.
 
BrainDad said:
Challenge it at court (in a witness statement when time comes, and trascribe recording of school saying that and tell judge there's evidence if he wishes to see it). Evidence has to carry weight.

Cafcass said the school said in those circumstances is hearsay. Court has to assess the weight under the Civil Evidence Act weight criteria (and as you can transcribe and produce a recording it won't carry any weight - plus it will be fun for you to make cafcass look rediculous in front of a judge).

Civil Evidence Act 1995

An Act to provide for the admissibility of hearsay evidence, the proof of certain documentary evidence and the admissibility and proof of official actuarial tables in civil proceedings; and for connected purposes.
www.legislation.gov.uk www.legislation.gov.uk

It helps your case, because it can be used to challenge cafcass credibility.
Click to expand...
That's great insight thanks. I feel like I'm finally on the front foot with my second hearing coming on the 4th November. In my reply to allegations my solicitor proposed that we remove the sentence where I refer to my wife as a pathological liar and I understand that it'll be seen as aggressive so we'll remove it. But she bloody is.
 
Going back to Ashes point, I think it is really important to be clear on whether or not Cafcass spoke to the school directly. If it is ex saying the school said... I'd be really conscious of compromising the schools trust in you by using a covert recording you made of them.

I had "evidence" submitted before my final hearing which said I made a scene at Parents' Evening by having a big argument with the Head. I had to be shooed into a side room to be brought under control apparently. I wrote to the head asking if she could let me know if there had been any issues and if she could offer me any guidance/feedback on the approach I am taking as a parent. She wrote back to me singing my praises. I submitted her email as a late exhibit and read it out in my summing up. It helped me a LOT!

I think this needs to be handled in a very measured and extremely tactical manner. If there is a way of discrediting without putting your neck out that is for the best in my view.

EDIT
I would consider it quite unusual for a direct conversation with the school to take place in preparation of a safeguarding letter.
 
The report showed it was part of the ex's interview - so really it's what the ex told them, not what the school told them - but it's worded to sound like fact. Typical Cafcass report, reporting everything the Mother says as fact.
 
It probably is what ex told cafcass.

But if they attach weight to it and take ex's side in proceedings as they so often do, that gives you the opportunity to use it to challenge the credidility of both ex and cafcass as witnesses.

You ideally want cafcass on your side by being child focussed and low conflict. If that hasn't worked, the only choice left is to challenge their credibilty and get their evidence thrown out by a judge.

And pleadings are confidential to the Court, school isn't a party, so if someone wants to commit contempt of court and tell the school that's their risk and their problem. Aside from someone comitting contempt of court, there's no way for the school to find out. The school doesn't need to know, because you've only acted in the public interest and in the best interests of the child. You've helped the Court further the Overriding Objective, so what's their issue? You've not used it to attack the school and post it on social media.
 
Resolute said:
Going back to Ashes point, I think it is really important to be clear on whether or not Cafcass spoke to the school directly. If it is ex saying the school said... I'd be really conscious of compromising the schools trust in you by using a covert recording you made of them.

I had "evidence" submitted before my final hearing which said I made a scene at Parents' Evening by having a big argument with the Head. I had to be shooed into a side room to be brought under control apparently. I wrote to the head asking if she could let me know if there had been any issues and if she could offer me any guidance/feedback on the approach I am taking as a parent. She wrote back to me singing my praises. I submitted her email as a late exhibit and read it out in my summing up. It helped me a LOT!

I think this needs to be handled in a very measured and extremely tactical manner. If there is a way of discrediting without putting your neck out that is for the best in my view.

EDIT
I would consider it quite unusual for a direct conversation with the school to take place in preparation of a safeguarding letter.
Click to expand...
No the school have had no conversation with CAFCASS they stated clearly.
 
Peanut 21 said:
Would the school tell you in writing what they told you verbally?
Click to expand...
The school have to submit a report to the court about the supervised school sessions that have taken place almost every day for a half hour. Two teachers always present tapping away on their keyboards. On occassions my daughter has said things like 'mummy says we're moving to Germany', 'mummy says that I won't be staying at this school', 'mummy says I might be able to see you in the future', 'mummy says she doesn't like you'. She's been tearful at school and really unsettled because of this abusive language.

On a positive, kind of, whenever I leave she's hanging off my leg asking to come, there's a huge amount of love between us.

I don't know whether the staff will report what they hear my daughter saying about my wifes whisperings but my solicitor says that they can be called to court as witnesses as things progress.
 
Peanut 21 said:
That must be very upsetting for you :-(
Click to expand...
It really is. Especially because it must be so painful for a seven year old who can't process whats going on and why. I hope that the teachers take note but I'm not sure.
This past couple of days I've managed to stop the tears that have come at totally random points throughout the day for five weeks now.
 
Have you seen the reports the schools have written?
My partner had to go to a contact centre for 6 months and he'd get the report after each session. They were very detailed. Hopefully yours will include how your daughter is when you leave.
It might be worth having your own diary after each session with your own notes.
 
Peanut 21 said:
Have you seen the reports the schools have written?
My partner had to go to a contact centre for 6 months and he'd get the report after each session. They were very detailed. Hopefully yours will include how your daughter is when you leave.
It might be worth having your own diary after each session with your own notes.
Click to expand...
Well the contact centre will have the clear brief of what's expected. The school was actually identified by my partner as where I had to go to see my daughter as she decided I wouldn't get access. This set up was nothing to do with the courts or CAFCASS. The court was surprised, said they'd not heard of theschool doing this before. They won't do it past the next court date - 2nd November.

So I doubt that they've kept the standard of notes that the contact centre would because they don't know they were just told:

12. The ********* primary school shall by 4pm on 24 October 2023 file and serve a letter about contact between the father and the child, how the arrangement came into place and how long it can be sustained; the parties have permission to disclose this order to the ********** primary school.

At times I've been tearful but as always loving, kind and interested. My little one has spoken to me about things that she's been told by her mother. I do keep a diary.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top