Reconciling with Estranged Child in Care-CMS not taking financial implications into consideration

[ellism]

Hi,

Long and short of it.

like many others I was alienated form seeing my 2 children from ex partner-they grew up being led to believe that someone else was their Father.

I have been paying CSA/CMS since separation to the mother and have tried many times over the years to re connect with them-but my requests fell on deaf ears

I was recently contacted by Social Services to to inform me, that my eldest daughter was unfortunately, placed into care.

Since being informed of this, I have been in contact daily with my daughter, and with the support of Social Services, I am now in daily contact and also see my daughter twice a month.(would be more, but Geographically impossible)

The problem I am now facing is, that CMS are not taking into account the costs incurred for now having my daughter back in my life, for the Payment I make to the ex, for my other child. I have stated that I am going to be suffering financially if they do not amend the Payment Plan they have in place for my 1 child.

I have provided CMS with all the info etc and informed them of the 2 journeys a month to see her, entertainment costs, and a monthly Direct Debit to pay for my Daughters contact lenses all come at a cost, appx £400 a month, and therefore should be taken into consideration for my finances.

CMS have rejected every claim stating that my daughter is under care of the State and I do not have any financial responsibility for her at all.

Please advise, if you are able to.

Thankyou

 

[Ash]

That sounds a bit confusing. If she's in the care of the state, why are you paying ex CMS for her? Or have I misunderstood. Are you trying to get the CMS for the other child reduced due to the costs of seeing the older one? I don't think you'll get anywhere with that. It's black and white. You pay CMS for the younger one, and, as a parent, you just fork out for the older one as other parents do.

Have you asked social services about having your older daughter come and live with you? Can't be great being in care.

 

[ellism]

Thanks for getting back to me Ash, appreciate it.

My daughter, who is currently in care, is only 15, I am paying maintenance for my other child who is with the mother.

I understand that I am responsible financially for my second child, via CMS, but confused as to why, CMS are not taking into consideration the financial costs of rebuilding my relationship with my daughter.

CMS are stating that I pay £400 a month to ex partner for my youngest child, but dismissing the amount of money I am now paying towards my daughter having her father back in her life,

I do not believe it is morally right, for the state to place individuals in financial difficulty, or place them in a position , where an alienated parent is unable to afford to rebuild their relationship with their child because their child is apparently funded entirely by the state.

I requested that CMS take into consideration the financial costs of having and rebuilding my relationship with my daughter,

 

[Ash]

I don't think you'll get anywhere with that - sorry. It's black and white. You're assessed for your youngest and that's that. Any other costs you have, the CMS doesn't get involved with - except possibly travel costs to see a child you're paying CMS for.

Teenagers do get expensive as well. If your elder daughter lived with you, you could claim child benefit, which is about £25 a week, but needs to be applied for before she is 16. It's not very much but basically pays for school dinners. Have you discussed with social services about the possibility of her living with you instead of being in care? Surely that would be better for both of you?

 

[Dadosaurus]

Firstly, sorry to hear that your daughter went into care. That cannot have been easy to hear and I feel for you.

CMS are correct in saying that your daughter’s expenses will be picked up by the local authority, as the local authority acts as a corporate parent for looked after young people.
This will cover her contact lenses and any other necessities.

So with that in mind, CMS will look at what you spend to see her as optional costs. It’s sad but true.

Are you involved with your daughter’s social worker or carer?
It used to be that looked after children could mention to their social workers if there is anyone they aren’t seeing that they would like to see. They have been known to contribute financially to these arrangements too, and actively encourage positive communication depending on the nature of the order.

Have you approached them about the possibility of her move in with you?