Guest viewing is limited

Post FHDRA advice

C

coggers1980

New member
Member
Aft all,

I had my fhdra this week with both of us represented.

My ex didn't raise much of anything, other than to seek my permission to take child on holiday, which I agreed to.

2 days later I'm notified that her barrister has decided to add to the draft order, despite never raising these with the court.

Ex now seeking to change my daughter's name and have her shown as living with her.

My barrister has raised this as an issue and that neither is agreed.

My question is, is this the sort of behaviour that I can expect and presumably it would not be seen as correct procedure by the court?!

Hopefully someone with experience can offer some advice.
Thanks G
 
Hi @coggers1980 ,

Firstly welcome to the forum, sorry to hear that you've has to go to court to resolve the childcare disagreements.

From what you've stated can I assume that you are the Respondent? It was your Wife/Partner that submitted the C100?

It looks like she's not making or made any allegations against you which is good news and makes it slightly easier process even if it's still a painful journey for you and the kids.

You can request court transcripts which is worth doing in case you need the proof later on about what was actually discussed.

What has your Barrister/Solicitor stated about their ability to force a wrong order through?

MJ
 
No I'm the applicant.

She made allegations on her paperwork, solely for 'emotional harm' that was from 2/3 years ago. We shared custody for 3 years, but in past 12 months she has stopped contact citing child doesn't wanna see me, (who is now just 10). This was not even raised at court.

Just seems very underhand and an abuse of the process. I'm struggling to see why it wasn't mentioned.
 
That’s crap! These barristers can be sneaky buggers! Apparently it does happen and barristers can do a quick deal exchange after the court proceedings.
I had it at my last hearing! I received the order drafted by my own barrister and in there it mentioned I lose my Friday week 1 time with my daughter once my over night started which means my daughter goes a full week without seeing me. I brought this up with solicitor who was present and she didn’t have it in her notes. I brought it up with ex who confirmed she isn’t taking it away. The solicitors then exchanged letters to try and resolve and of course my ex solicitor will have advised her to take it away so she did! So I lost my Friday through barristers being sneaky!! Some of them are snakes some of them are saints! But yes it’s proper shit hey!
 
I have experienced this before, they try to portray a false narrative and change wording and even remove things from a draft order which were agreed previously in court.

I find it so frustrating all the sneaky underhanded things they do. And even more annoying is that NOTHING happens to them for doing it.

When I was self representing at a hearing, I asked the judge to draft the order due to the above reasons and the judge did.
 
Thanks for the comments. Heard that the court told my ex to do one and apply separately. Good news but more cost of she does! #smallgains
 
coggers1980 said:
We shared custody for 3 years, but in past 12 months she has stopped contact citing child doesn't wanna see me, (who is now just 10). This was not even raised at court.
Click to expand...
What's triggered her change? Do you have a new partner or does she?
My partner had exact same thing happen after 3 years of being civil to going off the rails when the ex found out about me.
Kids don't want to stop seeing their dad without input from their mothers.
 
She got with someone else about 6 months after we split and moved him into the house (my house - I moved out). They have had 2 kids since then so I'm seen as surplus.

All went downhill when they came to my house and met my wife and step son, in an effort to sort it all out.

Daughter is now 10 and for past 12 months has decided she doesn't wanna speak or see me, and ex just goes along with that. "Won't force her" etc etc.

Hopefully court / Cafcass see it for what it is, but I don't hold out much hope!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ash
Ah ok.
Have you read anything by Karen Woodall? She writes articles about parental alienation.
This isn't your daughters real wishes. She's giving into what her mother wants.

We haven't seen my partners daughter in 19 months but things have escalated a lot since the first round of hearings in 2019. It seems cafcass and the courts are finally seeing mother is influencing her daughter into rejecting dad.
Don't give up hope.
 
If you both had barristers and you were the applicant, your barrister should have written up the order. I would take that up with your barrister. Your ex can't get away with an interim order giving her a "residence" order just because she wants that.

I've also been in a similar situation although my son was 8 when ex decided I was no longer needed and in the way of her new nice lifestyle.

So if that was an FHDRA - do you know what is happening next? Or was it supposed to be a consent order that was reached at that hearing and no further hearings? Lawyers for ex's will do all sorts to "win" the case for their client.
 
Presume my barrister did initial draft, and ex's added the other two parts. Mine emailed the court to oppose it, which they ultimately did.

I have to now wait for a S7 and Dra is in early June. Im allowed to video call once a week, as ex refused any sort of contact if she wasn't present, even at a contact centre.
 
So court opposed their version and accepted yours? Bit much that she refused time in a contact centre. Ex's barrister was really trying it on there.
 
Ash said:
So court opposed their version and accepted yours? Bit much that she refused time in a contact centre. Ex's barrister was really trying it on there.
Click to expand...

I had this happen to me, ex first agreed to a contact centre but refused to share the costs so I paid upfront. Then she cancelled everything 2 days before the first visit. Now months later she's using the "it's unfamiliar for the child and will be damaging" excuse.

I honestly don't know how they get away with torturing children like this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ash
Yeah they accepted my version.

Ex has refused any contact past 12 months, unless she is there. We separated 4 1/2 years ago and split care 60/40 over 3 years, with minimal issues.

As she is the issue ive had to stand my ground and insist she isnt there. I suggested contact centre, her mother being there or my dad; all refused.

I agree that manipulation like this amounts to abuse, but sadly all the chips are in mother's favour.
 
That is a problem at FHDRA when some Judges won't order interim time unless the Mother agrees. Some Barristers do manage to persuade the Judge to do it though, as Winger will vouch for. But every case is different and sometimes it depends on the Judge. Was it Magistrates? I totally agree with Dadlad - how can they put kids through this. It's outrageous - you're a parent for heavens sake, not a stranger with a criminal record.

Hang in there as I am sure Cafcass will recommend time. What allegations has she made?
 
It was a legal advisor, so I was always on to a loser! Magistrates at next appearance, which in my experience isn't much better (criminal court and prosecuting side to clarify!).

Allegations were of emotional harm, two from 2020 (when she was happy for me to still have her), and 3 from past 12 months. All very minor and what my barrister classed as ’parenting'. I'll add that ex wasn't present at any of these allegations, so as far as I'm concerned there is no evidence, and it is her creating a narrative to justify her behaviour in refusing contact.

Her barrister didn't even raise these at court (no one did), so how that works from here on in I'm not sure.

Only thing I'm sure of is in this whole process, is that I should have gone down the family law career, as they are the ones that benefit from all this £££.
 
Peanut 21 said:
Ah ok.
Have you read anything by Karen Woodall? She writes articles about parental alienation.
This isn't your daughters real wishes. She's giving into what her mother wants.

We haven't seen my partners daughter in 19 months but things have escalated a lot since the first round of hearings in 2019. It seems cafcass and the courts are finally seeing mother is influencing her daughter into rejecting dad.
Don't give up hope.
Click to expand...
This was an interesting podcast, albeit from 2018.

www.communitycare.co.uk

Parental alienation: what it is and how it's different from implacable hostility

New podcast covers the complicated and sometimes controversial topic of parental alienation
www.communitycare.co.uk www.communitycare.co.uk
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top