Hi All
For what its worth - my interview went fine with Cafcass. I didn't make any allegations, just talked about the children.
The report came back some time ago and I was surprised to see that they had recorded every single allegation that the ex could have made up on the day. Some rehashed from before the divorce, some new ones, but all of them about THE PAST.
I was not surprised she made these allegations, but I was sisappointed that the Cafcass report included them in its report.
Now, simply because of these allegations ("has has an addiction to porn" / "he smokes weed" (both of which seem quite bizarre, and are untrue btw, happy to take a drug test any time), also that I took an "inapporpriate" picture of my son (it was a pic of our now deceased dog, with my son laying naked on his side next to the dog - perfectly harmless and something I'm sure most families have of their 4 year olds) the report has recommended the following:
(I should mention we are a few days away from the FHDR, I am applying for 50/50 shared child arrangements)
"Additional undertakings or recitals may be required to address appropriate and positive communication, alcohol and ‘weed’ usage"
There were no other recommendations, no safeguarding issue - but this shows that making an allegation with no evidence (the alcohol and herb usage) can directly translate to the FHDR.
Now, the order pertaining to the FHDR states:
"The proceedings are allocated to a District Judge because of allegations of significant behaviours which
are at risk of causing significant harm to the relevant child to include an inappropriate photograph of one of
the children and allegation of addiction to pornography"
And so this shows that making allegations, without proof, about THE PAST, pertaining to an unhappy marriage, can help dictate the agenda for the FHDR.
I have challenged the court about this over the past two months, made several complaints, and the response was:
You were informed that statements can be filed with the court and serve position statements on each other without the Court directing these.
The case is listed for a FHDRA before a Judge on <date> and therefore the legal team do not think they need to review the previous directions made.
And so I have submitted a position statement, ignoring her allegations and just focused on the children, etc.
I just wanted to share this with the community - that making allegations (about the past marriage) can influence, at least in the wording and framing, the directions of the FDHR. A friend of mine happens to be a family court judge and assures me that historical claims are ignored, but it just seems to me an unholy unfairness that any allegation can infiltrate its way into the documentation of the court process.
For what its worth - my interview went fine with Cafcass. I didn't make any allegations, just talked about the children.
The report came back some time ago and I was surprised to see that they had recorded every single allegation that the ex could have made up on the day. Some rehashed from before the divorce, some new ones, but all of them about THE PAST.
I was not surprised she made these allegations, but I was sisappointed that the Cafcass report included them in its report.
Now, simply because of these allegations ("has has an addiction to porn" / "he smokes weed" (both of which seem quite bizarre, and are untrue btw, happy to take a drug test any time), also that I took an "inapporpriate" picture of my son (it was a pic of our now deceased dog, with my son laying naked on his side next to the dog - perfectly harmless and something I'm sure most families have of their 4 year olds) the report has recommended the following:
(I should mention we are a few days away from the FHDR, I am applying for 50/50 shared child arrangements)
"Additional undertakings or recitals may be required to address appropriate and positive communication, alcohol and ‘weed’ usage"
There were no other recommendations, no safeguarding issue - but this shows that making an allegation with no evidence (the alcohol and herb usage) can directly translate to the FHDR.
Now, the order pertaining to the FHDR states:
"The proceedings are allocated to a District Judge because of allegations of significant behaviours which
are at risk of causing significant harm to the relevant child to include an inappropriate photograph of one of
the children and allegation of addiction to pornography"
And so this shows that making allegations, without proof, about THE PAST, pertaining to an unhappy marriage, can help dictate the agenda for the FHDR.
I have challenged the court about this over the past two months, made several complaints, and the response was:
You were informed that statements can be filed with the court and serve position statements on each other without the Court directing these.
The case is listed for a FHDRA before a Judge on <date> and therefore the legal team do not think they need to review the previous directions made.
And so I have submitted a position statement, ignoring her allegations and just focused on the children, etc.
I just wanted to share this with the community - that making allegations (about the past marriage) can influence, at least in the wording and framing, the directions of the FDHR. A friend of mine happens to be a family court judge and assures me that historical claims are ignored, but it just seems to me an unholy unfairness that any allegation can infiltrate its way into the documentation of the court process.
