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Male vs Female Cafcass officer?
- Thread starter DadLad
- Start date
I think the male ones are rarer?
My partner had 2 different female cafcass officers over past 5 years. Both been fair and seen through mothers allegations.
I'd actually change the comparison to cafcass v social services regardless to gender.
Social services have been awful and made judgments based on not seeing dad with kids or even meeting him. Where as cafcass been more in depth.
Sorry, hijacked your original question.
My partner had 2 different female cafcass officers over past 5 years. Both been fair and seen through mothers allegations.
I'd actually change the comparison to cafcass v social services regardless to gender.
Social services have been awful and made judgments based on not seeing dad with kids or even meeting him. Where as cafcass been more in depth.
Sorry, hijacked your original question.
My experience.
Had a male Cafcass officer do my safeguarding letter. He was pretty straight to the point and made recommendations based on what the two parents agreed on. Was reasonable, given the scary stories i've heard. He spotted the issue being mainly one of trust between the parents and that no risks for the child.
When I got to court, however, a very junior female cafcass officer was there. She only spoke to the mother, only read the mothers position statement and made recommendations (against what the safeguarding letter said). She then said no contact, supervised contact centre, fact finding etc.
Fortunately, the judge didn't listen to that cafcass officer.
Like the comment above, Social services so far have been biased. making statements of fact on things they haven't investigated, having secret meetings with mum, but not with dad, not sharing documents or decisions. Never speaking to Dad. Truly awful.
Had a male Cafcass officer do my safeguarding letter. He was pretty straight to the point and made recommendations based on what the two parents agreed on. Was reasonable, given the scary stories i've heard. He spotted the issue being mainly one of trust between the parents and that no risks for the child.
When I got to court, however, a very junior female cafcass officer was there. She only spoke to the mother, only read the mothers position statement and made recommendations (against what the safeguarding letter said). She then said no contact, supervised contact centre, fact finding etc.
Fortunately, the judge didn't listen to that cafcass officer.
Like the comment above, Social services so far have been biased. making statements of fact on things they haven't investigated, having secret meetings with mum, but not with dad, not sharing documents or decisions. Never speaking to Dad. Truly awful.
I’ve only had female ones and had one particularly vicious one twice. I will never forget her - a man hating bully. The first one I had was quite fair but a bit wishy washy and crumbled a bit under fire from my ex who bombarded her.
Of the ones on the phone interviews. First one was very good. One I had for an enforcement hearing was rude abrupt and didn’t let me say anything.
I agree social services are probably worse. Only had that experience once (not court related) and she believed everything my ex said - seemed biased and hadnt got xxxxxibg clue about parental alienation. However after talking to me she did realise what my ex was up to. And the report was in my favour. But she also created more problems by advising my ex she could change the odd thing she didn’t like, as the “resident “ parent.
Of the ones on the phone interviews. First one was very good. One I had for an enforcement hearing was rude abrupt and didn’t let me say anything.
I agree social services are probably worse. Only had that experience once (not court related) and she believed everything my ex said - seemed biased and hadnt got xxxxxibg clue about parental alienation. However after talking to me she did realise what my ex was up to. And the report was in my favour. But she also created more problems by advising my ex she could change the odd thing she didn’t like, as the “resident “ parent.
First caffcass officer was male. Listened to me and adviced magistrate that interim 3 days a week contact to continue and highlighted low level conflict on both sides. Next caffcass officer was a women told me she didn’t want to here any issues I had with ex , 5 minute phone call and recommended supervised contact 2 hrs every other week if I wanted it.
Firstly, Cafcass are biased towards mothers and I think there is an element of laziness involved in their recommendations. It's just a job to them, and it's also easier to recommend the status quo, which seems to be every other weekend and one night a week.
If they recommend more, then it's at their risk as they would be made accountable should something go wrong. It's a shame that there isn't a record of what Cafcass recommend to highlight this.
I had two female Cafcass officers. 1st one recommended every other weekend and one day a week, the second (6months later) went up to 5 nights a fortnight. The second had clearly read the bundle and therefore ignored the ex's rubbish but still didn't recommend 50:50. Perhaps they also want to ensure mother's are paid CM by the father.
If they recommend more, then it's at their risk as they would be made accountable should something go wrong. It's a shame that there isn't a record of what Cafcass recommend to highlight this.
I had two female Cafcass officers. 1st one recommended every other weekend and one day a week, the second (6months later) went up to 5 nights a fortnight. The second had clearly read the bundle and therefore ignored the ex's rubbish but still didn't recommend 50:50. Perhaps they also want to ensure mother's are paid CM by the father.
There is an element of CMS yes. Some Cafcass officers do recommend 50/50 but it depends on the circumstances.
I also think they are biased toward Mothers, but it’s more than that - they seem to have this belief (as do a lot of Mothers) that a child is better with one main home and just enough “contact” to keep up a relationship with Dad. This is archaic and sexist as fails to recognise the importance of a Father and a home life with a Father. They seem to be being child focused by the belief a child should have one main home, but actually they’re not being child focused - because before separation, kids were used to living with both parents anyway. Of course they need regular time with both parents. A home doesn’t replace a relationship. Kids can be happy with two homes. Home is where the heart is - and I’d like to see that tattooed on Cafcass officers. Or at least prominent in their literature.
I also think they are biased toward Mothers, but it’s more than that - they seem to have this belief (as do a lot of Mothers) that a child is better with one main home and just enough “contact” to keep up a relationship with Dad. This is archaic and sexist as fails to recognise the importance of a Father and a home life with a Father. They seem to be being child focused by the belief a child should have one main home, but actually they’re not being child focused - because before separation, kids were used to living with both parents anyway. Of course they need regular time with both parents. A home doesn’t replace a relationship. Kids can be happy with two homes. Home is where the heart is - and I’d like to see that tattooed on Cafcass officers. Or at least prominent in their literature.
My cafcass officer was female and she was good. She made the effort to see what was going on and recognised that what ex was saying didn't add up.
I also agree that support workers and social workers don't approach in the same way. Always speak to the Mother first and usually the kids. It's like their mind is made up before they speak to the Father. I had a report from a support worker and it was clear she hadn't paid any attention to what I'd said and didn't even bother reading the s7. Thankfully her report didn't matter too much as the court order was in place and this was just a piece of work to iron out one or two things.
I also agree that support workers and social workers don't approach in the same way. Always speak to the Mother first and usually the kids. It's like their mind is made up before they speak to the Father. I had a report from a support worker and it was clear she hadn't paid any attention to what I'd said and didn't even bother reading the s7. Thankfully her report didn't matter too much as the court order was in place and this was just a piece of work to iron out one or two things.
I think that if you don’t have your wits about you and if you don’t stand firm for what you KNOW is best for your own children then they will just give you the bare minimum.
I think it’s pot luck with who is appointed your case, same with Judges. You can get some who are lazy, archaic and stuck in the dark ages, then you can get some who can see through everything and act with fairness and impartiality.
I think it’s pot luck with who is appointed your case, same with Judges. You can get some who are lazy, archaic and stuck in the dark ages, then you can get some who can see through everything and act with fairness and impartiality.