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Looking for advice and guidance

DaddyD

Well-known member
Ok sometimes there isn't any joined up communication between services. Social services said to get the solicitor to do an emergency application. To me that means an ex parte order for the kids to stay with you until investigations are completed - either same day or next day hearing. But. It's a bank holiday week-end so I guess the court won't be open till Tuesday (not sure about that). And the non mol gets there Tuesday and the Solicitor said do the emergency hearing when she;s got the non mol (presumably because she can't do it before Tuesday).

So sounds to me like you need to be emailing the solicitor and saying you want to do the emergency hearing first thing on Tuesday and social services said to get an emergency order.

Although social services said this to you, do you have anything in writing? I think sometimes they need that or the social worker to attend to verify. Unless your solicitor knows otherwise.
Tbh I’m not sure my solicitor has the contact details for my contact at the children services so I’m guessing that she will speak to her on Tuesday morning to sort this out I don’t have anything in writing from the social services it was just what she recommended me to do on the phone to get my solicitor to do an emergency cao, my wife has done some things too like not send the kids to school for nearly a week (last week ) just so I can’t goto see them as she is out the country atm on holiday with her daughter and not back until Monday evening but my kids are with her parents so the school and ss are not happy she has done this. But as far as I’m aware they will be at a school Tuesday and I will go to see them for the 1st time in nearly a month just so my kids know I am not giving up on them as they must think daddy has left us as not seen them for ages. I think this way my eldest may speak out more about what he has witnessed my wife doing to me and more
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Does anyone know what sort of question cafcass will ask me ? I know it will mostly be about the children as that’s what’s in my best interest, it’s really playing on my mind and quiet scary

DaddyD
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Do you mean for a section 7 report? Ok so that is more of a chat and you talking to them and you can steer that to some degree. They are more assessing you than anything.

If you mean at an urgent court hearing they probably won't ask questions, just be there and observe or advise. They may ask you about some of the things that have happened, just like social services. Cafcass are court social worker.s

If it's the telephone interview they don't ask that many questions really. They can sometimes start by saying something like "your ex says xyz" and seeing what you say in response. If they have spoken to your ex first. Again it's an opportunity for you to tell them things. They'll have already read what you put in your application. If it's going to a section 7 and there's already been an urgent hearing it may be very brief and them just say they need to contact social services or advise a section 7 and not much more.

The key thing when talking to Cafcass is to keep it child focused. About the children - not a kind of slagging off of the other parent. Although obviously when verified allegations are involved there will be some mention of your partner there.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Do you mean for a section 7 report? Ok so that is more of a chat and you talking to them and you can steer that to some degree. They are more assessing you than anything.

If you mean at an urgent court hearing they probably won't ask questions, just be there and observe or advise. They may ask you about some of the things that have happened, just like social services. Cafcass are court social worker.s

If it's the telephone interview they don't ask that many questions really. They can sometimes start by saying something like "your ex says xyz" and seeing what you say in response. If they have spoken to your ex first. Again it's an opportunity for you to tell them things. They'll have already read what you put in your application. If it's going to a section 7 and there's already been an urgent hearing it may be very brief and them just say they need to contact social services or advise a section 7 and not much more.

The key thing when talking to Cafcass is to keep it child focused. About the children - not a kind of slagging off of the other parent. Although obviously when verified allegations are involved there will be some mention of your partner there.
Thank you ash, I will keep you updated as to what happens it’s just so scary as I’m doing this on my own
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Just keep coming on here - we can give you tips along the way.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
I contacted my childrens school to ask them if I can see them in the week but the school head said to contact children services to arrange a supervised session to see them ? Why would I need to be supervised when I was the victim of DV, and also my children . It seems very wrong as I should be able to see them as it was my ex who was the one physically hitting me mentally controlling me and cohersive behaviour towards me and then the reheating of hitting the kids and doing it to them too literally chucking my youngest across the floor, giveing her daughter a black lip ….. why would the school say to get supervised visitation ? Any ideas or would this just to safeguard the children . It’s ripping me in half
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Schools are advised not to get involved or caught in the middle of disagreement between parents. Unless it says in a court order that you can see the children, they won't be helpful. They are also covering themselves by saying someone would need to supervise - but yes it's a bad attitude.

Have you written formally to the school to inform them of the current situation? If not, do so. Avoid the temptation to say bad stuff about the Mother, but just say you are writing to ask that the school informs you of any concerns regarding the children due to recent social services investigation. Tell them you have been advised by social services to apply for an emergency court order and ask the school to offer any support needed to your children, at this stressful and concerning time for them. And that you will keep them updated as to any court orders made.
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
If you write to them formally, they have to take it seriously and report any concerns.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Hi Ash
Yes the school has been made aware of this as I approached them a few months ago and said things were happening at home but didn’t go into detail about the Dv obviously not the police have informed them about the dv I have suffered and also what happened to the kids too. It may just be to safeguard the kids at school so they don’t have any problems with my ex finding out if I see the kids at school . The head did say she will keep xxxx informed of the children and how they are doing at school etc last I spoke to her last week she said the kids was very subdued (. Depressed ) as they have not seen me and they miss me terribly . I think il have to contact social services to try and arrange me seeing them in the morning
 
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DaddyD

Well-known member
Hi Ash
Do you know about child maintance , my ex is telling me I have to pay child maintaiance even though she is still not letting me see them, I had a letter today from csa saying I have to contact them as she is saying I have to pay as I don’t see the kids at all and not staying with me even though I am still trying to arrange the emergency child arrangement order with the solicitor and courts so I can either get 50/50 or full custody of my boys .
 

mva

Well-known member
Hi Ash
Do you know about child maintance , my ex is telling me I have to pay child maintaiance even though she is still not letting me see them, I had a letter today from csa saying I have to contact them as she is saying I have to pay as I don’t see the kids at all and not staying with me even though I am still trying to arrange the emergency child arrangement order with the solicitor and courts so I can either get 50/50 or full custody of my boys .
yep you have to pay CM even if not seeing them and as its based on overnight calculation then it will be based on a higher rate. Once you gain overnights then the rate will change. whole system is wrong
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Even though she is refusing me to access to even see the kids or talk to them on the phone And I’m taking her to court to get custody of them
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Yes better if you contact the CMS yourself and ask them to assess you (and explain the situation). Unfortunately you will need to pay her CMS as it's the law. The amount is reduced by the number of overnights you have so clearly an incentive for her to prevent nights (with 50/50 she will get nothing so an incentive to prevent you having that too). So she "holds" the kids, so gets the CM.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Yes better if you contact the CMS yourself and ask them to assess you (and explain the situation). Unfortunately you will need to pay her CMS as it's the law. The amount is reduced by the number of overnights you have so clearly an incentive for her to prevent nights (with 50/50 she will get nothing so an incentive to prevent you having that too). So she "holds" the kids, so gets the CM.
I think it’s disgusting I mean I don’t mind paying for them as they are my children but she is not even letting me see them or even speak to them on the phone she is refusing any access at all even though she is in the wrong with the dv against me and the children, I asked for 50/50 she said no every weekend or every other weekend I’m still in the process of getting an emergency child arrangement order but it’s taking it’s time. She was issued with a non molestation last week so she can’t contact me But that hasn’t stopped other people calling me and threatening me over the phone! As I say I’ll call cms tomorrow explain and see what they say if I have to pay it I will and won’t refuse as it will go against her in court of I’m paying and she is stilll refusing me access . Thanks Ash , I will keep you updated

DaddyD
 
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Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Could you agree to "every week-end" in the meantime? It looks better if you accept anything offered while the process is going on.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
Could you agree to "every week-end" in the meantime? It looks better if you accept anything offered while the process is going on.
She won’t even let me see them she has completely stopped me, why I don’t know ash !
 

Ash

Administrator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Because you've applied to court. Do you have any communication with her? Eg by text.
 

DaddyD

Well-known member
No, as I have the non molestation order against her she is not allowed to contact me she has to go through my solicitors or 3rd party my sister but last thing she said to me was you won’t see the kids and nor will ur family that was nearly a month ago now . She is point blank refusing to let me see the kids
 
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