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Journey of Self - Topic#1 - 'Survival Mode'

MagicJ

Experienced member
Member
So, the first question I'd like everyone to think about is:

What is SURVIVAL MODE, how would you define your behaviour when in it & how long did you stay in it?
 
I think I’ve been in survival mode since my ex announced she was pregnant. (Long after we split up). It does affect your health with the stress and shocks and so on - and the lack of control.
 
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Thanks for sharing all, everyone's experiences are welcome.

It's important to identify and recognise that we exist in different states and this causes behavioural change that can have a long term detrimental impact.

I often recall @Ash advice to those members suffering from parental alienation - it doesn't take long, away from the negative exposures, for behaviour to start correcting itself.

Survival Mode is useful but when we spend so long in this stage of existence we can find it difficult coping with and existing outside of this state of being - a side effect of the constantly negative reinforcing behaviours of an EX.

I feel the pragmatic advice from a lot of experienced members is just as important in this regard for our own long term mental health and well being, namely:

try to balance pragmatically the search for a 100% of everything against the duration a case can take going a full course through the family court system

Moving forward with 75%, if it achieves your key outcomes, will allow a faster recovery, better parenting and a platform to build on.


So some follow up questions to ask yourself and honestly reflect on:

What systems have you all put in place to stop a slide back to a permanent residence in survival Mode?

What actions and steps are you taking to support your move out of survival?

Are you wanting to stay here because you feel it helps achieve outcomes though the family court process, even at the price it takes from you?

MJ
 
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