I keep getting told not to use the term Alienation or brainwashing? so what do we say?

[Alocacoc]

As above really people keep telling me if I get a chance to speak to anyone in authority dont tell them the other parent is brainwashing the child

thats exactly what it is though

It seems whenever I want help they all say "sounds like a dispute between you & mom"

Ive heard the same reply about 6 times

How can we word things any different for them to at least take a little notice?

 

[MagicJ]

It's a careful process.

You need to look at the list of alienating behaviours, pick out examples from your experience that show each of them.

After that it's about giving those examples to people of authority and hoping they can read between the lines.

I would recommend reading on the Woodalls site, blog etc on how to challenge this in the process.

Hope that Helps

 

[Peanut 21]

Agree with MJ.
You can say 'alienating behaviours' with examples.
But parental alienation isn't a condition that can be diagnosed. So from a legal point of view only a psychologist could suggest it's happening.

 

[Ash]

You can say the Mother is manipulating the child. Or things like the Mother is actively discouraging the child from seeing you. Or describe the behaviours and say the Mother is creating a conflict of loyalties for the child. Having said all that, it is better to be cautious when not presenting evidence, at saying these things, and to skirt around it. Those things are more for a final hearing where you can evidence what you say. And even then, while a Barrister may be able to say that, if you, as a parent, say it - it's an allegation! And seen as attacking the Mother. For a position statement you would describe situations and behaviours and let the court draw their own conclusions.

Think about it like going to the Doctors. Doctors don't like it if you go in and say - I have a left heart murmur and this is causing palpitations (if you've never been diagnosed previously) - because that is self diagnosing and you're not the Doctor. You go in and you describe your symptoms and let the Doctor, the expert, determine the diagnosis.

Same kind of thing. Courts don't like being given a diagnosis by a parent. They like to make the diagnosis based on the information given.

So you need to keep it child focused - explain the effects on the child of certain actions and behaviours by the Mother for example. Don't make it an allegation against the Mother or it backfires.

 

[Alocacoc]

ok thanks for the replies, I best get practicing

 

[BrainDad]

I agree with others, focus on the alienating behaviours and the evidence of those behaviours.

Karen Woodall blog is very informatitve re PA.

The 5 factor model if PA is useful to know:

The Five Factor Model

Parental Alienation - The Five Factor Model Parental alienation (PA) has been documented and discussed in the social, legal and mental health literature for over 100 years now. This has resulted in confusion and disagreement among practitioners, clinicians and academics regarding what PA is and...

parentalalienation.eu

And the 17 alienating strategies:

17 Alienating Strategies

17 Parental Alienation Strategies Beyond the High Road: Responding to 17 Parental Alienation Strategies without Compromising Your Morals or Harming Your Child. Amy Baker & Paul Fine, May 2008 If you have been affected by a number of the strategies below, it is potentially a case of Parental...

parentalalienation.eu

Don't expect much help from Cafcass on the issue, but PA is a finding of fact for the Court not a diagnosis for Cafcass to make so they have to suck it up if you have evidence and can prove it to a Court at a FFH.

Karen Woodall gives a very insightful summary of how Cafcass are trained to view you, which is helpful in knowing how to navigate that:

Parental Alienation and the High Conflict Myth

A conflict, by definition, must involve two or more sides (unless it is within you). Therefore if parental alienation is about high conflict divorce it must mean that both of you are fighting. …

karenwoodall.blog

 

[Peanut 21]

On the recent Karen Woodall blog she posted this:

Hearing the Voices of Formerly Alienated Children​

Our project with formerly alienated children who are now adults will shortly begin to deliver outputs and we are looking forward to launching something very new for children and young people at risk of this form of harm in 2024. We will shortly be holding a private seminar in the Palace of Westminster to inform MPs and policy makers about the harm suffered by children in divorce and separation and I will write more about that after the event.

Let's hope it's a small step to policy change.