Tonight I got a message from some good friends, a couple I've known for years, met through my ex. They have known my ex and her family for much longer.
They've stood by me through all this stuff, but at the same time never wanted to choose sides so have remained friends with ex as well. They don't want to talk about any of it, they feel a bit stuck in the middle.
Tonight they messaged to say they're going to have to put the friendship on hold, as the ex and her family are distancing themselves from them, and have been ignoring them.
I've basically said they're making the wrong choice, they're choosing people who are making them choose, while all this time basically ignoring them, just because they remain friends with me. I've said friends don't do that, I wouldn't do that, I haven't made them choose or tried to stop them talking to ex or her family. But they've been ignored by them, and now obviously making them choose, even if not directly, but coercively, by ignoring them, and distancing from them.
And my ex accuses ME of control and coercive behaviour! I wouldn't be surprised if the ex's mum has a big part in this too, she is a huge manipulator.
But isn't this crazy, it blows my mind how someone can not see what is going on, that they are making the decision purely based on the length of friendship, even though they are being manipulated themselves, coerced into dropping the friendship with me.
Anyone been through this? Lost friendships because of ex accusing stuff etc?
They've stood by me through all this stuff, but at the same time never wanted to choose sides so have remained friends with ex as well. They don't want to talk about any of it, they feel a bit stuck in the middle.
Tonight they messaged to say they're going to have to put the friendship on hold, as the ex and her family are distancing themselves from them, and have been ignoring them.
I've basically said they're making the wrong choice, they're choosing people who are making them choose, while all this time basically ignoring them, just because they remain friends with me. I've said friends don't do that, I wouldn't do that, I haven't made them choose or tried to stop them talking to ex or her family. But they've been ignored by them, and now obviously making them choose, even if not directly, but coercively, by ignoring them, and distancing from them.
And my ex accuses ME of control and coercive behaviour! I wouldn't be surprised if the ex's mum has a big part in this too, she is a huge manipulator.
But isn't this crazy, it blows my mind how someone can not see what is going on, that they are making the decision purely based on the length of friendship, even though they are being manipulated themselves, coerced into dropping the friendship with me.
Anyone been through this? Lost friendships because of ex accusing stuff etc?