Dont Give Up

[BigLes]

This!!! I am crossing all my fingers and toes for you invisible!

I also want to re-emphasise that it the process is a marathon for the non-resident parent. I was able to convince the judge at the final hearing to award a child care arrangements shared care lives with both parents based on an informal parental agreement, despite ex trying to argue against this with all her might in the final 15 minutes and afterwards in email correspondence. My request was not part of my specific issues application, and very much an after thought after having experienced during the process so much stress and anxiety, crap CAFCASS reports, allegations etc.

The support I got from this site and others really helped me.

Hi Proud Dad, was really encouraging to read your story. May I ask what the number of overnights you were granted is? The reason I ask is that, for now at least due to a 1hr drive between homes, the most overnights I can reasonably ask for is 3 every other weekend plus 7 weeks (our child is only 1 y.o. but these 7 weeks I plan on asking for broadly match up with half of school holidays). Due to the fact that our child will only be living with me for 30% of the year (based on my arithmetic) I’m worried that a judge will say this is not enough to be classed as “lives with” and is more of a “spends time with” arrangement.

The main motivation for wanting a “lives with” order is so that I can leave England and Wales with our child without the ex’s consent (and if she refuses, I don’t want to pay £260 for a Specific Issues Order each time to overrule her).

In addition, I have a feeling that if a “spends time with” order is granted rather than a “lives with” order, I will be made responsible for all transportation, pick-ups and drop-offs (averaging 3 hours driving a week).

Thanks

 

[proud_dad]

Hi Les

The kids live with me 5 nights in 14, and have an afternoon dinner alternating Thursdays. They spend 40% of their holidays with me.

The lives with order was granted based on the level of involvement I have in the lives of my children. The section 7 school report stated that both parents were equally involved in schooling, I evidenced my role in their upbringing, providing quality care and showing that I'm a stable factor in their lives.

I didn't say anything negative about ex and bit my tongue (hard) when ex tried to portray me as a crap dad.

I think if you want a lives with order, I would focus on the care that you give the kids, and your track record of being a hands on father. Avoid raising travel and passports, as well as discussion about logistics.

Good luck!