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Dont Give Up

InvisibleIntellectual

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All,

Some of you know me from other site(s) - but I am here to tell you DO NOT GIVE UP in your fight, in the last week there has been significant positive progress in my case, I cant as yet go into the details, due to the court process needing more time (I have another hearing to go through), but above all else, given all the crap I have been through and all the rounds of court, good things do happen.

When I can I will update here - but please, whatever you do, don't give up hope.

Invis
 
This!!! I am crossing all my fingers and toes for you invisible!

I also want to re-emphasise that it the process is a marathon for the non-resident parent. I was able to convince the judge at the final hearing to award a child care arrangements shared care lives with both parents based on an informal parental agreement, despite ex trying to argue against this with all her might in the final 15 minutes and afterwards in email correspondence. My request was not part of my specific issues application, and very much an after thought after having experienced during the process so much stress and anxiety, crap CAFCASS reports, allegations etc.

The support I got from this site and others really helped me.
 
I hope all goes well for you. I have finally got my court paperwork through and am about to start dealing with Cafcass. I have thought about giving up, my ex has constantly slated me made false allegations against me and even has one of my children doing the same. I’ve often thought how can I fight this on my own, then I think about my children being stuck with her being poisoned against me and the harm that is doing to them. She’s trying to intimidate me hoping I’ll just back off and give her the children, I’m sorry miss it’s not going to happen! As Dads we all have our own inner warrior though hard to find at times it’s there. Dads have a right to see their children so I like many others keep fighting. Hopefully when you update it will be with good news. 🙂
 
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How's it going RJ? Have you got an appointment for the Cafcass call yet? Suggest some preparation. I write notes and have a few reminders on a bit of paper in front of me. Main thing is - don't say anything remotely negative about the Mother. Keep it focused on the kids. Be prepared for things catching you unawares (they have usually already spoken to the Mother before speaking to you so may challenge you with some of the things your ex claims). Eg they might say Mrs Ex says you have a history of violence and did xyz. Kind of put you on the spot. A good kind of response would be - well Mrs Ex was upset when I declined to continue the relationship and has been very angry ever since. But no I don't have a criminal record and that can be verified. Then try and change the focus onto the kids and say - my eldest and I loved doing xyz together and I'd really like them to have stability and continue their relationships, friendships and activities and have this sorted out so they can see both parents. Plus I really miss them.

It's fine to pause for a few seconds and clear your head before replying - when things like that are dropped on you. Don't miss the phone call - they won't call back.
 
Hi Ash, I’ve just had the paperwork thus far which has said cafcass will be in contact. My ex has a long list of things to say about me none of which are true. I know it says the first hearing is the 28th of this month neither parent to attend. I am nervous about it but I’m sure she’s more nervous as she’s lying through her teeth and is probably in no doubt that her claims are going to be looked in to. I’ve had the same answer for any questions I’ve been asked because I’m telling the truth. At the end of the day I may dislike her and what she’s done but it’s not about me or her it’s about the kids. Hopefully I’ll hear something this week as it seems cafcass don’t have long to complete the report. I’ll keep updating here as and when I can.
 
I’ve had an email this afternoon from cafcass wanting me to provide and confirm contact details. I’ll assume that they will be in contact with me in due course.
 
Yes. Either a further email or a letter in the post with a phone appointment date. So have you had court papers and a hearing date back now?
 
Post removed at poster’s request to be reposted with edits on his thread
 
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RJ - I have responded to your main thread, can you post on that one please so we can keep track of your case and assist where possible?
 
Yes Final Hearing .... I got almost everything I wanted, overnights, unsupervised, holidays abroad, 50% of all school holidays, etc - this has been a horrifically difficult and extrapolated court action ... but its kinda over now.
 
Glad to hear it went well. It gives me hope that things might be ok.

I hope you can enjoy time with your kids now as it sounds like it’s well deserved. 🙂
 
My first CAFCASS worker in the first instance was literally judge and jury, this second one, didnt believe me at first, but after working with them for a while, things turned.
 
(y) Hopefully you can start living a bit now. Glad to hear you’ve got a good order.
 
This is great news - and it is legally binding, so holds more weight than informal agreements. To go through the whole family court process is a testament to how much you love your children!

:)
 
My first CAFCASS worker in the first instance was literally judge and jury, this second one, didnt believe me at first, but after working with them for a while, things turned.
Mine was actually very nice, she listened to what I had to say and though I have mental health problems as thousands do she explained that that has no impact on if you can be or area good parent. I think the fact we’d established that my ex had lied to her literally with the first lines she spoke might have made a difference too.
 
I’ve learned a lot this far in and I’m only just beginning, you’re probably the same as me you’ve learned more than you ever wished to know.
 
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