Creating a Journal / Memoir

[winger]

Hi guys, I wanted to share something simple that my counselor said today, which I hadn't thought of and I loved, and have started today.

We are going through something incredibly hard, one of the hardest things we will ever face, and our children may not know or understand what's going on, depending on their age of course. I have a 23 month old, and I have started a journal today for her to read when she's older, so she can understand I did everything I could to bring us together, and I am thinking of her every second, everyday.

My counselor made a good point, it's like a gift for her, and it will mean so much to her that I have hand written this, with all my love for her. And it can just be day to day things, as simple as 'I'm looking out the window, it's a sunny day, the colours are beautiful. I'm thinking of you.' Just as an example.

You could even stick photos and create a kind of scrapbook of memories.

Writing is good for you, get your thoughts out. Our little ones will appreciate this when they're older. It will give them understanding of this time, and what we did, the fight, to bring us together again with them.

 

[DB2021]

Hi guys, I wanted to share something simple that my counselor said today, which I hadn't thought of and I loved, and have started today.

We are going through something incredibly hard, one of the hardest things we will ever face, and our children may not know or understand what's going on, depending on their age of course. I have a 23 month old, and I have started a journal today for her to read when she's older, so she can understand I did everything I could to bring us together, and I am thinking of her every second, everyday.

My counselor made a good point, it's like a gift for her, and it will mean so much to her that I have hand written this, with all my love for her. And it can just be day to day things, as simple as 'I'm looking out the window, it's a sunny day, the colours are beautiful. I'm thinking of you.' Just as an example.

You could even stick photos and create a kind of scrapbook of memories.

Writing is good for you, get your thoughts out. Our little ones will appreciate this when they're older. It will give them understanding of this time, and what we did, the fight, to bring us together again with them.

That’s an amazing idea .

I made an email account for my little girl I’ve been doing it since she was born.

I don’t email every day but as much as I can and I attach pictures etc of the things we’ve done over the last few years.

I also mention how things have been and what has happened even in the bad times but I write nothing that attacks either her or her mum just that things haven’t been good sometimes.

It helps me no end and one day I hope she will get to read them all and look back and see the truth of things and that I fought for her with everything I had of things do go completely wrong and I lose her.

 

[winger]

That’s an amazing idea .

I made an email account for my little girl I’ve been doing it since she was born.

I don’t email every day but as much as I can and I attach pictures etc of the things we’ve done over the last few years.

I also mention how things have been and what has happened even in the bad times but I write nothing that attacks either her or her mum just that things haven’t been good sometimes.

It helps me no end and one day I hope she will get to read them all and look back and see the truth of things and that I fought for her with everything I had of things do go completely wrong and I lose her.

Great idea DB, she'll love it.
It shows them we never stopped, and did it all for them.

 

[MagicJ]

Hi Winger,

This is a great idea, I started the same process and was journaling for several months and it helped greatly.
I did stop however when things have been pretty bad as I focused my energies on getting through the process.

I hope to restart, its cathartic and a great

That’s an amazing idea .

I made an email account for my little girl I’ve been doing it since she was born.

I don’t email every day but as much as I can and I attach pictures etc of the things we’ve done over the last few years.

I also mention how things have been and what has happened even in the bad times but I write nothing that attacks either her or her mum just that things haven’t been good sometimes.

It helps me no end and one day I hope she will get to read them all and look back and see the truth of things and that I fought for her with everything I had of things do go completely wrong and I lose her.

This is also a great idea and much easier I think albeit there is something cathartic about physically writing on paper but hey, we can do both

 

[Ash]

I think it's a great idea too I think it's more than journalling, it is making something for your child. Another guy did the email thing too and said when his child was grown up he would give them the email account. Paper may be better though - like a scrapbook. Because who knows whether email will still exist in 15 years time lol!

 

[DB2021]

I think it's a great idea too I think it's more than journalling, it is making something for your child. Another guy did the email thing too and said when his child was grown up he would give them the email account. Paper may be better though - like a scrapbook. Because who knows whether email will still exist in 15 years time lol!

I had wondered about that so I think I will start a journal and start writing things down. Can always tape pictures into it aswell , my mind at the time was I wanted her to see all the pictures we’ve taken together etc that’s why I thought the email idea was better but I agree with you both a lot more personal writing a journal

 

[Ash]

You can still do the email thing as well - maybe a bit of both. No doubt things could be printed out or transferred if email every ceased to exist!

 

[winger]

I had wondered about that so I think I will start a journal and start writing things down. Can always tape pictures into it aswell , my mind at the time was I wanted her to see all the pictures we’ve taken together etc that’s why I thought the email idea was better but I agree with you both a lot more personal writing a journal

That was my thinking, almost like a scrapbook. You can put pictures in there, even a shell you find on a walk along the beach, when you were thinking of them. If you like drawing you could even incorporate that into it, a sketch or even a doodle of where you are.

 

[DB2021]

That was my thinking, almost like a scrapbook. You can put pictures in there, even a shell you find on a walk along the beach, when you were thinking of them. If you like drawing you could even incorporate that into it, a sketch or even a doodle of where you are.

I think the hardest part is how low we feel sometimes because we can’t be with them or wondering what there doing and if they think of us it’s a horrible place to be in and writing things during those times can be the most difficult.

But I’m definitely going to start one and one day I hope she gets to see it

 

[winger]

I think the hardest part is how low we feel sometimes because we can’t be with them or wondering what there doing and if they think of us it’s a horrible place to be in and writing things during those times can be the most difficult.

But I’m definitely going to start one and one day I hope she gets to see it

That's exactly how I feel too. It's very hard. But we WILL see them soon, and this awful time will end. And I like to think of it like this too - this time, is a blink of an eye, in the grand scheme of our lives together. We have so many wonderful times together to come.

I sent my first little jiffy bag package to my daughter yesterday, it's comforting knowing she will see the pictures of us, and I'll be with her in that way, I can't remember who said about that but it's a great idea. I bought a jiffy bag, drew something nice in vibrant colours, stickers, put a few things in there for her, a letter and some pictures of us together. Put it inside a bigger jiffy bag (because the smaller one is decorated and has stickers on it). Doing one once a week.

 

[MagicJ]

@winger how are the Counselling, Journals & Weekly Packages coming along?

 

[winger]

@winger how are the Counselling, Journals & Weekly Packages coming along?

Hey Magic,

Counseling was good thanks I had a few sessions, it helped me understand how the ex and her family really have problems, a lot more than I realised, it helps a lot to talk, and helps you understand a bit more and sort your perspective. Because I'm sure it's the same for everyone, your mind feels like it's in a whirl because your thinking of so much and trying to understand what on earth is going on.

Weekly packages are great, I'm doing a nice drawing on each jiffy bag and it has pictures and a few things inside. I can picture my daughter looking at the pictures and playing with the things I send. It's a nice way to be with her, in that way, for now. I'm recording everything too, so I can show her I did this when she's older.

It's crazy we even have to do this, but we do it for our children, while going through the process.