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Courts really are on mother's side


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Does anyone know what I can do to bring the children's stepmother to the contact centre with me to see the children? The contact reports show how much my boys miss her and my wife really misses them and she starting to feel it now more than ever.

Have you had a look at the National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) website? Or better still, sent them a message to put your situation (and question) to them?

Googling the question; "Can my new partner come into contact sessions with me?" brings up a few search results directly from their website.

And their advice is that "Seeing your child at a contact centre is a very emotionally provocative event for you and your child. Initially, it is best if these sessions are used for you and your child to build and strengthen your relationships in this very unfamiliar environment" but this is not taking into consideration that this is not just your new partner or a new person to your children, it's your wife, who clearly plays a role and has an established relationship with your boys.

I may be worth a shot to find out where you stand.


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Super Moderator
Something suggested to me once by my solicitor was to say "As I've had no response to my letter/email of x date I am taking that as acceptance".

ie you could write to her solicitors again and say "Following my emails of x date and x date, as I have had no response to proposing the childrens stepmother comes to the contact centre with me, I am assuming there is no issue with this and she will be attending the next appointment. We both miss the children and they will be pleased to see her".

That will probably get a response. It might be a no we don't agree to that. But then they'd look bad - which is maybe why they haven't responded. If you get no response to the "taking it as acceptance" email then just do it.


Staff member
Super Moderator
Do you have to only deal with her solicitor or can you email her direct? Another Dad did that - emailed his ex and copied in the solicitor - this was to bring another child with him (half sibling) pointing out that as the ex's partner regularly saw the children, presumably there was no objection to child's half sibling meeting them. She agreed (possibly because it was part way through court proceedings and she wanted to look good - which is another consideration!).


I have only read the initial message so if some of my comments have already been stated please accept my apologies.

Unfortunately, you are dealing with Practice Direction 12J (PD12J) which the courts use as a guide. I have been in a similar situation but not to that extreme (assaulted by the mother but had to see my kids at a contact centre) and PD12J is completely one-sided, and as soon as anyone mentioned abuse it states that protection should be given to the children and the person with whom they reside.

I have engaged with my local MP to talk about PD12J and how this needs looking into as it's open to abuse and doesn't take into account the father being the one abused. He's raised it with the Solicitor General and as of yet, I am still awaiting a reply around this.

All I can say is keep playing with a straight bat and do not lower yourself to her level. Its going to take time to go through the system. My kids were taken away from me in Jan 2021 (with the process starting back at the end of 2020) and I'm only going into the final hearing in August this year so cannot state for sure what the outcome will be, but I have confidence and have been told by my legal team that the truth will come out in the end.
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