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CAFCASS interview

It's a really difficult one isn't it.

I made the decision to put as much distance as I could between my ex and myself. To protect me from anymore allegations.

I have kept a really good dialogue with the school and have done all I can to be an active participant in my children's education. It's been next to impossible due to the actions of my ex.

My experience is that these mothers will use anything or everything to muddy th waters.

If you have a hearing in October, could you maintain whatever positive input you are currently having and then, once you have a court order, arrange a meeting with the head / class teacher and formalise a plan.

Unless you have concerns that your child's progress is being substantially hampered I'd see any comments made by that ex for what they are, the last burning embers of her desperation for control.
 
nothernsoul said:
It's a really difficult one isn't it.

I made the decision to put as much distance as I could between my ex and myself. To protect me from anymore allegations.

I have kept a really good dialogue with the school and have done all I can to be an active participant in my children's education. It's been next to impossible due to the actions of my ex.

My experience is that these mothers will use anything or everything to muddy th waters.

If you have a hearing in October, could you maintain whatever positive input you are currently having and then, once you have a court order, arrange a meeting with the head / class teacher and formalise a plan.

Unless you have concerns that your child's progress is being substantially hampered I'd see any comments made by that ex for what they are, the last burning embers of her desperation for control.
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The issue is she attempted to get a non melostation order in place and was told by the judge she had to accept a undertaking and I it was going to be dismissed .so I made a promise to the court which is totally wrong as the allegations were false and no evidence to back it up. This was put in place of January this year, will this affect anything for me being involved in my son's education and prevent me from pick up and drop offs
 
Hi @bbl I am not that familiar with court based undertakings but are you able to share non-confidential elements of what was ordered in it if that isn't too identifying?

As a general rule, an undertaking in the court is enforced directly by a Judge & should be taken seriously i.e. if there are timings, distance rules etc. It should followed with some margin for yourself, as if it be broken, a Judge will enforce it directly & this can have a detrimental impact on the person for whom it is made.
 
As far as I am aware it is no contact, direct or in direct from myself towards the applicant. There is no mention of my son, as I said it is wrong on every level as I wasn't even given chance to prove all the allegations were false which I have all the evidence to reflect this.
 
That is a difficult situation @bbl as your ex is effectively the gatekeeper, so no contact of any form effectively prevents access - is there a follow-up on this, another hearing? Is there a time-limit on the undertaking i.e. till X date or till X hearing or till Interim Arrangements or till S7 Report?

I would stay involved in the routes that you can, for example as below as @nothernsoul mentions, build solid relationship with the school, setup regular meeitng's to track progress, ask them to share reports & incidents with you, get a separate parents evening slot setup - if you have parental responsibility & proof of this, then providing it should allow them to support you in this way.

I can't recall if you have gained access to your child's GP but again, there is a process for this & getting the last 12m of interactions with the GP will also help you stay involved.

All of this will be useful to show in court in October that whilst you may have been ordered to stay away, you are fully involved in ensuring your Child is well cared for, as much as the undertaking allows.

nothernsoul said:
It's a really difficult one isn't it.

I made the decision to put as much distance as I could between my ex and myself. To protect me from anymore allegations.

I have kept a really good dialogue with the school and have done all I can to be an active participant in my children's education. It's been next to impossible due to the actions of my ex.
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The undertakking is untill January next year. I have an interim contact order in place prior the section 7 in October, this is over night stays alternate weekends. But again mum has refused my access to school and GP by her.
 
Do you have parental responsibility, are you on the Birth Certificate and do you have a copy of it?
 
Yes I do have parental responsibility and have a copy of my son's birth certificate.
 
I'm not sure if they've been linked already in this thread....

You can follow the process here to get access to the medical records:
Accessing your child's GP Records

You can follow the process here to support access to the school:
Accessing the School Records

I found that booking an appointment to see the Headteacher, being child focussed, expressing a significant interest in supporting your child, never say anything about the mother etc. was helpful albeit I am not currently dealing with an NMO or any form of related Undertaking so others may be able to assist with tweaking the letters if at all needed.
 
bbl said:
Yes I do have parental responsibility and have a copy of my son's birth certificate.
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Usually the advice is to get in front of a Solicitor with the certificate, they will charge a small nominal fee just to give you a letter that certifies you have parental responsibility. The birth certificate on it's own isn't always accepted by either the school or GP, so the letter will be your additional supporting document if either services require it.
 
Hello all, can I ask. when I am interviewed by CAFCASS would it be advisable to show the officer the contract that my ex partner had completed for shared care as she denied it was not in place, stated this was in place when he was in nursery only, however this is not true.
 
It wouldn't do any harm but they may refuse to look at documents.
 
You could try. As well as putting it in a follow up email to the cafcass officer after the interview.

I say this because after my partners interview he received a text from a mum of his sons friend. It was just to say his son confided in her daughter he missed his dad.
Not the same as a contract or report but important info.
My partner then forwarded this text onto the cafcass officer. She even mentioned it in her report.
 
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