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Applying for CAO
- Thread starter KO70
- Start date
You don’t have to fit all that in 5b. Don’t do what some people do and make the text tiny to fit in the box. You can just put “please see attached sheet “ and type it out. Don’t think you can do that with an online application though - no idea how you’d add an extra sheet doing it online. I’ve only ever printed out the form, photocopied and posted it or taken it into court. Online sounds a lot less hassle but if there’s no way of adding that wording to an online application then I’d be tempted to go through the hassle of printing and photocopying just to ensure it’s good application wording!
If there‘a an option to upload an extra sheet, can you let me know?
If there‘a an option to upload an extra sheet, can you let me know?
Good grief. I just looked at the online form and it seems biased! The first question in the step by step process is "where do the children live?" and all it asks for is a postcode. Only ONE postcode! Then click next. I started doing an online one but couldn't get very far as it wants mediator actual details.
What did you put for where does the child live? I don't like that format because it only allows for one home (in some cases it is already "lives with both parents" so doesn't give the option for two homes. The reason I don't like it is, because it means applying to court automatically gives the Mother residency, just by saying the child lives with her. Which means automatically it is only a "spends time with" order. No other option!
What did you put for where does the child live? I don't like that format because it only allows for one home (in some cases it is already "lives with both parents" so doesn't give the option for two homes. The reason I don't like it is, because it means applying to court automatically gives the Mother residency, just by saying the child lives with her. Which means automatically it is only a "spends time with" order. No other option!
I'm going to start a thread on this, because however convenient it is applying online, I don't think the online form is fit for purpose if it only asks for a postcode at the start (for one address). And no doubt in time there will only be an online application available, so suggest using the paper one while you still can. It looks like all the .Gov online applications for everything under the sun - and doesn't fit all criteria.
Just started a guide to completing the C100 which might help - if you haven't done it already. Not finished yet.
How to complete C100
How to complete C100
Hey Ash I filled in the application online unfortunately I clicked on both spend time with and live with. I did click the he lives with both me and his mother but put in her postcode as I’m only able to put in one :/. I did that as a way to follow your advise in regards to residence. I was able to put all the details that you drafted for me and it just expanded the box on the review section. It’s a bit annoying, but hopefully doesn’t mess up what I’m actually applying for. I wish I saw your message before doing it, but hopefully during the Cafcass call I can explain much better as to what I was looking to achieve.
At least your application is gone 
. And you explained in your application wording what you wanted so that’s the important bit. I’m sorry too - I hadn’t actually seen the online application before- it’s quite a recent thing and for a while was only available in certain regions.
I’m not sure Cafcass will be particularly supportive of lives with - but you never know. But it is something you can mention further in a position statement for a hearing. And also at first hearing. But hey - you don’t ask, you don’t get!
The only real difference between lives with and spends time with - is psychological - in that it stops the parent with lives with, overstepping the mark and effectively gives you both equal status. It also means either of you can take child abroad for holidays without having to seek the consent of the other one.
The other main difference- and this is only an issue if you have a hostile ex - is that the parent the child “lives with” is also the “parent with care” - meaning they can have more clout with schools, GP’s etc. If they abuse that they can tell a school not to let a parent see a child etc.
Whereas lives with both means there is no “parent with care” - it’s shared care.
But an order for time still needs to be followed whether it’s spends time with or lives with.
You mentioned ticking both lives with and spends time with. I didn’t get very far with the online application (because I wasn’t actually applying!). It sounds like later on the form it asked you to tick one or the other - is that right? In which case it’s even more geared against “shared care” of it only allows you to select spends time with or residency and not “lives with both “.
I am just wondering who was involved with the design of the online form! Women’s Aid maybe?
. And you explained in your application wording what you wanted so that’s the important bit. I’m sorry too - I hadn’t actually seen the online application before- it’s quite a recent thing and for a while was only available in certain regions.I’m not sure Cafcass will be particularly supportive of lives with - but you never know. But it is something you can mention further in a position statement for a hearing. And also at first hearing. But hey - you don’t ask, you don’t get!
The only real difference between lives with and spends time with - is psychological - in that it stops the parent with lives with, overstepping the mark and effectively gives you both equal status. It also means either of you can take child abroad for holidays without having to seek the consent of the other one.
The other main difference- and this is only an issue if you have a hostile ex - is that the parent the child “lives with” is also the “parent with care” - meaning they can have more clout with schools, GP’s etc. If they abuse that they can tell a school not to let a parent see a child etc.
Whereas lives with both means there is no “parent with care” - it’s shared care.
But an order for time still needs to be followed whether it’s spends time with or lives with.
You mentioned ticking both lives with and spends time with. I didn’t get very far with the online application (because I wasn’t actually applying!). It sounds like later on the form it asked you to tick one or the other - is that right? In which case it’s even more geared against “shared care” of it only allows you to select spends time with or residency and not “lives with both “.
I am just wondering who was involved with the design of the online form! Women’s Aid maybe?
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Nah it registered as both Live with and Spend time with. At first I did spends time with but when it came to the review, my guts told me to click live with also… so I did itAt least your application is gone
I’m not sure Cafcass will be particularly supportive of lives with - but you never know. But it is something you can mention further in a position statement for a hearing. And also at first hearing. But hey - you don’t ask, you don’t get!
The only real difference between lives with and spends time with - is psychological - in that it stops the parent with lives with, overstepping the mark and effectively gives you both equal status. It also means either of you can take child abroad for holidays without having to seek the consent of the other one.
The other main difference- and this is only an issue if you have a hostile ex - is that the parent the child “lives with” is also the “parent with care” - meaning they can have more clout with schools, GP’s etc. If they abuse that they can tell a school not to let a parent see a child etc.
Whereas lives with both means there is no “parent with care” - it’s shared care.
But an order for time still needs to be followed whether it’s spends time with or lives with.
You mentioned ticking both lives with and spends time with. I didn’t get very far with the online application (because I wasn’t actually applying!). It sounds like later on the form it asked you to tick one or the other - is that right? In which case it’s even more geared against “shared care” of it only allows you to select spends time with or residency and not “lives with both “.
I am just wondering who was involved with the design of the online form! Women’s Aid maybe?
Thanks for helping me this far. Hopefully Cafcass wouldn’t have too much of an issue with it, I’ll just explain to them that I did it that way due to being an online application. I bet it is women’s aid 
they really need to update it, but life ain’t fair soo 
I’ve made it clear that I’m after shared care, which is something I’m entitled to.
You probably won't need to explain anything anyway. Just keep saying you would like shared care. Tell Cafcass you want to be a fully involved parent 100% and share the care of your son. Don't say you're entitled to it though (although I agree, you are!) - they're only interested in the best interests of the child. So say - it's a benefit to my son to have a fully involved relationship with both parents and I have already been caring for him when with me. And that you think that, in the long run it will help with better co parenting with your ex if you're both equally sharing the care, and also allow your ex to fulfil her personal potential if she wants to start a new career - and so better for your son in the long run - with both parents looking after him fully and both parents achieving in life.
Good stuff. Have you had your court papers back? Assume so if ex has read your application (is that what you mean by your statement?). Any reaction?!
Are Cafcass still asking you to confirm details via Egress? (Which is a tedious process!). After confirming details by Egress/ email they should then send you a letter - either by post or letter - with a date and time for a phone interview.
Are Cafcass still asking you to confirm details via Egress? (Which is a tedious process!). After confirming details by Egress/ email they should then send you a letter - either by post or letter - with a date and time for a phone interview.
Nah they told me to call a number to confirm the details. They’re then attempting to get the ball rolling by end of November. Yeah she has read my application and isn’t to happy that I’m taking her to court. She’s shocked even though the mediation assistant advised her this can happen due to her refusing mediation. I think because it was done online that’s why they want me to contact, just in case any information has changed
I’ve had my first hearing! I believe it went pretty well. I conducted myself very well, remained calm & was clear about what I wanted. I didn’t get the chance to speak to the Cafcass officer before the first hearing. So I had a quick session with her 1 hour before the hearing started, then I advised that the arrangement I want is the same as on the application. My ex didn’t bother writing a statement nor did she come prepared (the hearing took place on teams, everyone had their cameras on & she joined via telephone) She did her best to be disagreeable as possible (the hearing took longer than 1 hour, cos they had to keep going back and forth with her). Because of this there was a temporary order that I’d be having my son at mine for 2 hours on Tuesdays and 6 hours on Saturdays until the final hearing, this is legally binding too!
The final hearing is in July, but there’s now an issue. My ex has decided to breach the order and stopped contact again. She claims that I assaulted her, which I didn’t. I don’t know how to prove that I didn’t assault her as I didn’t record our interaction, do you have any idea how this can affect my final hearing & what’s the best way that I can prove I didn’t assault her? I don’t have a history of assault or being abusive, nor would I be stupid enough to lay my hands on her when I’m getting what I’ve wanted which is access to my son albeit for a couple days in the week. I’ve never even been arrested!
The final hearing is in July, but there’s now an issue. My ex has decided to breach the order and stopped contact again. She claims that I assaulted her, which I didn’t. I don’t know how to prove that I didn’t assault her as I didn’t record our interaction, do you have any idea how this can affect my final hearing & what’s the best way that I can prove I didn’t assault her? I don’t have a history of assault or being abusive, nor would I be stupid enough to lay my hands on her when I’m getting what I’ve wanted which is access to my son albeit for a couple days in the week. I’ve never even been arrested!
You haven't been arrested. Good. Congratulations on the interim order! That shows they considered there were no welfare issues at the first hearing. What exactly is your ex claiming? Presumably you only ever see her at handover? If she hadn't stopped contact I'd say - ignore and sit it out till final hearing as if she accuses that in her statement but has no evidence, it'll be ignored. But as she has stopped contact and your next hearing isn't until July. I am not sure of the best course of action. Normally the first thing would be to send her a short polite email, asking her to fulfill her obligations under the court order and allow your daughter to be with you on x date as per the order. A sort of letter before action.
Another option could be to email the court and advise them she has stopped contact and ask for an urgent directions hearing. I am not so sure about that as it might be playing into her hands if she's now making allegations and delay things. Also not sure you'd get an urgent hearing before July (but it's possible).
Or you could get some legal advice and ask a solicitor to write to her saying she must comply with the interim order.
Don't rush into anything right now. Maybe the first step is to get a free half hour's legal advice from a solicitor, and see what they say.
My gut feeling is - wait until final hearing. That is really tough if you're not seeing your daughter, but at least it gets to a final hearing. You can put in your statement that she has witheld your daughter since x date and not complied with the interim order. She can accuse you of things in her statement, but without any evidence to back it up, it will probably just be ignored at that stage as Cafcass had already decided no welfare issues.
Hard as it is that she is witholding your daughter, it could be better to be low key, rather than antagonise her and her decide to go to the Police. Get a half hour's legal advice and we can think about writing to her. It's always difficult to write anything when you've been accused of something, but you can ignore it and write something normal anyway - had to do it myself - and it's all more evidence for the final hearing - to show you behaved normally and politely and didn't react to her allegations - shows it's more about seeing your daughter.
Another option could be to email the court and advise them she has stopped contact and ask for an urgent directions hearing. I am not so sure about that as it might be playing into her hands if she's now making allegations and delay things. Also not sure you'd get an urgent hearing before July (but it's possible).
Or you could get some legal advice and ask a solicitor to write to her saying she must comply with the interim order.
Don't rush into anything right now. Maybe the first step is to get a free half hour's legal advice from a solicitor, and see what they say.
My gut feeling is - wait until final hearing. That is really tough if you're not seeing your daughter, but at least it gets to a final hearing. You can put in your statement that she has witheld your daughter since x date and not complied with the interim order. She can accuse you of things in her statement, but without any evidence to back it up, it will probably just be ignored at that stage as Cafcass had already decided no welfare issues.
Hard as it is that she is witholding your daughter, it could be better to be low key, rather than antagonise her and her decide to go to the Police. Get a half hour's legal advice and we can think about writing to her. It's always difficult to write anything when you've been accused of something, but you can ignore it and write something normal anyway - had to do it myself - and it's all more evidence for the final hearing - to show you behaved normally and politely and didn't react to her allegations - shows it's more about seeing your daughter.