Advice needed

[drlogic]

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for reading my post. My partner reported me to the police for Malicious calls and abusive messages (which caused her stress and anxiety). It happened due to an argument. Police detained me for 24 hours and released on 3 months pre-charge conditional bail (not to contact or interfere her unless contact is made via mutual friend for child care). This decision by police was unexpected for her as she was expectimg 24 hours cooling down period. Social services also involved. She is worried now and preparing to contact the police to drop the charges / remove bail condition for the sake of kids. Her decision to call the police was made in rush. We have 3 kids (10,9,7 years old) living with her in our family house. I pay 100% household including mortgage. We were used to share the kids duties (schooling, other activities). Now it's all over the place. She has no issues with me to contact or meet with the kids. She is helpful and ready to do everything to remove the condition for sake of kids, for their well-being and mental health. I am not living in the family house anymore. I am not contacting her except via mutual friend for childcare. We dont want separation or divorce. What is the way forward from here? I highly appreciate your advice.

 

[Resolute]

I am a very suspicious individual.

Once Child Arrangements are at stake, I struggle to see the best in people.

Maybe my thought is too cynical.

Anyway, your ex says she wants to remove the conditions and/or drop the charges. I'm assuming she does not want to withdraw the allegations. If all she is doing is for the sake of the kids. She would be keeping her allegations in reserve. Possibly for family court proceedings. The family court is nothing like as thorough as the police are. In short, it would be a better place to capitalise on the allegations.

As to what you should do. That is a tough call. If you do not think the evidence would justify a conviction against you. There could be benefit in proceeding to NFA decision from the police. And, benefit to her in having them dropped out of concern for the kids, the goodness of her heart.

My ex was in the process of telling me how perfect a father I am, how wonderful I have been for the child, that her guiding aim was to keep me in the child's life as an equal... We were living in the same house. All the while, she was on a DV course and composing hundreds of pages to convince the court that her and the child have suffered years of abuse from me.

My judgement is probably tainted by this experience.

 

[drlogic]

Thank you so much for reply. I believe she wants to withdraw allegations too (if not, than you are right. She wants to reserve it for future reference). She is not a bad person but under the influence of her friends and on their advice she has done this with an assumption that the things will get back to normal after 24 hours cooling down period. She was not expecting 3 months restriction. Now she is regretting by saying 'my friends are happy at their home with their families and I am struggling and missing my kids father from family house'. I wish she could have used her mind before doing this.
Anyways - what are chances of police accepting her request to withdraw the complaint/allegations/remove conditions please? and how long it takes roughly?
Would she require to go to the police station or she simply send an email to the officer dealing the case?

 

[Nanaforsonsjustice]

My son was in exactly the same position. There was no evidence to prove the allegations his now ex made, but because she retracted her statement by calling 101 and making a retraction statement my son was NFA’d. But now the problem is she is using the same allegations in family court to try and prevent 50 50 shared care, despite her being the perpetrator of abuse. Had the Police continued the investigation and NFA’d him themselves due to insufficient evidence or proving her allegations to be false, without her retracting her statement he would be in a far better position in the family court.

 

[drlogic]

Thanks for reply. I am sorry to hear about your son. When she retracted her statement by calling 101, was it instant action from police or took few days/weeks to inform your son about NFA? Did he complete 3 months bail?

 

[Nanaforsonsjustice]

They took a statement pretty much straight away and he was NFA’d a few days later. No he only did 1 month.

 

[drlogic]

Thank you. She has given the statement and now awaiting feedback.

 

[drlogic]

Still waiting. No updates at all. Wonder how long would it take them to drop the case or atleast update us on the progress

 

[drlogic]

Thanks everybody.
The question is: Once she has contacted the case police officer and retracted her statement/drops the case. How long it takes police to action? Is it matter of days or week or full 3 months bail period?
Would it definitely be NFA (no further action) from police or matter still goes to CPS despite retraction statement?

 

[Ash]

Have you had a police interview? If you have and you say "no comment" to everything, I believe they can't pass it to the CPS anyway. You're also entitled to a free criminal lawyer to represent you at a police interview.

I suspect if your wife withdraws the accusations and says she doesn't want to press charges, the police will drop it and it will go no further.

 

[drlogic]

Thanks Ash. Police had my interview in the presence of my solicitor and after that I was released on 3 months bail (precharge bail) with condition to not contact my partner. Wonder if police still pass it to CPS despite my partner's statement to withdraw or police takes NFA.
In worst case scenario if it goes to CPS, what are the options pls

 

[drlogic]

Have you had a police interview? If you have and you say "no comment" to everything, I believe they can't pass it to the CPS anyway. You're also entitled to a free criminal lawyer to represent you at a police interview.

I suspect if your wife withdraws the accusations and says she doesn't want to press charges, the police will drop it and it will go no further.

Sorry forgot to mention, I did not say no comments. I have given my statement too. After that released on 3 months bail with condition.

 

[Ash]

Did your solicitor advise saying no comment to everything? If that didn't happen then they could pass it to the CPS possibly. Hopefully once your partner contacts them they will close it as NFA.

 

[Ash]

Sorry forgot to mention, I did not say no comments. I have given my statement too. After that released on 3 months bail with condition.

Ok. So just have to see what happens. Tricky if you're not allowed to contact her - how will you know if she withdraws the allegations?

 

[drlogic]

Ok. So just have to see what happens. Tricky if you're not allowed to contact her - how will you know if she withdraws the allegations?

Through mutual friend and relatives