Hello All,
I’ll start with a brief outline of my relationship with my ex. I’ve recently learned about the term “gaslighting” and it sums up my relationship with my ex perfectly. In the midst of the relationship we had our daughter who is now 6years old. We split when my daughter was around 2 years old. I just couldn’t take anymore mental abuse and I made the heart wrenching decision to leave for my own health. My ex had 2 older children and had arrangements with their father already in place for 50/50 access. This is something that I agreed would work well for our daughter. For the last 4 years we have kept the same arrangement.
Last year my ex tried to commit suicide and I looked after my daughter whilst she recuperated. I explained to the school what had happened and they made a note of the situation and what the ex had tried to do. I was still working full time and I utilised school clubs, and had family members and friends help me out with school pick ups. Shortly after this had happened my Mum, my daughters Nana, passed away.
My ex ended up losing the house that she was renting and subsequently moved back home with her parents.
Since this happened I noticed little differences in my daughter and things she would say to me ie; mummy said this, mummy said that, mummy said I don’t need to do this or that.
Then last November my ex suddenly stopped me from having access to my daughter. She wouldn’t communicate with me, wouldn’t respond to my solicitor, and wouldn’t respond to the school. My daughter was kept off of school which were marked down as unauthorised absences.
I have had contact for 30mins each week at school, and I recorded every session as I am worried that she is being mentally abused. Every time I’ve seen my daughter she has always thrown her arms around me, told me she misses me, she loves me, she has been asking mummy to come to mine but mummy says no.
My court application is still pending and my solicitor is chasing everyday.
Last week I had a call from social services and I was thinking this was the start of my court application. How wrong I was! It was actually a phone call about an allegation of bruising on my daughter which had supposedly been caused by me tickling my daughter. The phone call absolutely floored me and I was completely lost for words. I explained to Social Services the situation I was in, and that I record every time I see my daughter. They told me the case was closed from their side, but that I should seek legal advice and keep going for access through the courts.
Having read my daughters medical notes, it was noted that she had bruises on her which were classed as “the normal” but she had a bruise on her lower back. The doctor asked if she had been tickled and my daughter answered that I had tickled her, she doesn’t like being tickled and that she pretends it doesn’t hurt.
It goes without saying that I am absolutely mortified! I have never hurt my daughter by tickling her or in any other way. I obviously have the recordings of our meetings at the school and there is nothing on them other than us playing board games and talking about school, holidays, party’s etc.
In the meetings at the school, my daughter has often told me things that are being said in front of her by her Mum and her family. She’s cried because she misses me and wants to come back to mine. We had a fantastic life together and now it’s being ruined by whatever is happening to her.
I am still waiting to hear back from the courts, and I am worried sick that I am going to lose my daughter because of these bullcrap allegations.
Any words of advice, encouragement or support would be very welcome because I am sick with worry and stress.
I’ll start with a brief outline of my relationship with my ex. I’ve recently learned about the term “gaslighting” and it sums up my relationship with my ex perfectly. In the midst of the relationship we had our daughter who is now 6years old. We split when my daughter was around 2 years old. I just couldn’t take anymore mental abuse and I made the heart wrenching decision to leave for my own health. My ex had 2 older children and had arrangements with their father already in place for 50/50 access. This is something that I agreed would work well for our daughter. For the last 4 years we have kept the same arrangement.
Last year my ex tried to commit suicide and I looked after my daughter whilst she recuperated. I explained to the school what had happened and they made a note of the situation and what the ex had tried to do. I was still working full time and I utilised school clubs, and had family members and friends help me out with school pick ups. Shortly after this had happened my Mum, my daughters Nana, passed away.
My ex ended up losing the house that she was renting and subsequently moved back home with her parents.
Since this happened I noticed little differences in my daughter and things she would say to me ie; mummy said this, mummy said that, mummy said I don’t need to do this or that.
Then last November my ex suddenly stopped me from having access to my daughter. She wouldn’t communicate with me, wouldn’t respond to my solicitor, and wouldn’t respond to the school. My daughter was kept off of school which were marked down as unauthorised absences.
I have had contact for 30mins each week at school, and I recorded every session as I am worried that she is being mentally abused. Every time I’ve seen my daughter she has always thrown her arms around me, told me she misses me, she loves me, she has been asking mummy to come to mine but mummy says no.
My court application is still pending and my solicitor is chasing everyday.
Last week I had a call from social services and I was thinking this was the start of my court application. How wrong I was! It was actually a phone call about an allegation of bruising on my daughter which had supposedly been caused by me tickling my daughter. The phone call absolutely floored me and I was completely lost for words. I explained to Social Services the situation I was in, and that I record every time I see my daughter. They told me the case was closed from their side, but that I should seek legal advice and keep going for access through the courts.
Having read my daughters medical notes, it was noted that she had bruises on her which were classed as “the normal” but she had a bruise on her lower back. The doctor asked if she had been tickled and my daughter answered that I had tickled her, she doesn’t like being tickled and that she pretends it doesn’t hurt.
It goes without saying that I am absolutely mortified! I have never hurt my daughter by tickling her or in any other way. I obviously have the recordings of our meetings at the school and there is nothing on them other than us playing board games and talking about school, holidays, party’s etc.
In the meetings at the school, my daughter has often told me things that are being said in front of her by her Mum and her family. She’s cried because she misses me and wants to come back to mine. We had a fantastic life together and now it’s being ruined by whatever is happening to her.
I am still waiting to hear back from the courts, and I am worried sick that I am going to lose my daughter because of these bullcrap allegations.
Any words of advice, encouragement or support would be very welcome because I am sick with worry and stress.